HEY You! Please help with my stress!!!!?

Question

!!! I need some advice please?
Heres the situation. I'm 26 female and hes 25. We met on eharmony back in april. He lives an hour and 45mins away from me. We've been on three dates. Talk, and text eachother throughout our day. He wants to move fast and I dont. He gets annoyed when I cant meet up with him because I have errands and stuff to do after work, and thats a far drive to do after 5pm. I'm not ready for sex with him yet. It seems so difficult already. I think hes awesome and cute and funny and handsome. We click when we talk, he lets me know everything hes thinking. I'm having issues with him living far away from me. I havent told him that. Just seems we cant be a normal couple if he lives an hour and 45 mins away from me. I'm guarded with my feelings still with him. My question to u is what should I do, and what do you think i'm doing??

Answer 1

Sorry, but don't do it. Take it slow. Let him know that. If he respects that it will answer your question. if he doen't want to he was not the right guy.

Answer 2

You should recognize blessings when you have them staring you in the face. You're expecting this guy to be perfect for you because eHarmony has guaranteed you all of these amazing points of compatability, but deep inside you're not feeling this "perfection" link, at least not yet. And you're feeling somewhat pressured to move faster than you feel comfortable with (and why not, the people at eHarmony say you're both perfect for each other, so what's the hold up?)...so this is causing you some stress. The distance between you is your greatest blessing in this equation...it gives you the breathing room you need to see how you feel about this guy without feeling smothered, to assess whether your feelings for each other can deepen or if you'd rather not pursue this any further. Your discomfort is just your instinct talking to you, telling you to insist on moving at your own speed. So, don't go against yourself because some computer program said so. People have been deciding their own compatablity for centuries without the aid of computers, and yeah, a lot of the time they've failed. But they've always maintained responsibility for their own successes and failures because they have a vested interest in the outcome....it's just another algorithmic equation to the computer, and it has nothing to gain or lose. Humans are infinitely more complex than that, and deep down you know it, so listen to yourself. Slow things down to a human pace you can handle, and evaluate things for yourself. You may be great together, but right now it all feels artificial to you...because it is. Good luck to you.

Answer 3

I've found that some guys pour their heart out in order to help push the woman to have a fast emotional connection with them, which usually leads to sex. If this is how he's behaving, he's probably not being genuine and has already used this strategy before. Women in his area have already figured him out. Now it's your turn. The spilling of the guts should'nt come easy, if so, there's probably something wrong with him mentally or he just wants to get in your pants. You're worth more than that.

Answer 4

if he wants to move fast, and gets frusterated just because you are busy, and isn't willing to sacrafice some time to just come run your errands with you, then you should have a serious talk with him. explain tohim that you don't want to move fast, period. there is no leeway, there is no way around it, and that if he respects you at all, he'll understand that and back off. also explain that it's childish to get frusterated when you are busy. you are a grown adult, and like all other adults, there come times when you are going to be busy. then tell him how you are having trouble with him being far away.
it might take a lot of work, but you could work this out. but he has to know exactly where you stand.

Answer 5

if you say hes so honest with you, i think the least you could do is tell him how you feel with the distance...
maybe you could spend a week end at his house... no need to have sex or anything - maybe you should make that clear...
i think if you were looking on eharmony then you prob dont have much time to look for ppl so you should give him a chance!

Answer 6

i totally understand why you wouldn't want to drive after 5pm, but if you're feeling that the driving distance between you two is an issue then you definatly need to say that to him. Tell him how you feel about everything and he should be understanding; if not, then you deserve better!

Answer 7

Long distance relationship doesn't work, especially when guy tries to move too fast. Go find someone closer and better, there's plenty of fish in the sea.

Answer 8

DO NOT PURSUE ANY LONGER.

Hate to be the one to say not to go with it but don't

-red light one...he is younger then you I know age doesnt matter but guys mature slower then women.
-2- goes with one he complains when you dont go see him...well while you run your errands then he can drive to you...if he complains now what is gonna happen later when you get further in the relationship..

dont get so involved that later the distance is going to break you apart and then you are going to fight with yourself because you "invested" time with him

long distance rarely works

Answer 9

it sounds like you are not ready for a relationship with this guy so you should take it slow. if he cares or respect you he will understand when you tell him your not ready for a relationship with him just yet and that right now you just want to be friends and get to know him first before anything. if your guarded with your feeling with him right now means you just don't trust him just yet. you don't know what's he like when your not around. just don't do something your not ready for. good luck.

Answer 10

Tell him how you feel and a pace that's good enough for you. Ask him if he's compatible with that. Eharmony is all about that compatibility thing right?