My husbands family is going through a rough time right now and he wants to invite his younger brothers to spend the weekend with us to kind of get away. I've been sick for about a week now and haven't really gotten a whole lot of sleep and thought I could catch up this weekend. So, not only is our apartment really cramped with just the two of us and I don't really know how to act around younger kids, but I'm also sick so I feel like it's going to be a very awkward time. My husband says he's irritated that I won't try to be helpful, but I don't see why we can't just pick them up for a couple of hours and take them to a movie or something. I feel awkward letting people stay at my house, even my own family. In a house so small I feel like I don't have room to play hostess. Am I being irrational? Thoughts? Comments?
2007-07-30 11:31:17 · 6 answers · asked by Jennie 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Tough call, and families are just different. What I would be as afraid of as a bad weekend is setting a pattern where this could happen more than once. Personally I think people should keep themselves seperate from living with their own family beyond childhood. It just causes problems. His brothers coming to "get away" is not going to solve whatever problems they are having. Others take the approach that family is everything and always welcome and so forth. I don't lean that way myself, I just think people need to be independent and create and deal with their own lives and creating artificial solutions like "getting away" is just an inconvience I wouldn't want to deal with, but more than that, because I wouldn't want to begin a cycle of this behavior with these same family members or others as well as with a spouse (your husband) who needs to learn now that you aren't going to have this sort of thing throughout your marriage. If all he is is irritated, I would stand my ground and tell him you are sick and need to rest, or some of the above if you agree.
2007-07-30 11:42:57 · answer #1 · answered by The Scorpion 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's hard having guests when you're sick. But this is now your family, too. And all the close families that I know visit each other on occassion.
How about you try offering a compromise to your husband. You do the movie thing this weekend because you're still not feeling 100% and then you have them overnight next weekend? If something like that would work it's a lot better then flat out denying his family.
2007-07-30 15:20:52 · answer #2 · answered by Critter 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm ideal there with you different than we aren't married yet. tell him love it is. tell him you want the family contributors time, which you like the family contributors time, yet you want some down time for merely the two certainly one of you. How plenty does he help around the homestead? Does he help sparkling or prepare dinner or something? How previous is your doorstep son? Does he have chores? If not, supply him some. He desires some accountability, too. tell your husband which you're merely too drained and that in case you had some help, which you would be waiting to furnish him greater interest. good success.
2016-10-01 01:28:12 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he probably feels torn between yourself and his family,he just wants to do the right thing in his mind and having his brother over makes him think he is doing something to help out,tell your husband you understand,have his brother stay,but on the understanding that you have been sick,still feeling groggy,n just ask him too keep the noise or what ever he does to do it without much noise,,maybe they could go out a few hours why you get some rest,,put things to your hubby,then maybe he will try n understand how you are feeling,hope your feeling well soon,n things work out there xxxx
2007-07-30 11:58:52 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand that you are feeling sick and this may not be the best time for visitors, but think of his brothers. May be you can throw a couple sleeping bags on the floor and your husband would be able to entertain his brothers while you catch up on your rest. It is only for a week end, and your husband would really appreciate it.
2007-07-30 11:38:10 · answer #5 · answered by WVPV07 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
i'm like you. i don't like guests either. don't know why, it just makes me uncomfortable. like i can't be myself and i have to entertain them 24/7. you aren't really being unreasonable. you've offered an alternative. i don't know how bad the problems are so how about just one night? you may surprise yourself. if they're young, it's not as bad as if they were adults. maybe your husband just wants to remain close with his brothers.just think of how cool the boys will think this is, hanging out with their older bro.
2007-07-30 11:39:45 · answer #6 · answered by racer 51 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋