Should I be honest with my family about my religious beliefs?

Question

I was raised to be a (borderline fundamentalist) Christian with extreme conservative values, but recently, I wandered away from the mindset that my parents instilled into me and became an atheist. My family is extremely judgmental towards non-believers, and I am afraid that they will reject my choice if I am open with them. What makes the situation more difficult is that I will be attending a Christian private school this coming school year, so I pretty much have to lie to administration if I want them to accept me. I honestly think that most of my family will no longer speak to me if I tell them that I don't believe in God. So.. what do I do?

Also, addressing some of the answerers:

Atheism is not a religion, so I cannot defend it like it is one. It is the opposite of theism. Know this before you proceed to give advice.

I do not believe in sin, but I do have values. Atheists are not terrible people who have no morals whatsoever.

*Absence of theism. Sorry, tired.

Woo, more details.

Not only would they reject my beliefs, but they would also mock me. They constantly make silly remarks like "if humans evolved from monkeys why are they still here? Haha, atheists don't have logic." They do not try to bring people to Christianity by showing them the good aspects of it; they try to dissuade people from drifting away from it by making fun of them.

Answer 1

Oh my! I fully understand. I was in the same situation - very much like yours, in fact.

What I did was, I slowly fed to them the idea that I was beginning to question my faith. It's hard to go against the wave. Your parents will probably go ballistic just like mine. But sooner or later, they would have to accept the fact that you have chosen a different path.

Good luck!

Answer 2

If you are happy with your choice that is all that matters. I'm actually in the same boat as you right now. The only difference is that i NO longer go to school, and have a family of my own. Which up until recently I have raised my kids to be God fearing children. I've tried to talk to my husband about this, and he refuses to listen. So, I have decided to just go on with my new life. I have now realized how much more clear everything has become being and atheist. I'm not ashamed of what I am. In fact I am very happy that I have finally discovered the truth. I was raised very strict Catholic by my mother. My father never attended church but believes in God just the same. I have told my mother, didn't go over very smoothly but for once in my life I'm happy and thinking clear headed, and that's how you need to look at it. Think of your happiness. And don't fret so much about it. All will be alright.

Answer 3

My gut reaction before reading the details was, what's the point of having religious beliefs if you're not honest about them? Then I read the details.

I can't imagine a family calling themselves Christian and then rejecting you or no longer speaking to you because you don't believe. How could we bring anyone to the Lord if we treated them that way?

I am a Christian and the mother of two adult daughters who don't believe. It hurts me more than anything else to hear them say they are not Christian. But I am not going to turn them away, nor do I believe Christ would want me to. I will only continue to be honest about what I believe, ask questions non-judgementally about what they think, and answer questions when I am asked. The definition of "witness," after all, is "to testify to what I personally have seen and heard and experienced." I don't follow Christianity because my family or some preacher told me to. I follow Christianaity because I came to that conclusion and gave my soul willingly to the Lord. Any true Christian is the same, and anyone should realize that we all have individual walks with the Lord. Your family cannot decide for you whether to accept Him. That is for you alone.

Addition from my fiancé, I'm typing as he dictates: There are many people who believe now, who didn't for many years. These people were taken to Sunday School by force, grew bored with it, and chose the wilderness before returning to belief later in life.

Jesus talked about the shepherd who left the 99 sheep to find the one that was lost. God will eventually find you. He will not give up trying. You may discover this as you grow older. Many people do. But always keep an open mind. Never shut the doors.

Answer 4

You do not have to apologize to anyone about your beliefs or lack thereof. But if you are going to go to a Christian private school, it's best not to be too open because you will be the target of preaching and those trying to convert you. I am a Christian and just giving you practical advice. You don't want to draw too much attention to yourself by publicly declaring you're a atheist there. You can debate religion and ask pertinent questions challenging the Christians there without being in their face about it. Same with your parents.

Answer 5

Sometimes people aren't ready for the truth, and other times we just don't think they would cope with it if we told them. You need to decide which situation this is and act appropriately. If they aren't ready to accept such a change in you then wait, be patient, they are your family and eventually they'll be able to accept your choices, if they are then be open with them, but justify why you have made this choice, and they should respect you more for doing so.

Answer 6

lying is the root of depression, yet many have to hide who they really are so as not to face persecution in the workplace, school, home or society in general.

Never lie to yourself, first of all. Next, ask yourself: will your means of living be impaired if you tell them? What is the worst possible outcome of 'coming out'? Can you live with those consequences?

If not, then for survival's sake, you will have to maintain your disguise. Think of it as a postponement, however; keep your eyes on the tasks you need to accomplish before you can tell them how you really feel.

Answer 7

Sadly people are still persecuted in this day and age for their religious beliefs. I suggest hiding your beliefs (as unpleasant as that seems) for the sake of peace. When you get to college, pick a college with no strong religious affiliations if you can. You will have to wait until you are at least 18 to be able to express who you truly are. This is the way of the world, sadly.

Answer 8

No. My sister is an exceptionally vocal atheist. I disagree as i'm a christian, yet I nonetheless love her and know her in simple terms the comparable. the only time i might dodge somebody in step with faith is that in the event that they have been considered one of those folk so strident approximately implementing their ideals on me (by using fact the author-supply is) and/or others (condemning human beings interior the call of religion over way of existence alternatives they disagree with, etc.) and it became insupportable. feels like i may well be extra bothered by potential of the "religous" author-supply, than the ethical yet agnostic/atheist/different written off guy or woman.

Answer 9

If you just recently became an Athiest, give it time, i went torough an Athiest time too, i hated god, and quickly started not believing in him, then i became a screwed up, lost teen, so I found him again, when really he found me. If you stick with these beliefs, wait until your old enough to take care of yourself, don't be ashamed of your beliefs, that's why I question if they are truly your beliefs, give it time...things will work out, they always do.

Answer 10

A difficult situation. I suppose that it is probably best for the present to keep quiet, and when necessary make like a rug and lie. The matter can be re-thought when you reach majority.