Sex Offender?

Question

I just found out that my next door neighbor is a sex offender for molestation and rape of a child under 14 years of age. I feel REALLY uncomfortable about it especially that I have a little girl. Has anyone else gone through this, and what should I do?

Answer 1

Jeez... This is a really bad situation! I have not had one living next door (that I know of) however, I have had one living in my house with me when I was a kid.
Here's what I suggest.... Depending on the age of your little girl (don't forget that pedophiles do not differenciate between boys and girls so, if you have a boy also I would apply this same strategy!), I would talk to her. I would explain to her that the neighbor is not a good person and make sure that she knows to tell you whenever he so much as speaks to her! I would not do this in an alarming way... Just a matter of fact one (you don't want her being scared to be at home!). Explain to her that nobody has the right to touch her and that if anyone does that she has to come and tell you right away. Kids are smart! Just keep lines of communication open. Now, as far as what you can do about the preditor next door.....
Since all crimes are public record, you can get a copy of his charges and attatch them to a petition. I would go to your local elementary school in your neighborhood and start with the PTA meeting there. Ask people to sign to remove him from the neighborhood. These type of perpatrators DEPEND on staying "secret" so, I would let as many people and parents in the neighborhood know that he is there. He will probably become so uncomfortable he will move on his own. I'd be sure to knock on all of the neighbors doors and have them sign the petition and get to know them.... All of you should have open communication with eachother, it will help keep tabs on him.
Find out if he rents.... If so, present the petition to the landlord. If not, present it to the HOA where you live. And lastly, be sure to keep one on file with the police dept.
The key to keeping the kids safe in the neighborhood is communication! No matter what get this out in the open!
Very best wishes to you and your little girl!

Answer 2

I dont think theres much point in moving, sex offenders are everywhere and you could end up next to another one or a worse one.
You havent said his age, could this have been a boyfriend girlfriend situation that was wrong due to her age? I think I would look into all the details of the case and find out just what type of person you are dealing with first. Then you can decide what to do next. You can avoid him at all costs and ensure your daughter does or be vaguely polite and acknowledge him if you have to. You could confront him which would mean he knows you know but apart from that I dont know what else that would do.
As for protecting your daughter, this is such a difficult one, i have a very outgoing daughter who loves men particularly, she is very cuddly with lots of people we know, I try and let her decide who she likes and doesnt like but worry all the time. I just dont leave her alone with people and am very clear about her boundaries she sets within our family, i wont let her brother push further if she says no to anything. Its a very strict rule in our family if any of us stay stop or no or are clearly uncomfortable with something then it stops, regardless of what it is. Hopefully this will empower my children and let them know that if something isnt right for them then they have the right and power to say so.
I read a book years ago about teaching your child to say No, Im sorry i cant remember details or publisher but you may be able to find something similar.
It must be horrible knowing that about your neighbour. I hope you resolve this.x

Answer 3

The only thing you can do if it really bothers you (and it would me) is move. The sad part is unless he is breaking a law living there i.e. living by a school, park he has the right to live there. Also, there are a lot of people la bled sex offenders these days make sure you are not jumping the gun. (example 10 yr old in WA will now be labeled a sex offender for the rest of his life because he smacked a girls butt as a joke).

Answer 4

Yes. I know how you feel. I check our local registry often to see if there are any of them near where I live and I like to look at the pictures to make sure to keep my daughter away from them if we go to the park, mall etc. You have every right to feel that way. I know I do. I just practice caution. You just need to make sure that your daughter and you stay away from him. Even if this is something that happened 20 years ago, things can still happen. It is better to be safe then sorry. However, if your neighbor hasn't done anything to you, there is no reason to call the police. But if he does then you have every right to.

Answer 5

I have a friend who deals with sex offenders at the police. If he is already reported then sex offenders have to go check in every month or so, depending on the charge. If they are smart they wouldn't do anything else. You just have to watch out.

Answer 6

It is the law that all sex offenders have to let the county know where they are living and a map/list is available to all residents. If they did just move then they have to tell you and some counties require that you sign something saying it is ok for the offenders to live there.

You legally can't do anything if he has reported to all the right places. I would suggest approaching him about it. Rather, try talking to him. Meet him, maybe become friends. Then you will kind of know what he is like and the might make you feel better. Don't take your daughter there or introduce them until you feel safe with him. Also, if she is old enough teach her about strangers, maybe don't specify him cause she may draw attention to that and it might anger the guy. Make sure she just stays away from all strangers.

Answer 7

Take a defense class with your little girl- and teach her not to go over to his house, by it, etc. And teach her to scream like hell if he tries to take her. Make sure other parents in the neighborhood are informed. Try not to do that in a gossiping kind of way.

I would personally move- even with defense classes and being informed, there still is a risk. I would not feel safe at all- I have a 14 year old daughter, a 7 year old daughter, a 5 year old son, and I am pregnant- I couldn't stand to live so close to somebody who could violate them.

Answer 8

Have you talked to your local law enforcement about the situation? I hope everyone in the neighborhood knows exactly where the sex offender lives. You know, I think I would try to make the sex offender move if there is anyway you can legally do it. Otherwise I would be moving away from there in order to protect my child.

Answer 9

Consider moving. Always keep an eye on your daughter. Develop a "safety plan" for your family, ie without necessarily being too graphic or specific, let your family members know that to be "safe" in the neighborhood, everyone needs to play or be outside with a trusted buddy or family member. Never go inside another persons house alone. never allow someone to be alone with you, etc.

Answer 10

I'd make sure that everyone around you is aware of the situation, then maybe consider moving since it is illegal to "run" him out of the neighborhood although that would be a lovely idea. I for one am of the opinion that public castration is in order for all sex offenders but I recommend you warn your neighbors and watch your little one like a hawk. Good luck!