my mam doesn't acknowledge that i'm unhappy even though i keep telling her?

Question

i'll try keep this short...
during my childhood i moved around quite a lot coz my mam kept getting different jobs. i accepted this as part of life, but we've moved around so much that i've lost a part of me.
i've moved places like 4 times now, and i've just had enough. all my friends live ages away, my new school expects too much from me, and i'm surrounded by nasty people who put me down.
i've told her countless times that i'm unhappy with everything that's going on but she just tells me to accept it and grow up. i can't accept it though. i can't stand being so down every day, but she wants me to feel happy but i can't. i can't be happy just coz she wants me to.
i've told her that i self-harm but she asks for a "rational" reason. i can't get any more rational than that.
i would live with my dad but he hardly has any money to look after himself, let alone me.
i feel like i can't be happy even if i tried coz all my confidence has gone and i feel like i can't get it back

Answer 1

Hi
I'm sorry that you have got to the stage of self harming. The rational explanation is that you are desperately unhappy inside and harming eases the pain for a short time. You really need outside help now before this becomes a pattern throughout your life. Is it possible to go and see your GP or even the practise nurse? You need to tell someone whats going on with you so you can be helped. Your Mom needs someone to help her understand that her lifestyle has caused you to be like this and give her guidance on how to talk to you and help you. If you went to live with your Dad he would get extra money for you, and it might be worth trying this to see if you feel better emotionally. Seriously though you are at the stage of needing proper help to have a bright future. Even if you just had someone to talk to that understood your side of things may help you to feel better. You could even call childline for advice. I really hope my advice has given you some options and you can find a way through this. Take care x

Answer 2

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Answer 3

Your mother is being quite insensitive. She just seems to want the 'problem' to go away and isn't actively helping you to come to terms with your new situation. When you move house, its the parents responsibility to make sure that all is well i.e. that you have friends, that your school is a good one, that you are progressing well. Its hard moving but there are usually signs that your children are settling in well. If they aren't you do have to intervene. I think a good place to start is school. Who is being nasty to you and why does the school expect so much? I think you need to speak to one of the teachers there and ask them to help you settle in. It is part of their job and they do have a 'duty of care'. If you really can't bear it, remember that your father would get financial help if you lived with him as you are still at school so don't rule it out. Otherwise, be sure and not hurt yourself as that will only make things much worse. Instead, throw yourself in to trying to make your situation work with your mum helping. Give it 6 more months of good effort. If that doesn't work, speak to your dad and see if he could help. Good luck.

Answer 4

When you are old enough you can do what you want, in the interim period live with it, nobody said life is easy.
As for telling her that you self harm, it sounds more of a threat than a cry for help.
Perhaps if she was to move to another area you could use the same threat again to obtain what you want.
There are kids in the world being tortured, molested, starved, abused and sold; count your blessings and look at the positives!

Answer 5

Hey Ben I'm really sorry to hear that. Well for me I get made fun of at school too. Well I am skinny. And a lot of people say oh my god your skinny. Or you are a skinny twig. And what hurts the most is that they call me anorexic. That really blows me away. But I'm just skinny. And I am proud to be skinny you know. Well just ignore everyone Ben. Try to tell someone right away. But you wouldn't want to be a snitch. But you have to if you really hate this. I'm sorry that your mum doesn't understand. Just try to be strong in your heart. Also with your dad too. That really hurts me too. Well be strong like I said and maybe you'll at least have a friend that cares about you. Just like me.

Answer 6

it seems your mum just really doesnt understand you.....this is a shame but its one of those things you cant do anything about.

soon you will be old enough to sort things out for yourself.....you just have to remain positive until that day comes...where you move in with a friend or whatever.

you need to talk to someone.....other than your parents....someone who can help you rebuild you confidence ....wish i could help you more...

try and keep your chin up and stay positive.....surround yourself with happiness.

Answer 7

If you are already doing self harm, look up 'borderline personality disorder' and see if it sounds like you. You could also try talking to a councellor at your school.

Answer 8

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