A professor was asked to give a talk on "Sex".
When his turn came, he stood, walked to the podium, adjusted the microphone
just so. He said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure . . ."
And he sat back down.
What happened to the guy that went to Mount Olive?
Popeye almost killed him!
A blonde is driving along the highway when Officer JohnnyBloobittyblat sees that as she's driving the car, she's also knitting!
He sounds his siren and flashes his lights but she just carries on driving, so he speeds up and drives up alongside her.
She rolls down the window and he yells 'pull over'
'No, it's a scarf' she yells back.
One day while on patrol, a police officer pulled over a car for speeding. He went up to the car and asked the driver to roll down her window. The first thing he noticed, besides the nice red sports car, was how hot the driver was! Drop dead blonde, the works.
"I've pulled you over for speeding, Miss... Could I see your driver's license?"
"What's a license?" replied the blonde, instantly giving away the fact that she was as dumb as a stump.
"It's usually in your wallet" replied the officer.
After fumbling for a few minutes, the driver managed to find it.
"Now may I see your registration?" asked the cop.
"Registration... What's that?" asked the blonde.
"It's usually in your glove compartment..." said the cop impatiently. After some more fumbling, she found the registration.
"I'll be back in a minute." said the cop and walked back to his car. The officer phoned into the dispatch to run a check on the woman's license and registration.
After a few moments, the dispatcher came back; "Is this woman driving a red sports car?"
"Yes...." replied the officer
"Is she a drop dead gorgeous blonde?" asked the dispatcher
"Yes" replied the cop.
"Here's what you have to do..." Said the dispatcher. "Give her the stuff back, and drop your pants."
"What? I can't do that. It's inappropriate!" exclaimed the cop.
"Trust me... Just do it..." said the dispatcher.
So the cop goes back to the car, gives back the license and registration and drops his pants, just as the dispatcher said.
The blonde looks down and sighs "Oh no... Not ANOTHER breathalyzer!"
2007-07-30 08:31:24 · 10 answers · asked by freakokalam 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
@ hate you
someone sent me these in an email - but i have no idea where they got them from
2007-07-31 02:02:04 · update #1
lmao!!! ahahaha..I really like the last joke, I was eating and nearly choked!! ahhh, thanks for that..loved it!
edit:
I just got it!! the first joke! ahahaha it was funny! thanks again!
2007-07-30 08:43:31 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
They were funny but how do I know you just didn't get them off line and ripped them off as your own . However you gave me a laugh so I'LL GIVE YOU A STAR FOR GIVING ME A LAUGH
2007-07-30 15:38:05 · answer #2 · answered by wee suzie 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
i like the last 1! lol
2007-07-30 15:37:25 · answer #3 · answered by kd 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lol first one was funny the other wernt heres a link to my jokes
http://360.yahoo.com/my_profile-PIUbRA8hbqhWrBoTtO7SPkrHh3iWMtUj;_ylt=Apoaszsupq3K7S41NEP5ajCkAOJ3
2007-07-30 15:48:58 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Heh, heh, funny! ^_^ You deserve a star!
2007-07-30 16:12:28 · answer #5 · answered by A 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow...lol!
okay ill give a star!
2007-07-30 15:38:47 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
THE LAST ONE IS FUNNY
2007-07-30 15:40:34 · answer #7 · answered by ஐ♦♠♣♥abercrombie♥♣♠♦ஐ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IN MY OPINION, THEYRE OK.....
2007-07-30 15:37:07 · answer #8 · answered by 95 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lol thanks for the laugh
2007-07-30 15:57:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
funny stuff! thanks for sahring! lol
2007-07-30 15:35:59 · answer #10 · answered by sunshinembf 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋