What are some things can boost up my self-esteem?

Question

I listen to emo music ever second...does that help? haha, guess not.

it's my mom. she used to abuse me all the time when i was little. she even let her boyfriend touch me. all 16 of them. i was 12 at the time. i also had an eating disorder-i ate outta depression, then my mom felt disgusted. she said i was an embarrasment to her. this kept on going for years and my self esteem is a total 0. idk where she is. i ran away to my dad's house. i never got to see her. i told my dad every single detail of what's been happening, he told me he'll take care of everything. i never saw her since. i recovered alittle. but my self esteem is a 1 rite now. im 17, i should be happy that im going to colege next year in 2008. what should i do?

Answer 1

Wow, I've heard worse, but not by much.

Self esteem huh? By deffenition self esteem is knowing what you deserve and not setteling. Seems to me that your self esteem is a lot higher and was the day you left your mom's house. Seems to me you have quite a bit of the strength of charector and will of a woman with a very good self esteem to be able to tell your father what happened at such a young age when there are women twice your age who still can not even admit to themselves that they have been victimised.

Seems to me that you have lived your life well enough to be able to go into college instead of sinking into a slump of drugs and sex with an endless string of guys to just feel good about yourself for the moment. Seems to me that you know you deserve to feel good about yourself period.....I don't know seems to me you're fighting for what you know you deserve. That says to me that you have a pretty well balanced self esteem.

When you feel self doubt remember these things. Remember all the things you could have become because of your childhood and what you didn't become. remember where you are and how the battle was twice as hard for you then it was for others because ontop of normal adolecent things you also had to deal with the burden of being a victim and forgiving, and letting go a pain I know all too well. Look a back at those moments when you left, when you went to your dad, when you told him, when you faught like hell through school, remember that you're loved, remember that you're worth loving and you deserve these things that you reach to attain. Remember this by telling yourself one good quality about yourself, your past, your current life, and your potential future every day.

Answer 2

10 Steps to Improving Self-Esteem:

1. Build up your self-esteem. You must take an inventory. What do you want to improve or change about the way you interact with others? Try to make only one change at a time. Always check you progress before making another change.

2. Celebrate your journey, not your destination. Learn to always feel good about where you are now, and to exude self-confidence about anywhere you might find yourself tomorrow.

3. Set clear goals for yourself before every interaction. Know what you want. Think about how the people you will be meeting can help you reach those goals. Then decide how to approach each person accordingly. Apply this regularly and you will notice a difference.

4. Be proactive. Take the initiative. Be decisive. Let the other person know exactly how he or she can help you. Proactive people tent to be more successful in their career.

5. Treat each person you meet as if she or he is truly important. (You'll be amazed how this works.)

6. Give a firm handshake; look the other person straight in the eye. Practice both of these. Your handshake should be just right. Not too firm and not too loose. Train yourself to notice something you like or find attractive in the person.

7. Listen! Listen! Listen! Teach yourself to develop good listening skills. Learn a way to remember the other person's name. If in doubt simply ask for the name again 2 or 3 sentences into the conversation.

8. Visibly respond to the other person. Smile, nod agreement, and address him or her by name. Apply all you listening skills to visibly respond. The body language is the most important part of a conversation. Practice, practice, practice…

9. Pay more attention to the other person than to yourself. Are you responding to what may be going on in his or her life? Don't filter out bad news. Put yourself in the other person's shoes. Be caring.

10. Stay "in the moment." Don't mentally cut off the other person. Don't reload while he or she is speaking. What this means is that you need to focus on the other person 100% during a conversation. Anything less is considered rude.

Answer 3

Start by thinking better thoughts of yourself. Pick one thing to think of that you like about yourself every day. Maybe make a list of things you like about you, or compliments you've gotten. Don't dwell on the bad stuff that's been said or done to you. No one can tell you you're not worth anything. You have a whole life of good things waiting for you. You shouldn't let someone that unworthy of respect tear down your self-esteem. What should you do? You should let yourself heal. These things have a way of working themselves out. It just takes time. Your self-esteem will be better some day. It just might take some rebuilding on your part. Esteem in the dictionary means: to set a high value upon;respect;prize;consider. What you think about you is your OWN choice. Don't let anybody -no matter how important or how close they are to you- take away feeling good about yourself. I'm sure you've heard the saying, " No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." by Eleanor Roosevelt. That's so true. When you remember hurtful things said to you, tell yourself they were wrong. When the bad thoughts start to come, think of the good things instead. You are valuable just like anyone else, you just went through some tough times. When I feel bad I listen to my favorite music, or watch or read some of my favorite stuff. Stuff that inspires you or makes you feel good. Or I get dressed up in something that makes me feel good about myself.That's all I can offer. Good luck. And don't forget, you are special and there's good memories out there for you just waiting to be made!

Answer 4

Even though these things happened a while ago, they can still affect your self-esteem for a long time. You need to talk to experts that know about abuse and eating disorders. They can help you know what to expect and what might help you recover. I found two phone numbers that might help:

Call the National Sexual Assault Hotline, operated by RAINN, for free, confidential counseling, 24 hours a day: 1.800.656.HOPE. Recognize that healing from sexual abuse takes time. Give yourself the time you need. Know that it's never too late to call. Even if the attack happened years ago, the National Sexual Assault Hotline or the National Sexual Assault Online Hotline can still help. Many victims do not realize they need help until months or years later.

Also, people who know about eating disorders can help you understand and heal, even if you don't have an eating disorder anymore. Please call this hotline and ask them how you can improve your self-esteem after struggling with an eating disorder.
Eating Disorders Awareness and Prevention (EDAP)
For answers to your questions, information, and nationwide referrals.
1-800-931-2237
http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org

Answer 5

You have had a bad time of it and need some counseling.
I am glad that you escaped from an intolerable situation. Your mom and her "friends" belong in jail. Is there a free or maybe a very inexpensive county mental health clinic nearby? Just remember that you have been a victim. It was not your fault. You did nothing to deserve this treatment, and there is help available.

Answer 6

I suggest you read the book "Real Magic" by Dr. Wayne W. Dyer. It's a self improvement book about finding happiness and prosperity in life. It helped me a lot and it seems to be just what you're looking for. Good Luck!

Answer 7

i feel really bad for u i have no self esteem either i listen to emo music alot to it linda helps me another thing i do is it sound funny but my friend has like tons od self esteem and just haning with her makes mine higher it sounds odd but it truely helps

hope everything works out for u and best of luck and here's a internet hug for ya and a star

Answer 8

Listen to Crotchduster.

Answer 9

you need to think positive... what happened is all in the past and you are always goin to have memories but you need to move on and forget. you are a 17 year old ... you are ending your teen years and becoming an adult... so you need to enjoy it in every way possible

Answer 10

stay close with positive friends.
stay with your dad.
list 100 things you like about yourself.
list 10 talents you have and 5 things you can do to enhance them.