dating situation. major regrets. PLEASE HELP.?

Question

my name is polly; i'm 15.. i have liked this one guy, "jason" forever. last night was the first time we actually got to hang out, and i got to know him for as he really is.

let's just say i was pleased. we were reallyyyyyy flirty the whole night! then, as we were watching movies, we started cuddling a lot. he was moving closer to me and finally it ended up with his arm around me, me holding his arm, my arm wrapped around his stomach with his hand on my knee. lets just say i was really really happy...

unfortunately, this guy has a girlfriend. when his friend brought it up, he got really quiet and awkward about it. but is cuddling/flirting cheating? also, should i have shunned his advances when i have liked him for so long -- like a year?

Answer 1

No, it's not cheating. Cheating at 15?? It's called dating. It's called, being inexperienced.
He's not married, you're not married. You can only cheat if there is a commitment. "Dating" and "boyfriend/girlfriend" are NOT commitments.
You like him, he likes you. Go with the flow.

Answer 2

Hey, Polly, sorry to hear of your mixed feeling towards Jason.
But first, you say you've liked him forever. Then at the end you say you've liked him for a year.
And someplace in between, you mention that he has a girlfriend. Is cuddling/flirting considered cheating?
Put yourself in his girlfriend's shoes. How would you feel if you found out that your boyfriend was out on a date with another girl?

Technically, since at 15 & 16 years old there is no commitment, then it's not cheating, as long as all his girlfriends know that there's no exclusivity with this guy.
But emotions between boyfriend and girlfriend can get pretty tangled up.

If you ever start dating Jason regularly, knowing what he's capable of, will you ever be able to fully trust him? My advice is to move on. The dude is just a snake.

Answer 3

When your 15 yrs old nothing is very serious on terms of dating. I never really dated when I was 15 the only thing I did at that age was experimenting and having fun. Cuddling and touching would be considered cheating only if you were old enough to have a serious relationship but at 15 just have fun and don't worry if this other guy has a girlfriend. Boyfriend and girlfriends don't really exist at 15. There isn't anything wrong with it and if he acts really weird about this other chic than he either feels guilty or doesn't know what to do.

Answer 4

as many common people would say, he may be a jerk, fool, playboy etc.

You can choose to live a life of mediocrity and follow the crowd and listen to this absurd immediate answers and baseless accusations. But will you do that?

Or will you seek for yourself the man he is you are flirting with? Flirt is not a bad thing, but it does have it's limits. My own father and mother at time would share stories of them flirting with another man and woman during our family outings, but alls good since no matter what flirt the do, they know the bondaries of getting too deep in flirting. But their trust is deep and strong, which makes what they do seems like child play.

So Polly, yes? You have described Jason as a very wonderful guy, and I'm sure he is to you. Since he has a girlfriend, maybe it's time to ask him what he thinks of you and find out yourself the girlfriend he has.

As you know, there are times men do not provide enough love and effort for they girlfriend, causing them to drift away. But I can simply say the opposite as well that women may not appreciate the effort men put through for them.

Maybe that's why he chose you, and he doesn't have that courage to break up with the woman he's with now. It is a possibility, but no guarantees.

He's quiet and awkward because now that you know he has a girlfriend...what is your response? Will you make life difficult for him? Thinking he is a playboy, jerk, asshole and then ignore him, avoid him?

If you wish to solve anything in life, it is to always confront.

My curious thought is...why did his friends bring up such an issue? Are they attracted to you, that they are willing to go that far to ruin this current relationship you have with him? It's also another possibility, because true friends don't rat out such things. A true friend would have told him the difference from right and wrong and did all a true friend would have done to get HIM to confess the truth to you...if he truly was flirting with you for the fun of it. But still, that doesn't mean I'm right.

After all, I am not you, and I know not of your present situation.

But I gave you a few possibilities so I suggest you start by finding out and that is by asking him and finding out the kind of girlfriend he has. Perhaps his girlfriend doesn't give him enough love, and is not compassionate at all, making him lonely, out of place?

Who is truly the jerk here? The man or the woman? Find out, and then see for yourself, what you can do before things get out of hand.

Answer 5

Flirting, if it is harmless and you don't pursue it to the next level, isn't cheating per se. What waitress hasn't flirted a bit to get a larger tip, or what guy hasn't flirted with the waitress to get better service. That type of 'innocent' flirting is not cheating. Now, flirting/cuddling with a guy that is spoken for in the hopes that it will lead to something more intimate, THAT is cheating. What's worse, it's poaching. You know he was spoken for, yet you did it anyway. Put yourself in his girlfriends place, how would you feel? It doesn't matter how long you have liked him, he was in a committed relationship with another person. You should respect that, even if he doesn't.

Answer 6

You are confusing facts (cuddling) with feelings (he loves me). He's out for a good time. Nothing wrong with that but don't let it get out of hand. As for his gf, that's another matter. He can decide on who he wishes to hang out with and there are no commitments until they're married or engaged. Competition is for real but keep track of your facts and feelings and always know the difference.

Answer 7

look no offence or anything but you guys are kids. It's your job to fool about a bit and have short lived romances, that's how you learn to be discerning! His gf is probably doing the same, that's not cheating because at your age you shouldn't be making life long committments, you need to be safe and intelligent in your choices, but not trapped and tied to one person alone. He likes you, you like him, what's the problem?

Answer 8

the main fact that you are asking urself and us if its wrong, maybe because somewhere inside u feels it it wrong

you like the guy and from the looks of it he maybe liking you too.

but to me, your part of the deal stops here. i mean, u already made him aware that you're interested.

he's the one attached, and if he likes you for real he'd do something about it, because he's the one bringing the complications in.

so i suggest you step aside a little and watch what he'll do. because whatever you guys do at this point is bound to break the other girl's heart.

and i suggest you look inside yourself, is the guy really worth the heartbreak you'd be causing the other girl.

goodluck.

Answer 9

You kids make a big mistake by getting into exclusive relationships too young. This is a time when you are learning about people and you should be dating lots of them, not just one. If this boy wants to see you again, he will. It's up to him.

Answer 10

Is this the same guy you were talking about in your other question? If he has a girlfriend AND you are putting a friendship at risk you are making a big mistake. Do not pursue this guy.