dad molesting us?

Question

me and my sister dont know what to think. he hasnt actually done something but all these years he was not the touchy type, then all of the sudden he always wants to hug us, kiss us, make us sit on his lap, and do all these touchy things that he never has done before. and he always looks at us like studies r faces, and stuff. then we recently went to hawaii and when we were in r bathing suits he always tried to look at us. and when we went snorkling im pretty sure he was looking at r butts and its just so wierd how all of the sudden he "wants" us. is it just us or can this be leading to a molestation?

i cant tell my mom because she wont want to believe it and she will probably tell my dad. i am 12 and my sister is 16.

Answer 1

I can't say really. But you do need to tell him that the way he touches you makes you feel uncomfortable and tell him that you don't like the way he looks at you. But if YOU think it's gonna lead to something more then the thing for you all to do is tell someone so something can be done before anything starts. Don't be afraid to tell somebody, maybe they can get some help or something.

Answer 2

Molestation, you need to stay away and if he touches you in a wrong way you need to go to your doctor first so he can see evidence and let the doctor take action against him, remember it could be an illness and its not your fault. Never ever blame your self for someone elses mishaps. Why I say go to your doctor is because when something like this happens and you tell your doctor, the officials will believe it more coming from a professional and keep you out of arms way. Meaning that if he has done something wrong the doctor will be able to tell by your actions and other signs that he could only determine. I am glad you are seeking help, I am terrible sorry that you are going through this, and hope that in the long run it will change for you and become a stronger person. If you need someone just to vent you can email me. YOU ARE VERY BRAVE :O) Debi good luck

Answer 3

It very well could be. It could be a number of things. Did he recently lose someone close or find out he was sick? A lot of times that can bring on the want to hug, kiss and look at your children more often. He could be staring at your faces because he wants to remember how you look. Don't assume anything until it really gets alarming. If him wanting you to sit on his lap really bothers you then just don't do it. Just tell him that you're getting older and just don't feel comfortable sitting on your fathers lap anymore. If something does happen then go to athorities immediately. DO NOT HESITATE. Your father should not be touching you in any way other then a loving kiss on the cheek.

Answer 4

That is a bit odd to be one way and then the complete opposite. Well, it may just be weird for you that he is now affection but then you may be right about him having thoughts My advice would be to just watch your back and try to always at least have your sister around when its just your dad. The first time he does ANYTHING inappropriate you tell your mom or another adult. If you trust your mom I would also try to get her to talk to him. Have her ask him whats up with all this touchy stuff I think it may be weird for them since you have never been like this before. She knows him well and probably gauge his feelings.

Answer 5

I think all your suspicions are correct. You don't say what age you are, but if you have just gone through puberty, then he is sexually attracted to you. You need to push him away when he does the touchy/feely things. You need to not sit in his lap anymofe. You need to show him that you expect privacy.

Whether or not you accept his advances, he will try to advance things. If there is a mom in the picture, tell her right away. If she does nothing or if there is no mom, you need to tell a teacher or some other adult. Dad is making his moves and he will not stop at the overly affectionate moves. You might try both of you confronting him about his behavior and tellling him that it has to stop. Remind him that you are his daughters and not eye candy for him to ogle.

Answer 6

It's entirely possible that your father has realized you are growing up and is worried he'll lose you in a few years (hence the "empty nest syndrome"). It may be as simple as that, but if you're concerned, you should definitely talk to someone about it.

If you trust and feel comfortable with your dad, you might ask him about the changes -- that you've noticed he's different and why he thinks this is so. If not, your school guidance counselors are always there to help with these issues.

I strongly recommend, if you feel uncomfortable at all, talking to a professional. Find the school counselor you trust the most, and bring this to light with them. They have the training and experience to best judge the situation and help if you need it.

Answer 7

I really don't know what to think, but what you're describing (especially the complete about face in showing affection) is troubling enough that I think you and your sister should discuss it with a school counselor. I would be interested in knowing what your father would answer if you asked him a direct question (preferrably in the presence of your mother) like "Dad, why all of a sudden do you like to hug and kiss us and want us to sit on your lap?"

Answer 8

Well if you are alert and ready to report anything that is making you feel abused--you can survive alright. Does mom know?? Can you have a serious conversation with her--just ask her to WATCH his behavior?? Moms can sometimes be helpful--or in denial--like they don't want to make dad mad--so if she is of NO help--you still need to be alert and do the following--never be alone with him. Write down the exact date and time of an abuse--or touching. There has got to be a school nurse to talk to and trust. Stay calm--stay alert--don't fall apart and allow this stuff to happen. Maybe dad is just proud of you two and he seems to be looking when all he is doing is admiring you two. I don't know. Just be alert and be mature--talk with mom in a clear conversation--in private--no silly comments or FALSE accusations. Just the facts. Good luck

Answer 9

you might want to ask him to lay off the touching and that it make you feel so uncomfortable now that your getting older, if he stops then is was just you, but if he doesnt, then something might be wrong, different molestors like different ages, so it may been that he was waiting for you to get older, how does he make you touch him is what counts, email me and tell me, a dad should never want you to sit in the middle of his lap, or do you feel him getting hard, sorry if your a real young kid with me talking like this, and have he only done this in private, and tell your sister to tell if you cant make a pack to tell if someone hurt you two, till then email me i will know what to do, i have to know more about the situation.

Answer 10

This is really a tough one. The best advice I could give you would be talk to your mother, explain your concerns and ask her to watch and see what she thinks. Even if she doesn't want to believe it she may watch. If he should touch either of you inappropriately tell a teacher or school counselor. Keep in mind, he may just have hit a point where he realizes he hasn't paid much attention to the two of you and is trying to make up for it.