How can you say that you have already moved on? I feel like I just can't forgive and forget...I've been in a long realtionship with my ex...we broke up because he really is an A**Hole...and now he tells me to rest in peace (what a real jerk!)...i know he is just so guilty...honestly, I am in a new relationship now with a great man. However, thoughts about my ex just keeps on bothering me...I desperately need words of encouragement.
2007-07-30 05:04:19 · 23 answers · asked by ♥♥♥MiSSY♥♥♥ 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Thanks guys! All of you made my day...You are all right. I know i just needed more time...honestly, even if I still think about him, I know and I'm sure that I don't want to get back with him. All the bad things and bad words he's telling about me now just proves that he isn't a nice person...
2007-07-30 05:35:54 · update #1
I know right now you can't forgive or forget but it will come to you. I was in the same situation, i was with my ex for 8 yrs and then i just had to break it off, he cheated on me and thought i was gonna take his sh*t.... He did a lot of stuff to hurt me when we broke up.... But you are in a relationship with a good man, don't blow it.... Ur ex isn't worth ur time or your thoughts, and yes i know it is very easy to be telling you this but would you rather be stuck with a**hole who will never appreciate you or thank god you were in his life.... The guy i am with right now is the most amazing guy, he does everything in his power to make me happy.... This new relationship you have is a blessing, don't let it go for someone who isn't worth it.... Everytime you feel your thoughts drift off to your ex, think about everything that he did to you, all the things that he put you through.... Do what i did when me and my ex broke it off, act like he doesn't exist, don't return calls or texts or e-mails.... Act like he is nothing to you, feel nothing for him... Don't bother in even hating him, just feel nothing for him.... To hate i to feel and if you act like he is nothing to you then you will eventually feel nothing for him also... Trust me that will so work.... I know heartbreaks are tough, but sometimes they're are for the better...
2007-07-30 05:20:36 · answer #1 · answered by ivi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was also in a long relationship and when I got pregnant my boyfriend moved to another country - can you believe it!?
About 4 months later I met an amazing guy who was willing to accept me just as I was - pregnant and all! I still loved my ex and didn't know if it was a good idea to get into a relationship so soon. After a lot of thinking I decided to give the guy a chance and just take things slow. It's been almost 7 months now and my baby is born. I saw my ex about 2 weeks ago and I realised that I will always love him deep down - I meen we share a beutiful baby daughter. But I will never take him back because I know I can not trust or depend on him. I do love the guy I am with now and I am going to marry him. Good luck!
2007-08-07 09:32:27 · answer #2 · answered by Rissiepit 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had the same problem for about three years (don't worry, I doubt it lasts that long for normal people), but I finally got over the boy I couldn't let go when I decided that it was only going to hurt me and the people I'm involved with... The realization really blew my mind that it wasn't fair to my current boyfriend that I couldn't get over an old flame... And, if anything, it was compassion for the new guy and a want to set the mess straight that fixed my problem up. I don't really know if this is any help to you, but I want you to know that it is possible to get over your ex... it just takes time and some effort. So don't give up hope, because there's definitely some there for you.
2007-07-30 12:12:45 · answer #3 · answered by Raine Storm 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you're normal! Don't worry about those old thoughts, they will come and go for a while,- it's all part of the adjustment part of life. If it gets too tough to handle, then just tell your new man, that you need a little bit of space, or cut down the time you spend with your new guy to adjust your thoughts about the olde guy. It's okay, most men understand that women need some space to adjust. There's nothing wrong with you- you just need some time!! It'll get better- just don't drive down any of the roads you used to with the ex- don't play the same radio station you use to play with the ex- don't listen to the Cd's or watch the same movies that you used to watch with the ex- you need to give yourself a new identity and by making small changes you'll see that your thoughts will eventually change- it's slow- change isn't like how we change our socks- it's takes some time to change!!! cheer up- you're strong you can get through this!!
Good luck and God Bless!
2007-07-30 12:11:20 · answer #4 · answered by babysteppin2003 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get a nice strong bag, preferably canvas. Fill it full of lightbulbs and old dishes. Put his picture on it and take a stick or bat and beat the sh*t out of it. The breakables are extremely satisfying to hear and feel smash. Do this in a basement or outside. It's messy.
Or, take his picture, put it on a pillow and use your fists, broom, bat stick and pound it until you are physically drained.
You need to deal with your anger before you can truly move on. I think doing this physically helps speed up the process.
I'm glad you have a new man, be careful not to let the junk from the old one taint the relationship.
Best wishes for a happy future!
2007-07-30 12:27:00 · answer #5 · answered by suz665 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey you deserve better than someone treating you bad. If this new guy is good to you just go with it. If thoughts of you ex keep popping into your head just remember he's and A** and you're way too good for that and him so just give it some time and you will know you're better off in the long run.
2007-08-07 00:43:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i've been there too and the lo0nger you wait the more the feelings go away. I have recently been in that situation. I had thoughts of the ex that dug under my skin. This was all in October. Now, me and my current fiancee are happier than ever and i have no thoughts of my ex at all: whether bad or good. Give it time, if you are in love with someone else, those feelings will go away!!!
2007-08-07 12:01:51 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Been there and done that one girlfriend. Eventually you will forget. I was married to my soul mate 4 years, gave birth to my second child before those feelings disappeared. There is just something about those bad boys that get ahold of our hearts and its hard to cut that off even though you know they do not deserve one minute of your time and thought. Just hang in there, concentrate on Mr. Wonderful, and do not forget to thank the new guy every time he does something good to or for you. Just being in your life should be something that deserves your thankfulness. Focus on the present and the good, time will take care of the rest. It really does.
2007-08-07 11:54:27 · answer #8 · answered by Mom of 2 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's natural for us to dwell on the ex, no matter how much of a jerk he was... just appreciate and realize that you now have a good man. The best way i think is to think about how much your ex was a jerk and how much he hurt u and those awful things he said to you. He isn't even worth a second thought anymore.
2007-08-07 11:08:04 · answer #9 · answered by Tears are *Diamonds* 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel. The heartbreak that we go through makes us who we are today and effects our thoughts and reactions in present relationships BUT as hard as it is we must keep reminding ourselves that not all guys are the same and the new relationship doesn't deserve the baggage and negative energy of a past relationship. All you can do is learn the mistakes that you had control over from that past relationship and don't do them in the relationship you are in now. Good Luck~
2007-07-30 12:10:01 · answer #10 · answered by HotJewels 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋