When my husband and I got married none on his family wanted to be there. Neither his dad or brother would stand up with him so his uncle did. His mom and did not want to come to the wedding, but since we envited friends of the family they came to been seen only. His sister and brother refused to come. I have been told by many people that they talk about me behind my back. They refuse to ask us on family vacation when they invite is brother and sister. I have been as nice as I can to them. We loaned them a fridge when theirs went out and it took 2 years to get it back. They parked thier camper in our driveway for the winter without even a thank you. They go and get there other grandchild but will not even come and see ours. They can drive past our house on the way to his sisters and not stop. I have been band from there house before because I wanted to know why they hate me. They say my husband should have married this other girl and bring her up alot. My marriage is in trouble. Help!!!
2007-07-30 03:30:27 · 14 answers · asked by Confused 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I have grown a spine and told my husband, that I am not putting up with it any more. I will not go to family events or anything else. He just keeps telling me I can't do anything about it, but excepts me to go over there and feel like sh*t. I have asked him to talk to them and he says it will do no good. So I feel he is backing them all the way. His mother will make rude comments to me in front of anyone and thinks it is ok. We had a b-day party for our daughter in March and she made a comment about me not know how to cook, I told her to get the hell out of my house and his side of the family thought I was joking, I wasnt. They have told our kids that they will come and get them but never show up, but the drive 8 hours to see thier other grandkid, we live 15min away. My parents are a big part of our kids life and I feel that we have to depend on them for alot, and that is not fair. His parents treat the neighbor kids better then they do ours.
2007-07-30 04:45:09 · update #1
my goodness I think you should forget about them and don't even try to communicate they are effecting you negatively and thats no good be positive and and let your positivity overcome thier negativity ..........move on
2007-07-30 03:38:26 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stop being nice! I know it sound rude, but sometimes that's what you got to do. Next time, let them look for the fridge else where. Don't let them park their camper on your driveway. If your husband gets on the way, just explain to him that you're sick of it and let him choose between his parents and HIS family. He needs to learn how to stand up for his wive and kids. Make family friends outside of his family and try to be happy. Do you really need them in your life? I don't think so. Many people survive without their own parents, I'm not even talking about the in-laws.
I hope that you and your husband can work it out.
2007-07-30 03:42:09 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your marriage isn't in trouble unless you allow YOUR marriage to B in trouble.
1. There is always two sides to every story.
2. A marriage ceremony should not prompt uninvited family war. So, if you have intruded any personal insecurities into the family relationships prior or not it's never too late to work on that.
3. Live in the truth...and deal with relationship issues as they arise and only if they are real and not based on assumption or need for hubby to detach from family and cease to exist beyond U.
If these things are occuring as a fact:
"They say my husband should have married this other girl and bring her up alot."
"Were you at our wedding because I do recall you being there and/or recieving an invitation?" with calm....it's time to grow a spine.
Added: Then if you've set your boundaries and not blown things out of proportion while doing so then it needs to go no further than that on your part alone. Now, if a situation arises you and your husband need to deal with it via family meeting called by both of you and encourage family spirit. You've heard of team spirit when it comes to sports well this is no different. Think positive......don't fight to keep family apart - fight to keep it together respectively.
2007-07-30 04:09:14 · answer #3 · answered by GoodQuestion 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sweety, your marriage isn't in trouble. Don't let these @ssholes control you. And they have a lot of balls asking you for favors without so much as a "thank you". You're far too nice and they don't deserve you. It's also very messed up that they won't come and see their grandchild. They also have to realize that your husband married you for a reason, he loves you, not that other girl and the decision is not up to them. This isn't the middle east, if you want to pick husbands and wives for your children, move there! Don't let it bother you or get to you. I just can't believe how rude and inconsiderate some people are. I believe in Karma honey and they have it coming. Also, you can be just as mean as they are. If they ask you for a favor tell them to go somewhere else. You don't have to take their crap. Give them a real reason to hate you.
2007-07-30 03:37:50 · answer #4 · answered by Randy C 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
With all honesty. If your husband cant stand up for you and your kids, then you might be in deeper problems anyway. If you are banned from their home, then you should not offer help.. stick your foot down and dig in.. cause it sounds like your husband is on their side. Maybe sit down with him.. ask about the woman they think he should of married.. figure out his feelings about the situation.. you may need to go to counseling and it might come down to you taking the kids and getting out..
ONLY AS A LAST RESORT. maybe take the kids and stay at your parents or a friends house for awhile. .. to get how important this is to you..
you sound like you came from a strong family background and want the same.. that is very respectful and it sounds like they are holding something that happened before you were around against you..
Maybe inform your husband that if your in-laws dont want you around or even make the effort for the kids then he needs to figure out how he can make it better or he's losing out!
2007-07-30 03:41:24 · answer #5 · answered by jeselynn_81 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They will do everything they can to make your marriage a living hell. You need to talk to your husband and tell him how you feel; he may be hurt by this and is just not showing it. If your husband's choice is to ignore them, then let it go. They do not like you and do not have to like you. They are horrible people; I am sure you don't want them to be around your child anyway; I know I wouldn't. Go on and live your lives the way you want and break off contact with them.
I can tell you one thing; if it was me, they would be parking their camper on the other side of town.
2007-07-30 04:17:04 · answer #6 · answered by Patti C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sound like a weird family,and your husband has no ball's..either..he's been brought up in a family full of hate...I really wouldn't worry about it..I sure as hell's wouldn't want my children all around them,believe me your not missing anything,or losing anything.just go about your business..show your children how to love,and be loved..and hopefully one day his family will open their eyes..just live you life with your kid's..that's the most important thing..and to hell with the rest!!!
your husband married you for some reason,apose to the other girl..he saw something in you and not the other...
2007-07-30 03:41:29 · answer #7 · answered by CCRIDER69 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My inlaws hates me too, just like u, i got married without anyone from my husband's side came. We dont have any kids yet but I try to be kind to them even if they show me obviously that they dont like me. I never tell anything against them to my husband and instead build them up infront of him. It seems to work and they are better with me if still they cant completely accept me yet. But its up to them, if they dont want to see my kids in the future, it will be their lost. Ignore them, but show no bad reactions. I hope the best for you!
2007-07-30 03:37:08 · answer #8 · answered by stardust 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Wow.....you can pick your friends...but not your in-laws. Yes I agree. Unfortunately....your husband should be on your side on this issue, not his families. YOU are his family now. You need to get into family counselling. If he is not receptive to this, than you have some serious thinking to do. Good luck and God Bless!
2007-07-30 03:35:17 · answer #9 · answered by bella36 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Seems to me the only question to ask yourself is this; are you going to allow yourself and children to continue to be treated as doormats? For your husband to encourage this behavior by his family( and he does by not stopping it) he is saying to you I love my family more. Go to a lawyer to protect yourself and kids and then get the heck out of there.
2007-07-30 03:42:23 · answer #10 · answered by firewomen 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
that is terrible I had the same kind of in laws and I feel like it played a big part in my divorce. you might ask a professional for some advice. a marriage councilor even if you have to go alone.
2007-07-30 03:37:12 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋