I feel that I'm ready to have sex with my bf, but my religion says to wait until marriage. Should I wait?

Question

My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years now (I'm 19 and in college), and I am still a virgin. We have taken lots of time to discuss our lives together, and sex in general. I do love him, and feel ready to express myself to him in that way, but I am christian, and the bible says to wait untill marriage. He definately respects me, and wants me to wait untill I am ready, no rush; the problem is I feel as if I am, but this problem plagues me.

Should I do what my religion says, or what I feel I want to do in my life?

Answer 1

Unfortunately most of the Christian religions frown upon premarital sex. This is wrong teaching but there is little anyone can do about it because of the strangle hold churches have on people by making things that are not a sin...sin.

I am going to attach several articles to this answer. I would ask that you read them and decide for yourself. This is only from one source...if you would like more information, my email is available with my profile.

Anyone disagreeing with me, read all of the information I have given before you give a thumbs up or down.

Answer 2

Despite what many will say, this is not cut and dried. Your religion tells you to wait. And whether you believe in your religion or have doubts, waiting for marraige is a tough call. First, the Bible tells us to wait, but when the Bible was written, they got married around 13 or 14 so waiting for 19 is a long time. But sex is a very intimate act that is meant to be shared with that special person. If you go ahead when you aren't sure, then you may end up feeling bad about yourself. Have you discussed this with your pastor or someone? They can help you make the right call for you. I admire you for your beliefs and your ability to wait in a day and age where everyone seems to be having sex. You do sound like you are mature enough and have talked this through with your boyfriend....now it is up to you to decide (maybe with help from your church).

Answer 3

I am a Christian and I lost my virginity a few months ago at age 21. I struggled with the same question you're asking for quite a while. I do not regret my decision at all. I don't think it has negatively impacted my relationship with God. Christianity is not about being perfect and its not about harsh rules and legality. We have grace through Jesus because we are all flawed and it's inevitable that we will sin. It's not like you're going out and screwing every guy. You just want to express your love to someone you're in a serious commited relationship with, and that's nothing to feel guilty about. Good luck with whatever you decide! You're a lucky girl to have such a great guy! : )

Answer 4

I say go with your religion. You don't want to regret it after you've done it. Trust me, I know this Mormon who's going through the same thing. Look at it this way, when you're done, you'll have guilt AND you won't have your virginity. Plus, your innocence is a gift that once, you give, it can never be given back. I say play it safe until marriage.

Answer 5

Trust me, even though it might be really hard for you, wait. You have it easy, I think. So many girls are pressured by their boyfriends and yours is patiently waiting for you, whenever you feel you are ready. But how ready is ready, exactly? Ok, say you two have sex before marraige, and then a baby pops out 9 months later. How are you going to take care of it? You would have to drop out of school, spend all your time and energy on that drooling, screaming, not-so-sweet-smelling infant, and ruin your life. What about your goals and dreams? You would throw them all out the window. You need college to get a good job. Without college= no good job. No good job= no good pay. No good pay= poor family. Besides, you wouldn't have a moment to yourself. You would be up most of the night, and just think about the headaches you would get from the baby's high-pitched screaming. Yeow! You wouldn't have time to enjoy yourself. And are you really emotionally ready for that baby? Seriously? It would take everything out of you. You would have to wear baby drool and spit-up, change dirty diapers and get up every few hours to its beck and call. You have your whole life ahead of you. Don't waste it. Have sex after marraige, and it would mean so much more. Trust me. Wait.

Answer 6

This is answer is coming from an adult male. WAIT UNTIL YOUR MARRIED, Trust me when I say this, I dont care how long you have been dating him, a guys ultimate dream is to take a girls virginity. If he loves you that much then he should be willing to wait until your married. Now if you tell him that and then he tries to make up some kind of excuse instead of just excepting what you said then he just wants that cherry.

Answer 7

This is your life do what you think is right, I was in the same situation not too long ago, I chose to do what I wanted (have sex with my boyfriend) I do not regret my choice in the least, I believe that it has strengthened our relationship and taken it to the next level, you only have one life so make the most of it.

Answer 8

The way to answer this is decide how you will feel afterwards. Will you be happy or sad? Will you feel guilty? Can you live with that. Only you can know. But don't think about what you want to do, but about what will make you happy over the long run. So.... go and be happy.

Answer 9

I think you should see if he love you and you love him. Just don't lose the one thing you can't ever get back. Make sure he is the one your heart will tell you and God, do the right things. I think it's your hormones, we all have the urge, but be a respectful young lady.

Answer 10

If you are truly a Christian then you should definitely to what God tells you what to do in his Holy Word. Don't have sex before you are married. You have a great guy if he respects you that much. hang on to him Honey.