Children or no Children at my reception?

Question

My wedding is coming up in a few more weeks my husband doesnt want kids to go to our reception only kids from our family and anyone kids from anyone that's going to participate in our wedding. I feel bad telling my friends that there are no kids alowed at the reception especially since I have a two year old daughter myself. Do you agree with my husband? How would you tell people in a nice way that there are no kids allowed?

This inveations have not been made/sent we are going to send them in September.

Answer 1

Your Future husband is correct.
Everyone should know that you shouldn't bring kids to a wedding reception.
You don't have to tell them. In the invitation, should only be
Mr & Mrs. Whatever ~or~ Whoever and Guest. That is hint enough. If you allow any of your friends to bring a kid, then the other person that knew better than to bring theres will be like "Well, I should've brought my kids too"!
This is a wedding not a Kids party. Kids are too loud, and they run around too much, which will have there parents run around them and constantly tell them to settle down. Then nobody will have fun.
It's hard to say it, but you have to.
It's your day.... People should please you, not the other way around !

Answer 2

Of course - no kids at a wedding reception is pretty standard, so people will not be put off by it. Just indicate on the invitation the number of people invited and name them - Mr. So-and-So and Guest, for example. You can include a generic apology that children will not be accomodated if you would like, but that should not be necessary because it is so common to leave kids out of the reception. Don't worry about there being some close family children - people understand that planning and hosting a wedding involves alot of different considerations.

However, since marriage is all about family - and childern are a big part of family - I like the idea of having children at the reception.

At our wedding, we had a kids room - and hired a few baby sitters. We got some really cheap games, coloring books and put on videos - they ate really cheap kids food - and ate ice cream for desert. If the spare room is available, and you can afford a children's menu and a few babysitters - I think that it is a great idea, sends a good message, and the kids really enjoyed having their own private party room.

Of course we did not have too many rowdy drunken partiers - so if that's an issue, you may want to spare the kids having to deal with that.

Answer 3

As much as people are insisting there's only one answer to this question (though as you can see they disagree on which self-evident only answer there is), the fact is this is a choice you and your intended need to make together before the invitations go out and based on your mutual priorities. Have children or don't, either is perfectly proper. The one thing I can tell you is that the answer MUST be consistant across the board.

If you are going to have your daughter and the children of all the family and the wedding party there, then be prepared for a huge mutiny when the other guests arrive at a wedding where no children are allowed only to find...a dozen small children there and quite welcome.

The ones who had to get babysitters will resent the extra expense when other childen are welcome. The ones who dislike having children at weddings will be annoyed because the word had gone around that there wouldn't be children and now they have to watch out for little ones running around, after all. By the end of the evening, everyone will have a reason to resent this unfortunate compromise.

Either invite children or don't. Don't go by half measures in this or everyone will be annoyed.

Answer 4

Personally, I agree with your husband. I did not have any children under the age of 13 at my wedding. You want your guests to have a good time, not that having their kids wouldn't let them have fun, but the adults deserve a night out too without chasing their kids around all night. When you send out your invites, just make sure to write on the envelope "Mr. & Mrs. Smith". That should clear up any confusion. And if people call and ask if their kids are included, just kindly say that you and your husband to be are not having any children there except for those participating in the wedding party. I think you will find most people will accept this with a smile, and for those who don't...well you can't make everyone happy and it is YOUR day and you make the rules. =)

Answer 5

I was just married in May and we did the same thing. We only allowed the children who were in the wedding (flower girls and ring bearers) and cousins who lived in another state who had babies...we would never expect them to leave their babies at home over night. But the children who were 6 years of age and up - the parents just found a babysitter. And if they were offended by their children not being invited, oh well. I'm sorry, but if you have an evening planned and don't want screaming children running around, then you have that right. Just tell them tastefully that you only have room to accommodate for a certain number of guests and feel it would be better to have an adult reception only. You can also tell them that this would be a great opportunity for them to enjoy a nice evening having dinner, dancing and a few drinks without running around after their kids all night!

Answer 6

I agree with your husband. Although, the children should be allowed to attend the ceremony. But if you're going to keep children from the reception, you need to keep "all" children out of it.

The reason for this is because people want to drink, dance and have a good time. When they do this, they tend to forget their kids as if there was someone else there to supervise them. They allow kids to misbehave or run around disturbing other guests. I've seen it happen and it's irritating. Also, kids will get either tired or bored and can't help but act out.

You might want to have your baby there at the beginning of the reception, but then she should go to the sitter's. She's going to be miserable if she's there too long.

The last wedding we attended had on their RSVPs "No Children." It worked out fine. If someone questions you, just say "yes- it's no children, sorry." Be firm. After all, it is your wedding.

Congratulations!

Answer 7

well, the only time it's really acceptable to exclude some children but not all children is when you invite only the kids from the wedding party- but here's the big question. What did it say on the invitations? Did you invite people "and family?" and did they respond that they were all coming?
It's really tacky to change your tune a few weeks before the wedding AND it's really insulting to your guests to say- oh well, you're not family so you're kids aren't invited.
You have to make a choice. All kids or no kids. And that's only if you haven't invited the kids already.

Answer 8

If your wedding is only a few weeks away, it's really too late to ask people not to bring their kids to the reception - especially the out of town guests. People with children need to arrange for sitters (an additional expense), and on such short notice, they may just decide not to come at all. Also, to be completely honest, many people will just be offended. No offense to your husband, but I don't agree with him on this one.

Here's an idea: If you really don't want people to bring kids to your reception, you could pay a couple of trusted, responsible teenage friends or family members to entertain your guests' kids during the reception. In general, if you want to put restrictions like this on guests, it's a good idea to provide a suitable work-around for them.

Congratulations on the upcoming wedding!

Answer 9

It's really hard to say. Of course it should be up to you and your husband-to-be whether you want kids running around, want to feed them catered food, etc...but I know from experience that when you opt out on the kids you will probably alienate someone, especially if there are family/participating kids allowed.

You could explain to anyone who voices a complaint that it was a financial consideration.

Just expect some of your friends with kids might not show up. Even if they're not offended, babysitting is tough to find nowadays.

Good luck with the wedding!

Answer 10

For the most part children will act like children and, the longer the evening goes on and, the more tired they get, the more disruptions you will have .
It is your Husbands wedding too , now would be a good time to sit down and make a decision together just like you would want to in the future.
If you decide on not having children perhaps some arrangements could be made for babysitting .