went to a moderately priced restaurant that he suggested, at the front door he said, I don't have a penny on me. I was so upset at myself for not knowing this guy that someone introduced me to, and I was placed in an unusual situation. I had money on me, but should I have walked out or charged a meal and then just slip out to teach him a lesson?
HE asked me out, and he suggested the place, and no money? What would you have done?
2007-07-29 18:11:57 · 20 answers · asked by Born Valentine's Day 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Don't you just hate blind dates?
You handled it the best way for you, you did only what most of us might have done in that same situation too.
Lesson learned...always assume the guy might be a jerk, and with that in mind, be prepared to pay for your own meal.
Suggestion, before you leave your place you might ask where you will be dining and offer to treat for ice cream or a desert else where. This will place him in the position of being up front before you get there and provide you an opportunity to know how much you may be expected to bring with you.
Assuming you like him well enough to go out with him knowing he can't afford to treat you to a nice meal on the first date. If he is honest in the beginning and you still like him then no harm done.
But that other guy was misleading and dishonest. He makes it bad for the guys who really are worth getting to know. After all, money isn't suppose to be the only reason for getting to know a guy.
Without honesty he lacks integrety.
”Honesty is the cornerstone of all success, without which confidence and ability to perform shall cease to exist.” --Mary Kay Ash
”Real integrity is doing the right thing, knowing that nobody's going to know whether you did it or not.” --Oprah Winfrey
”The glue that holds all relationships together -- including the relationship between the leader and the led is trust, and trust is based on integrity.” --Brian Tracy
”Integrity is the first step to true greatness.
”Integrity is not a conditional word. It doesn't blow in the wind or change with the weather. It is your inner image of yourself, and if you look in there and see a man who won't cheat, then you know he never will.” --John D. MacDonald
”Achievement of your happiness is the only moral purpose of your life, and that happiness, not pain or mindless self-indulgence, is the proof of your moral integrity, since it is the proof and the result of your loyalty to the achievement of your values.” --
2007-07-29 18:53:27 · answer #1 · answered by Tammy 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
While he should have had the decency to remedy the situation, in this day & age women are demanding more & more equality.... therefore despite the invitation - there is no steadfast rule that he pays. I know that many will say of course, he needs to; however as a single woman with a strong financial picture - I many times pick up the check not because I am trying to overshadow anyone nor am I trying to belittle anyone it is just the way it is. Before I was successful.. I would only accept a date from a man IF I had the money to pay for dinner.. rarely did I ever end up paying; however it just made me feel good that I could if I had to. The days of men paying for everything are over. I am sure when a girlfriend suggests a restaurant.. it is not assumed that she will cover the tab for everyone.. Yes, it was not the most gentlemanly thing to do; however if he is a user, then you got off easily & if he sincerely forgot his checkbook.. see where it goes. I would suspect he is probably a user; however if you went never considering that it could be on you - perhaps you should think about where you reside in the dating spectrum.
Dating is hard; however if women continue to demand equal treatment (as they should) then they cannot expect the old fashioned chivalry, please do not confuse this with respect - ALL people should be treated with respect....
Skating our on the bill is bad form.. you simply could have excused yourself the moment he made that announcement...
I wish you well.
2007-07-30 01:28:01 · answer #2 · answered by 343 Remember 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I'm a guy, and had a female friend of mine told me this story I would have asked for his name and address so I could punch him in the face. For me its not as much about being chivalrous and always paying for a date, so much as it is not being a complete jerk. You don't ask someone out on a date and then not have a way to pay for the evening that you suggested. If you're a guy down on your luck or are not so much into chivalry and want to ask someone out, just explain before you actually go out "Hey really like you, but I'm flat broke, can we go somewhere not so expensive and can you pay" or "Hey look, I'm not into giving out free meals to try and find that someone special, can we split the bill?"
But to show up and say "I have no money on me. Not even a credit card." Pure BS.
2007-07-30 01:20:08 · answer #3 · answered by guerilla77 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I would have asked him if that's how he survives - by getting free meals off of women who he asks out. I also would have reminded him that if he gets anything too expensive I will expect him to put out by the end of the night.
Anyway, ask him out again and make sure he brings money with him. Take him to an expensive restaurant and say , ' oops, I forgot all my money. All I have in this bag is makeup.' Then make him pay for the meal and don't put out at the end of the night. Ha-ha! It serves him right.
2007-07-30 01:19:50 · answer #4 · answered by sophia100 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I guess I would have had the meal paid my bill and slipped out to teach him a lesson :-).
This guy needs to learn some manners. Just because he was introduced to you does not mean that he earns a free lunch.
2007-07-30 01:18:51 · answer #5 · answered by haria 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
If he asked you out, suggested the place and THEN had no money, get out...the guy's a loser and doesn't have clue one about how to treat a woman.
You should've left the restaurant and ended the date immediately.
2007-07-30 01:15:28 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
He is a creep. You should have told him off and left. At the very least you should have asked him to pay you back for hi portion of the meal. Avoid him from now on.
2007-07-30 01:15:54 · answer #7 · answered by notyou311 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
He really is a jerk !! I would have immediatly asked him , "then why u asked me out !! " .This must have been very upseting ,but i think i would have had dinner unwillingly & paid for it for that time.
But in future i will never meet such a jerk & also i would have shouted at my friend who introduced me to him
2007-07-30 03:00:52 · answer #8 · answered by Jo 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would have asked him there and then outside the restaurant, "Why then did you suggest we eat here? Do you expect me to pay for you".
Let him worm his way out of that. What a cheek!
2007-07-30 01:19:17 · answer #9 · answered by Vicky 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Ouch--very tacky of him. I would've slipped out on him, but then my vindictiveness hasn't always served me well. Maybe you could've said, "well then I guess you'd better get a job and find someone else, then, huh?"
2007-07-30 01:15:31 · answer #10 · answered by Corozal 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋