what is the right age to abandon a kid from sleeping with his/her parents?

Question

hi there,
I expect to be a father in the near future.
could anybody who is experinced recommend the right age to abandon a kid from sleeping with her/his parents?

Answer 1

Okay I'm going to be the "unpopular" one on this one and probably get 20 or 30 'thumbs-down" but my kids were co-sleepers. At first, my oldest was a nervous wreck, colicky, frantically crying whenever she wasn't swaddled and held, and the only time I ever got any sleep was when I finally just brought her to bed with me out of desperation when she was 3 months old. (Now, no comments about "Oh MY GAWD I hope you stop doing this you are endangering the life of your child!!!!" She outgrew it and she's 15 already). I started out bringing her to my bed until she fell asleep, and if we both fell asleep, fine, if not, I'd get up and put her in her own bed for a while, then bring her back to bed with me later if she woke up in the night. Then as she got older and transitioned from a crib to a regular bed, I'd lay down with her on her bed for story-time so that she fell asleep in her own bed.

My second slept with me most of the night until she was about two. My son was more independent - he slept in his own bed from birth.

Now of my three oldest kids, not one of them has any problems. No bedwetters. No ADHD. No disciplinary problems at school. A and B report cards. No socialization issues with their peers. Completely normal.

So no, co-sleeping is not going to cause "major issues" later in life.

My cousin got up in the night and climbed into bed with her parents until she was 5. I remember doing some similar night-wandering when I was about 4. I would say put the child in their own bed, but don't punish them if in the course of the night they wind up snuggling mom and dad. By age 4 or 5, if they still aren't completely independent, I would start to discourage that behavior by being super enthusiastic and congratulatory on the mornings after a night spent entirely in their own bed.

My 20 month old still falls asleep in my bed and gets moved to her crib for the rest of the night. But she has been known to stay in my bed if I fall asleep and don't move her to her own bed. Once she transitions to a "big girl bed" we'll be reading her to sleep in her own bed. No big deal.

Answer 2

It is not a good thing to have your child sleep with you. It is dangerous to the child because you could unintentionally roll onto the child while you are sleeping and injure him/her. It is also psychologically bad because the child becomes reliant on the parent to be near it all the time. If you do not start doing this, you will have no problem later and there will be no question of 'abandonment' as you put it. It is all right to put the baby's crib near your bed in the early days of its life, but it should be in its own room or environment as soon as it is possible. There are baby beds and that is what they are for - the baby.

Answer 3

I think the word abandon is a bit harsh. I presume you mean to have your babies crib in your bedroom with you and then I would say once the baby stops waking for feeds in the middle of the night and once you feel you can relax with it being in its own bedroom. Maybe 6 months maximum but it all depends on the child and what you instinctively feel is right for it.

Answer 4

My son is one year old (tomorrow) and right from day one we had him sleeping in his own bed, in his own room. Some people said they did not agree with that but now everyone we know with kids of a similar age wishes that they had done the same. In the hospital they take the baby away from the Mum and he sleeps on his own for the first night and it does them no harm.

For yours and the babies sake start as you mean to continue - it will just be traumatising for them later on when you make them separate.

Answer 5

The right age is immediately. I made the mistake of letting
our son sleep with us and he cried for us constantly until
he was almost 6 years old. Don't ever put them in the
bed with you. We didn't sleep and neither did he because
he slept all over us. If you want him in the bedroom, put
him/her in a crib when you bring him home and then move
them to another bedroom with a baby monitor as soon as
you feel comfortable in doing so. Just don't put them in
the bed with you- it is a HUGE mistake to start with.

Answer 6

Don't let your child sleep in your bed. It becomes a very bad habit. DO put the childs crib in there for about the first year. just because of sids.

Answer 7

My daughter became into an ideal toddler and slept anyplace she became into placed. She could nod off in my mattress, yet could stay asleep as quickly as we placed her in her crib. before she became right into a 365 days previous, she slept for the period of the nighttime in her own room. Then my hubby and that i desperate to go, yet he wasn't executed with college, so the youngsters and that i moved first. We placed her crib in storage, and had her slumbering in a %. and play. This became into high quality till I broke my ankle. i could no longer get her down into the mattress. So she began slumbering with me, and did so till approximately 2 weeks in the past. She is 6. We tried particularly some cases to go her before, yet concern of the dark/damn window/regardless of else constantly had her working back to our mattress. This time, she had lost a teeth, and became into rather excited to place it below her pillow in her own room. We informed her if she wasn't slumbering in there, the teeth Fairy does no longer discover the teeth. It labored! She's additionally merely grow to be waiting to spend the nighttime at her grandmas without getting scared, so i think of there's a clean point of adulthood that allowed her to make the exchange rather. So my suggestion, do no longer enable them to start, or you would be doing it til they discover that time of adulthood!

Answer 8

People seem to be missing the obvious here.
It is dangerous to have your baby in bed with you. I was told this when I had my child and could see the sense in it.
What if you roll over in your sleep onto the child, even enough to block their breathing?
Put the baby in a cot. In your own room if you wish, but I'm a firm believer in a child being in their own bedroom as early as possible and my son was in his own room from 3 months.

Answer 9

well, when i gave birth to my daughter 11wks ago, she coslept in hosp, n has ever since coming home. i was even given a leflet in hosp stating that cosleepin with breastfed babys is recommended, as feedin is more easily established and continues til baby is older then if in own bed. (if bottlefed strongly reccommend own bed).
my son co-slept til he started crawling at 4 1/2months, n went straight into his own cot with no probs whatsoever.

Answer 10

A baby should never sleep in the same bed as an adult. He should have his own sleeping place. I know it seems to be "easier" sometimes to have the baby in bed with you but try to explain that to the parents od the baby that "accidently" rolled over in their sleep and suffocated their newborn. This really happens.