does thi smean i dont love my girlfriend?

Question

ok i really like my girlfriend and i think i love her BUT there are a few thigns about her that i just cant get over certain things from her past.(like for example she had sex with her ex and thid bothers me because i am a virgin and when we first started dating she told me she was too.)so ive been talking to a few people and i've been told that if i cant get over sucjh stupid things then i probably dont really love her. does this make any sense?

Answer 1

I dont believe in little rules like if you cant get over something that you dont love em but it certianly does lower the likelyhood. More to the point though is that your foolishly trying to label how you feel, which means your thinking and plotting instead of feeling and living. Now thinking and plotting are all fine and good, but dont confuse it with love or other feelings. Lastly and more importantly you need to decide to either let it go or let her go becuase, mate, she cant take the sex or the lies back now.

Answer 2

This might be something that will test your love for her. Love is a result of going through ups and downs. When all is perfect and harmonious, there is no way to tell if love is really present. It's getting through the rough stuff that spells out love.

However...I'm not saying that you don't love her because you have these strong feelings. You're right to be upset about her lying to you about her virginity. But does her lack of virginity make you care for her less or just make you feel less secure with the fact that you're a virgin?

I say give it a chance. There are plenty of times that I can't get over things my husband has done and we've been together probably longer than you've been alive. You can work past them without killing the relationship, but you just need the proper tools to deal with things.

Answer 3

You're going to love a lot of people in your life and she's one of them. Is she THE one? I doubt it.

Finding a life partner is a lot like being the boss of a company hiring a full-time manager. Dating is a lot like the job interview process.

When you're looking for someone to spend the rest of your life with, they have to fit the "job description". If one of your requirements for the position is not filled by the current applicant, that just means you have to get to the next "interview". It's not a match.

If the applicant does not have all the required qualifications, they can't possibly do the job to your satisfaction. If your girlfriend (or potential girlfriend) does not have all the required qualifications, she can't possibly be an adequate match. That's not going to stop you from loving her. It just means she's not the best candidate for what you're looking for in a long-term relationship.

What you came across was a "deal-breaker" and I'd have a hard time accepting dishonesty too. Even though she came clean and told you the truth, now you know she has a history of lying to make herself look better.

I'm sorry it all had to come out that way. Sometimes, ignorance really is bliss.

Answer 4

No it doesn't mean you don't love her, that is Ridiculous. If you really want to be with her and care for her, then you love her. Being hung up on her past, or that lie, shouldn't change your feelings, you should just let her know that she can tell you anything and be Totally upfront with you, because the fact that she didn't want to tell you that she wasn't a virgin means she was probably worried about how you'd react to her already having had sex. But she just needs to know that it's okay and you are fine with it. And you should be fine with it

She's with you now and that is what matters, She didn't know she'd meet you later in life and now she has, you should make it the best thing thats happened to her, and keep her :)

Answer 5

If you think you love her, you probably do. Those feelings you have about her not being a virgin are normal. You wouldn't love her if you didn't have these feelings. She probably didn't tell you in the beginning because she didn't know you too well, but as she grew to love, she felt she could share even that with you.Virginity is deeply valued and you naturally wanted to share that with her. Just because you missed that milestone doesn't mean you need to miss the rest of them! Good luck.

Answer 6

To love sum1, we need trust n the ability 2 be able to take them as how they are.Dun try 2 change them into sum1 else.they are who they r.N if u cant do tat, then no point in u continuing the relationship.

Answer 7

Mmm, maybe you're mad at the fact that she lied.
So you DO have a reason to be mad at her... It doesn't have to do with love, but TRUST.

She abused your trust by lying to you in that way. Of course, you had an idea of her in the beginning, and it turned out later that because of her lie, now you have to change in your mind everything you THOUGHT was real.
I don't blame you if you don't love her, NOBODY likes liars.

Answer 8

You may be too young to be dating. People have pasts. She may reget having sex with her ex. I would be concerned that she lied in order to please you: that's a character issue and you should keep an eye on whether she lies for other reasons. Otherwise, don't let her past experience bother you: it's hard to find someone to care for, and if she's right in other ways, let it go.

Answer 9

it was just a lie. who cares. its no like she lied about something serious. and besides she came clean and was honest.

if she sprung that she had herpes then id see the problem.

but she only made a little white lie to be your girlfriend. which shows she would lie just to have you. and that says something

Answer 10

I think your feelings are legitimate. However, that is in her past and you are in her future...Good Luck ;)