She says that they found it in the parents closet in a box. Her friend showed her and they watched one. She said that it was "gross" and that the woman was being spit on by the men in the video. I am livid. What should I do? I am tempted to go to the friends house and tear into her parents. How should I handle this situation? What would you do? I fear my daughter is scarred for life from what she saw.
2007-07-29 21:36:34 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
In Australia, exposing children to sexually eplicit and inappropriate material is considered sexual abuse.
Where was the supervision? The fact that kids that age can get into this stuff and play it without the parents being aware is NOT ON!!!
I would follow it up immediately. And not necessarily with the parents either. What sort of people are they? I wouldnt let my child play there again either. Obviously they don't give a notice what their child is doing.
Does your child need a talk or some counselling? I know some people might think I'm overreacting, but your daughter is only 8 and doesnt need this stuff.
Good luck.
2007-07-29 21:44:49 · answer #1 · answered by shredded_lettuce 4 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Oh my god i think she might die from seeing porn. Its like sooo degrading and stuff. Its sooo bad that it should be banned. We should control everyone else's life like totally.
Now for some thumbs down.....
Now really. Just speak to her. Tell her something that will keep her from being curious, the blatant truth probably isn't the best idea, but neither is a complete lie. She will eventually come across it in the next few years anyway, so you need to make sure what you tell her is good enough to stop her from becoming too curious, but is somewhere along the lines of the truth.
I don't see any point from stopping her from being friends with this person. How would you explain to an 8 year old that she could never see her friend again because BOTH of them went snooping into her PARENTS closet.
I agree with the comments that these things should be hidden a bit better, but maybe the parents just need to know that it happened. I doubt they would be happy about it either, they probably didn't know she could get to it, and if you let them know, they would probably rectify the situation.
2007-07-29 22:08:36 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
I cannot believe the responses of some of the posters. They act as though this isn't a big deal. I would also be LIVID if my daughter was exposed to pornography at the age of 8 years old, let alone porn that had men spitting on a woman! Like you want your 8 year old girls first visual image of sex to be sadomasochistic! Appalling. I would definitely confront the parents and let them know that since they obviously don't have the forethought to keep their vulgar porn under lock and key and aren't supervising their children then your daughter will no longer be allowed over there. I would make it very clear that I think very little of them as parents.
2007-07-30 05:44:59 · answer #3 · answered by Addi 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
That is horrible!!!! I would talk to the parents because they need to hide things like this better than that or just not keep them in the house. Everybody knows how curious children are and there is not a spot in the house where they wouldn't look, especially their parents' closet. As for how you can fix what happened, I don't really know. I don't think she can forget it. I would probably try to explain that what those people on the video did is not the norm and not everybody does it that way and try to emphasize more on love and relationships in the future.
2007-07-29 21:46:38 · answer #4 · answered by petyado 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
this situation happened to me when I was little. I seen a porno at probably like 9 or so, my mom found out, freaked out, and took us (my sis and i) to child psychologists. We turned out just fine. At the time it was gross...I mean to any child it would be....but i think the child psychology thing was way worse. It was more embarrassing to go there once a week and talk about things with someone you didn't know, than seeing two ppl have sex once. I mean, if we would have walked in on our parents having sex, we would be embarrassed, but i bet my mom wouldn't have freaked so much. I'm not sure what advice to give here, all I'm saying is try not to make it into a huge ordeal or she may feel guilty and that's not something you want to do. Good luck.
2007-07-29 21:47:47 · answer #5 · answered by beffis1984 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Hi, i know what you are feeling I have been through similar thing, first calm down, you need to talk to your daughter about what did she really understand about what she saw, from there you can judge the extent of it, explain to her in simple words without giving to much away that sex is part of nature (But only adults can do it), perhaps you will have to explain about how babies come about and, I would go to your daughters friends house and very civilized ask to speak to them in privet and explain what has happened I can assure you they will be shocked and concerned that they're daughter has seen it to.
Watch your daughter for different emotional differences to the normal but please don't make a big thing out of it she will forget it soon and be her normal self, if you think there is a problem there are children councilors that will speak to you in privet and help you help her, I think because you know more about sex you are more traumatized than your daughter.
Good luck
2007-07-29 21:55:11 · answer #6 · answered by mika 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
What is wrong with you? Your daughter already thinks it was "gross", she has come up to you and told you about it. What else would u like?
The only action item is now at your end, not hers or her friend's or their parents'.
You may want to talk to your child and ensure that she does not think it was a "big deal", bcs all "big deals" are eventually repeated. But if there is no kick in it, then there is no point in repeating the performance.
In fact, don't give the incident more importance than is due.
2007-07-29 21:50:12 · answer #7 · answered by Yahoo! 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I think that her friend is not the best influence, besides it was hdden in the parent's closet.
I would at least make her friend's parents aware of what happened, because they can take more precautions in the future.
I saw a porn at that age, and fortunately I wasn't scarred. It actually was so disgusting that I couldn't imagine being involved in a sexual act for a long time.
To be honest with you I think that it actually contributed to me being a virgin for so long. I always had those scenes in my head, which genuinely grossed me out.
2007-07-29 21:43:53 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
The parents had the video put away, so I'm sure they had no intention of their daughter seeing it. I would let them know what happened and tell them they need to hide their videos a little better. I think you can tell them simply, without causing a scene and get the point across. Trust me, they will probably be embarrassed by the situation and have their hands full with their own daughter. Keep your daughter away from the other girl. There's something weird about an 8 year old who is sneaking into her parents porn.
2007-07-29 21:44:56 · answer #9 · answered by snappygirl 3 · 5⤊ 3⤋
The is nothing illegal in two consenting adults owning porn. Its not like the other child's parent pop popcorn and invited the two girls to watch. They had the video in their closet. You need to talk to you daughter about going into other's personal and private space. If you feel the need to talk to the other parents don't do it with a blaming attitude but one of concern that their daughter and yours are not being supervised properly while at their home.
2007-07-30 01:34:19 · answer #10 · answered by nykate_winslow 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋