I have been with my fiance for 5 years next spring. We are already engaged and have discussed marriage, kids, etc. We want to spend the rest of our lives together and the only reason we haven't married so far is money (or lack of it), but now I have just started a much better paid job. I would love for us to get married on our 5 year anniversary but want it to be a surprise. What do you think?
We planned a wedding before (or rather I did) but it didn't come off due to various financial difficulties, and he was quite happy for me to decide on everything and i have a good understanding of what he wants the day to be like, so i dont think he's be upset at missing out on the planning side of it.
But do you think its a bit weird or romantic?
Should i go for it?
2007-07-30 02:36:39 · 24 answers · asked by hannah b 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
we both have huge families and planned on it being just the two of us because we could never afford for all our family to be there and we are both shy people and feel that marriage is a very intimate thing between 2 people.
2007-07-30 02:42:20 · update #1
I know he will react positively, im just asking if you all think its a bit strange or romantic??
2007-07-30 02:43:56 · update #2
It is defiantly different. If you think it will be a positive outcome, then go for it!
2007-07-30 03:40:48 · answer #1 · answered by kimandryan2008 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Is it going to be a surprise for him or your guests? Or both? I wouldn't surprise the groom. That would be a little scary. Can you imagine going to what you think is an anniversary party only to discover you're getting married? I would feel like I was being forced into it even if I had been planning to marry in the first place. However, I have seen a surprise wedding where the guests didn't know they were coming to a wedding. It was really cool and a lot of people cried they were so moved by everything. It was on an episonde of either platinum weddings or who's wedding is it anyway. I'm not sure which. If you do that though, I would seriously suggest hiring a planner, because you're going to need some help other than your fiance and if you can't tell anyone what's going on, it gets really difficult to get the whole thing planned. There was no way that couple that did it on the show could have pulled it off on their own. Even if the planner takes a minor role, it would make it worlds easier. The only other people the couple on the show told were the grooms adult children from his first marriage and that was only the day before the wedding. Its a really tough secret to keep!
2007-07-30 02:45:22 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is romantic but are you 100% sure that he is ready to get married just now? It seems to be only you that arranged the last one,and again this time! I dont doubt that he loves you and wants to be with you for the rest of your lives but I personally would tread carefully on this one.
I have reservations for many reasons,one being that if finances was the only issue,how come you are able to afford it as a surprise? And if finances are no longer a problem due to your better paid job,your partner might be happy to agree for you to do all the arranging and might want to help with some of it himself,plus if he knew about it and was ok about it now your finances are better,it would help him prepare in his mind for it,rather than have it all thrown at him on the big day when he hasnt been able to get his head round it,that in itself could make him question if he's doing the right thing. Even couples that plan together get the jitters on the day,so how must it feel if he has no idea,till the time arrives!
Are finances the real issue for your partner?
I would talk to him if I were you and tell him you are now able to afford to get married with you having a better paid job and just see what his initial reaction is,if he gives you a different reason why its best to wait,then I'm sure he isnt really ready to get married just yet.
As nice as the surprise would be,it could all end in tears if he's not ready to get married yet.
Sorry,I dont mean to put a downer on all this but getting married is a huge thing,and will be even more huge if one doesnt know about it.
2007-08-01 02:54:51 · answer #3 · answered by tinyfeet64 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that would be a beautiful, romantic way to tie the knot. It is a day about your love, personally. I would rather have a private wedding then a full blown wedding with tons of people who you honestly could care less if they were there or not. Do what will make you feel the best. It will be very intimate to have a private surprise wedding with just you and your man present.
2007-07-30 02:52:37 · answer #4 · answered by Beeg 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Someone has already mentioned this but if you live in the UK it is not possible to arrange a surprise marriage, our law states that you have to give notice that you are free to marry and wish to marry, this has to be done by both parties getting married, one person cannot do it for another person, each person getting married has to sign the legal paperwork. Sorry but if you live in the UK this is just not possible. I think they do this so they can check that each person understands and knows exactly what they are getting in to. It's only sensible really. You could have a humanist ceremony, however that is not legally binding so you'd both have to go to the registry office to do the legal bit.
2007-07-30 22:55:48 · answer #5 · answered by sparkleythings_4you 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
This sounds like a bad idea. If you can afford a surprise wedding, you can afford a regular wedding. If you let him know that you can afford the wedding and he still gives you a reason not to get married, I would examine the relationship a little closer to see if there is another issue.
2007-07-30 02:54:05 · answer #6 · answered by duritzgirl4 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
My husband and I made a date for a Thursday. Went to a chapel, got married and then had a party several months later at our house for everyone. We didn't do this for financial reasons, but for other reasons. It was a very fun day, we got dressed up, went to the chapel and had an emotional ceremony, then we had Friday - Sunday to play. It was really alot of fun!!!!!!!!!
2007-07-30 03:03:59 · answer #7 · answered by Rein 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, NO. What are you thinking? A wedding is a serious and solemn event, that both people need to agree to and prepare for. A wedding results in a marriage, and a marriage requires consent, forethought and willing comittment.. It's not a birthday, for heaven's sake.
2007-07-30 03:28:05 · answer #8 · answered by Trivial One 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think it's very romantic, as long as you are sure that he will react positively to it (and both your families won't be too put out) Hope it all goes well, good luck to you both.
2007-07-30 02:51:54 · answer #9 · answered by Nickynackynoo 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Book a holiday and get married overseas its cheaper and very romantic. You can have a meal with your family to celebrate when you get back. Most holiday companies, such as BA/Virgin will organise for you.
2007-07-30 02:46:29 · answer #10 · answered by Annie M 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Never heard of a suprise wedding but there is a first time for everything Best of luck to you
2007-07-30 03:01:05 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋