Dealing with a Father who has attempted suicide many times.?

Question

I'm very upset and not sure on how to handle this.


My father has been in a mental institution for a couple days now and today is my first day to see and talk with him.



What do a say? How do I handle this? I have SOOO many questions but am not sure if they are appropriate.


Please help.

I'm 22 years old, my dad has had a history of depression, alchohol dependet and self mutilation.



What do i do?

Ok, more details, apparently hes be cutting himself and keeping it hidden from all of us. He is getting help now, but my real question is, he got released, was on meds and then as of this moring, tried it again! I just am at lost.

Answer 1

try this ....go to him make him look at you , tell him he
brought you in this life and that your going to need him through out your life. let him know that if hes not there that it wount be fair to you or the grandkids that someday you want him to be a part of their lifes. tell him through your life theres going to be times your really going to need him and you want him to be there so for his sake and yours tell him to get help and come home so that he can be a part of your life.tell him to quit being selfish and think about you ask him is this why he brought you in this life is to hurt you because thats what hes doing and if something would happen that you will haved to live with it the rest of your life. .. sometimes get stern with your parents can work it makes them really get to thinking. just give it a try and i hope it works good luck.

Answer 2

I was admitted to the psychiatric ward of the hospital about a year and a half ago. I absolutely lived for the part of the day when visitors were allowed. I had a family member or a friend come to visit me every day and that's what kept me going. They did most of the talking, asking if I felt like I was getting good care or just telling me news about the outside world, like what they were up to or some funny story. Sometimes we'd play cards and then talk about the food at the facility. (the food was actually decent)

Just don't be scared and don't ask too many questions. Let your dad tell you what he feel comfortable with. The time for lots of questions is for after he gets out and is feeling a bit stronger.

Answer 3

As for visiting your father, talk to him about whatever comes natural....at this point in time you don't have to discuss any of the whys and wherefores about where he is or why besides he might rather hear how you are doing, what you've done lately how his favorite football team is doing, etc...you know, normal family stuff. Then as for all your questions related to his present situation, maybe the center where he is has like a family counsel ling day or if not maybe you could request an informational meeting with his in center psychiatrist at which time you could ask all the questions that you have and therefore get a better understanding of the whole situation.

Answer 4

Just you being there will mean so much, sit and hold hands, listen if he wants to talk but my guess is if he has just gone in recently he won't be ready for talking yet.
As I am sure you know, depressed people are hard work and seem to see no joy in anything, but believe me he's your dad and you just being there for him works wonders.
You mentions he self harm, is he having any guidance for this, there is always a reason why people self harm, depression is usually secondary to this.

Answer 5

ok. i went thru some what the same with a family member... i finally "got it" at 30 (birth of daughter) I'm 43 now. its not you and its nothing you have said or done..NOTHING. sadly, you're the child of, but.. you can seek thru books, groups, friends support for you and your hurt, disappointment,anger and know that the only one you can change is you. bottom line if he doesn't want help or hasn't reached the bottom of his pain yet then you may need to let him know that you love him, you want to be proactive in any help he needs, but you will not continue to be part of the sadly self absorb life he leads.. 12 step programs can be great if you can find a discussion group..peace

Answer 6

First off your first visit dont talk to him about what he did wrong or ask him why right now. Talk to him like a normal human ask him how he is.What he is eating in there just normal questions . tell him what you been doing to keep busy. Then the next time you go in there tell him you love him and why are you doing this to yourself and us. Explain how you feel and how you feel as his daughter . ANd that you love him and want him to be there in your life forever.

Answer 7

someone at the facility can help you- you dad may be able to handle only so much. let them help you, so that neither of you are stressed out with this. they should be able to answer your questions better than anyone here. ask the nurse on duty when you arrive, if she is unable to help you with your questions then ask for someone who can. do not be afraid to ask anything- that is what they are getting paid for.

Answer 8

Join Al Anon. It is an organization for people like yourself who have to live with alcoholics.

They will destroy everyone who loves them rather than get fixed themselves.

If you are serious about suicide you do not fail.

Its not about love. It is about control so the addiction can be fed.

Answer 9

Act like you normally would around him. Simply ask him how he's doing and things like that. Let him know you're worried about him, love him, and hope he's getting better. Try not to be too nervous, and I hope it goes well when you visit him!

-Kari

Answer 10

Understand him
Talk to him
Try to connect