My husband had a daughter as teenager. They were both very young and could not provide for themselves so they moved to another state in order to be closer to the girlfriend's parents. They lived with one of the girlfriends siblings. Later, the sibling got evicted and all got thrown out on street. His girlfriend moved back with her parents but they didn't let my husb stay. My husb needed a surgery immediately & his dad asked him to come home. My husb's girlfirend at the time,took that as offense. She met someone else meantime who she married later on. my husband had good intentions but he never saw his daughter. He didn't have the finances back then and the little money he had, he was paying child support. Ex pushed him in a corner and made him sign papers for his daughter to be adopted by her husband. I met my hubby after all was set & done. I help him track down his ex. We contacted her saying he wants to meet his daughter. Ex said she is not sure what to do. The daught is 17. Help!
2007-07-29 16:51:44 · 7 answers · asked by Donna M 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Since your husband gave up parental rights and was not part of the daughter's life, he should wait until she is at least 18. He should consider the disruption and confusion the meeting might cause to a 17-year-old girl. Since he doesn't even know her, the choice belongs to the girl's mother and adopted father anyway.
Once the daughter is 18, he could have a third party approach her discretely, to see whether she wants to meet him. She may or may not be ready. She is the innocent party, so her welfare is the most important consideration.
2007-07-29 17:16:17 · answer #1 · answered by The First Dragon 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would insist that he meet his daughter. The girl has the right to know who her parents are and what really happened to her father.
Even if they meet only to go their separate ways, your husband should push to see his daughter, it is an important connection in a young woman's life and she should know who her father is and the circumstances in which she came about. I would suggest legal advice if nothing can be worked out with his ex. It's possible that nothing can be done, especially since he signed over his rights when he signed the adoption papers, but the thought of legal action might well force his ex's hand to tell her daughter the truth. Don't give up the fight until your husband has met his daughter. She deserves to know both her parents and their sides of the story and why he hasn't been around for the last 17yrs.
Good luck.
2007-07-29 17:08:37 · answer #2 · answered by Alyeria 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why bother to engage hubby's daughter's Mom at this stage... especially given the convoluted history and obvious crud hubby's been through?
It's less than a year until the daughter turns 18, at which point it becomes HER decision, not her Mom's, as to what sort of relationships she wants to have w/ her Dad
Another 1-11 months won't affect the ultimate relationship between Dad & daughter in the least, but it will CERTAINLY reduce the chaos factor by about 9 megaskajillion percent, ya' know?
I'd avoid having to deal w/ hubby's ex- like the plague...
TX Griff
2007-07-29 17:06:35 · answer #3 · answered by TX-Griff 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ask your self how he'd experience if he became smacked on the top? you may no longer be interrupting him. you will be chatting with him brazenly whilst your daughter isn't around, before those issues take place. tell him which you're disturbing approximately his loss of anger and that he could do some thing to noticeably harm his infant. Insist that he choose for some anger administration scientific care or counseling. possibly he's disturbing approximately some thing in his life or perchance he had a awful youngsters or perchance his horse did no longer win that day, yet that doesn't supply him the properly suited to abuse his childrens or anybody else. in case you have somebody on your loved ones (an elder relative or close chum) who your husband will pay attention to, ask them to help you communicate some experience into him. This guy desires help before he does some thing severe and gets his butt thrown in penal complex. penal complex could be sturdy for him, yet no longer on the cost of your daughter's risk-free practices and correctly being.
2016-10-13 01:59:09 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello,
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2007-07-30 04:59:23 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait till she's 18 then find out if she even wants to see her dad. She may not want to and if your husband wasn't in her life all of her life he should not just assume his daughter is open to seeing him.
2007-07-29 17:03:37 · answer #6 · answered by ♥§weetiepie♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just meet her & see how it turns out 2 be & but don't be worried if she don't like u
2007-07-29 17:17:06 · answer #7 · answered by daddys princess 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋