my dad treats me unfairly compared to my sister and always brings me down... how do I fix this?

Question

I go to an alternative school and my dad calls it the reject school and it makes me feel like I am not worth nothing and it hurts really bad.. I used to be an A student and then things at home went down hill and my grades slipped for a year and a half and I was a d- average and after I went to the alternative school I started getting A's I am an A student now and my mom congradulated me and my dad didnt say anything supportive at all when he saw my report card... He never says anything supportive about my school and I feel like I'm not even his daughter, how do I cope with this and or change it?

My mom already knows and has no idea on how to deal with it either we have tried talking to him and I dont want to switch back to regular school because I used to be picked on severly and I didnt have many friends but I am comfortable at this school and I like the enviroment and the people I hang out with....

I know he's my dad for one, like biologically. I am the youngest. I am 16 and will be 17 in Nov. my sister is 19.
I was also wondering if maybe he is treating me this way because I look alot like my mom and they are having issues at this moment because she started drinking again and thats when things went downhill at home.

Answer 1

Talk to him!

Answer 2

This is a tough question, simply because you need to let your father know that what he is doing, or not doing is hurting your feelings, however, you must do it in a way that does not disrespect him as your father. First I would try talking to your mom. She is obviously very proud of you for getting your grades up. Maybe ask her to speak with your father about showing some support to you in your different school. If that doesn't work, then maybe your dad needs to hear it straight from you. The next time he knocks you down, you look him right in the eye and say, "Dad, that hurts my feelings when you say that." And walk away. Don't stick around. Tell him often though, and maybe he won't come right out and praise you, but he may stop putting you down all the time. To actually get him to give you some praise is a harder task I'm afraid. You can't make someone do something they don't want to do. Its sad when a parent favors a sibling. And I know it hurts, because I have a sister too, and she gets EVERYTHING handed to her while i have to bust my butt. But, I'm almost 30 years old now, and I must say that my earnings are worth more than what she's been given. Stick it out. If Dad doesn't come around, no matter how much it hurts, maybe you just need to ignore him and take pride in the fact that you DO get good grades and that you are a good person.

Answer 3

You should take into account that people are not perfect. Your father sounds like a very closed-minded person and someone without a lot of tact. He probably has no idea how his words hurt you and even if you (or anyone) did tell him, he probably wouldn't care or wouldn't be able to change.

The solution is to thicken your own skin about it and realize that you have someone like this in your life. You can accept him for who he is and just move along. When you get older, it will matter less and less what he thinks or says or does, because you'll be making your own way in the world. When that time comes, if you still feel that you need to address his behavior, then you can approach him from a position of strength. You can address the situation knowing that you have done your best and if he can't respect that, then he isn't respecting you, and he needs to either change his behavior or realize that he is being a stick-in-the-mud and driving his child away.

No, it's never going to be easy, but for right now you are best served to cope with it and keep doing the best you can with yourself. In the end, it won't be your place to say, "I failed because my father treated me like dirt." You can only say, "I failed because I chose to fail." It's a lesson in self-reliance, and whether he realizes it or not, that's the lesson he's teaching you right now.

Congratulations on getting A's. I'm glad to hear you've taken your studies seriously! Best wishes - the Cat.

Answer 4

If the new school offers all the benefits of a better social setting and grades are good--it does not matter what dad thinks--just ignore it--stop talking to him about it. Nobody is saying that all men are the classy individuals we hoped they would be. Why your dad makes those statements is not known--what is known is that you are doing better and happy--you won't be there forever--just do good, get done, move on and do not expect dad to offer any support or kind comments. Just don't expect anything---don't look for anything from him--keep your conversation with him on other things that are stress free. You can't change him--HE has to change--but insensitive comments and disrespect are hard to accept--what a creepy "dad "behavior. The bright side says you are happy and will probably do well in later years--just be true to yourself and be determined to be responsible for your own life. I am proud of you--happy to hear you are doing better again--smile and good luck

Answer 5

Kinda go on 'separation' from him for a while. If you stop expecting anything from him, he will sense it and stop making annoying comments.

You are extremely good at self-expression; I got a clear picture of your situation from your few well-chosen words here. Have you thought about your career choices in the future? Do you think you'd like to write for your school paper or submit articles to the local free newspapers? You could even put together little scripts for local cable TV.

Your dad is going to become less and less important in your life as time goes on. You may have already gotten the best of what you need from him; be polite, but don't feel you have to try to get into his head or share everything with him any more.

He'll come around in his own time; just step back for a while.

Answer 6

it somewhat is nice that Kris isn't the single working for place of work, yet as a public determine and sister of may well be man or woman assuming the utmost place of work interior the land, her recommendations-set and all beside NOYNOY would be magnified 10x. it somewhat is in this context that Kris might desire to then behave and act as professional as ever. Kris is an smart man or woman, she might desire to apply her intelligence and wit in wooing greater votes for NOY. Given her media mileage and super benefit as a multi media megastar, Kris has each and all of the skill to safeguard herself and vindicate herself from her detractors. So how might desire to she be taken care of unfairly? There are even situations like the single now with Ruffa Gutierrez, who has left the station that has stored her after her failed marriage, and her mom, Annabel Rama, who constantly says what she thinks even while needless to say she is interior the incorrect, that she says sorry even regardless of the indisputable fact that she has accomplished not something incorrect. You gotta admit, she's greater first rate than maximum folk, particularly greater suitable than those people who do issues just to get interest. Kris does not might desire to try this, she has a lot of interest.

Answer 7

Next time dad wants to say something hurt full just remind him if things hadn't gone bad at home. I would still be an A student. But remember your better than that. So keep up the good work.

Answer 8

Don't just cope with it, do something about it. My suggestion would be to look him in the eye and tell him how you feel. Let him know that you look up to him and that part of your happiness as his daughter requires that he be supportive of you and you need it. Hopefully, that will snap him back to reality. I'm sure that he loves you, you're his child. He probably doesn't know how to deal with the situation that you're in and needs some instruction. Remember, there is no owner's manual for children, he's learning as he goes. Help him to help you.

Answer 9

Coming from someone who's the "other sister" (I'm the youngest and was "Daddy's Little Girl". Please don't take the what looks like favoritism out on your sister. My sister kind of resented me for being the one who got the attention - but I didn't ask for it. I was just born last. Also - don't listen to your father's belittling. It sounds like he has issues of his own to deal with. Let the comments go in one ear and out the other.
Congratulations for the A's!!!!!!! Keep up the good work and God Bless!!!!

Answer 10

Your Father should know better. Shame on him!

Talk to your parents. Tell your father just how you feel. How he's destroying your self esteem when as a parent he should be supporting and inspiring confidence in you.

Don't let him keep you down. Keep up the good work in spite of him!

Good luck. I'm rooting for you.

Answer 11

Wow... try talking to him or telling your mom about it. Maybe you should figure out why he treats you different. Many times father's do this because they think the child is not really there child. Are you the oldest or youngest?