Please help if you..criticism is accepted too..?

Question

So, I am a 17 year old girl and currently a senior of the 2007-2008 school year. Next year I wish to go to college and pursue a job in Journalism but I have no money. I applied for a scholarship and I need votes so if you could please read my essay and possibly vote for it if you think it is good enough or encourage others to take a look and possibly vote, then it would be VERY appreciated.

Here's the link.. http://www.collegetoolkit.com/ScholarshipContest/Vote.aspx?U=ashummz05

You register, vote, and then do the email confirmation for it to count. After you get done registering with your name, birthdate, etc. then just put in the url above, it's much faster.

This may only take a moment of your time, but it will be a huge part in my life.
Thankyou all.

Answer 1

OK there girl I voted for you. I wish you the best of luck. Next time you do an essay for something like that you might want to say why you feel journalism is important to you and what good it can do. Like allowing everyday people to know and understand better about what is going on around them and going on in the world. Add some note worthy journalist or correspondence,like Ernie Pile or Barbra waters, Walters Cronkite, and so on and how they have helped to bring unknown stories to a mass of people to help others understand what was going on. I like the family things that you said in your essay! I thought that is really sweet of you. The other side to that is why do you want to become a journalist and what good do you think you can give this world by being one. Overall however I did like it. :)

Answer 2

spent 10 minutes trying to get into this site from many different directions and used both yahoo and google. I found the sites on the web but they would not open for some reason. Everything else is working fine and other sites are opening ok. Sorry, I tried.