Mormons?? Please answer??

Question

I am from Utah, grew up LDS. But I have seen so much hypocricy and it has personally, painfully effected me and my family. I know that we constantly say that "the people aren't perfect, the church is..." but why is our culture and society so selfish and unwise? Utah has the highest rate for divorce, and we teach that the family is most important! Is anyone really listening to what we believe? I was just chewed out by a girl from high school saying that I was the most disgusting, evil, wicked person she knows, and that I'm going to hell, and then she brags that she just got married in the temple. I don't deserve such criticism, or such abuse from leaders that we have been taught all our lives to respect, and that they would protect us. I am hurt and lost, and "losing my way." I am struggling for last threads and reason to keep the desire for a marriage in the temple. All the mormon boys I've dated have treated me poorly. Why? We are taught to be so much more than this.

Answer 1

First off, divorce rate in Utah is slightly lower than those in the rest of the US, but here's some big stats (source below):
41% of all US marriages end in divorce
27% of "born-again" Christian marriages end in divorce
23% of LDS end in divorce, but:
*6% of temple-married LDS end in divorce*
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Just wanted to correct that before I move on with the main message:
There are a lot of hypocrites and half-wits in every faith. LDS are no different. After growing up out west, I see the same thing in the Midwest. My friends here are Muslim, atheist, LDS and Pentecostal Christians, and the same hypocricy happens in all cultures as well. None are immune to it.

What stings the most about it happening in our culture is that the revelations that God has given us have resulted in a highter quality of life than others... if we choose to live it!
Sadly, many reject the tenets of basic kindness and love that Christ's gospel lectures us to share with others.

Don't let a spiritually weak person or small group within a church of 14 million turn you away from such a beautiful institution and message of love. Find others like you that promote a spirit of growth, caring, and kindness, then reach out to the others. Heavenly Father is a fair leader, and you will be rewarded for holding to your beliefs in spite of the actiosn of hypocrites.
Don't forget the fruits of the Spirit and the 2 verses listed before them (shown below)!

Answer 2

I'm LDS. I'm NOT from UT, but a LOT (like at least 1/2) of my ward are Utah transplants. And after they're here for more than 2 or 3 years I constantly hear them telling new transplants that they would never move back to UT on a permanant basis because, "there's too many Mormons there." What does this mean? It means that the Mormons in UT are GENERALLY different than those of us outside of UT. My thought is that those in UT are used to being the majority, so they just assume everyone is LDS, and if you're not, then either join or get over it.
While those of us outside of UT either learn very quickly, or we're converts so we already know, that to be LDS in an area where the term LDS is often confused with LSD means that you have to learn to get along with people who are not the same faith as you. In TX there is a high majority of Christians who are Baptist. Most people will assume you are Baptist if they assume any religious preference. If you tell them you're not, then most of the time you can just say you are a Christian and that's that.
There is hypocrisy in all religions. What we have to remember is that just because we may know better, doesn't mean that it's easier for us, or that we are somehow exempt from being real jerks sometimes. It's been my experience that those who are being real jerks, are being the bully, or just being rude all the time, are those who are struggling the most with walking the walk, so they talk the talk instead.
No one DESERVES the criticism we get from trying to live as best we can, but still make mistakes. What we have to do is do our best to forgive that person, ask for a blessing from someone you trust, and find a way to serve. The less you think about yourself the easier it is.

My two cents: Move out of Utah. Try TX, afterall, we are the "friendly state".

Answer 3

Well, I have grown up LDS in Ogden, UT, and have lived here my whole life. I will say that I have seen and/or heard of many of the same types of things in my experiences, and I suppose I really only can say one thing. You need to take care of you, and let the Lord help you do it. While, as members of the LDS faith, our influence can and should count strongly for better living, we simply can't control other people. In an episode of a TV program that I enjoy it is said, "There is only one thing we can truly control in this world: whether we are good or evil." I know that it can be hard. I felt very ostracized quite often as a young man, and I can promise you that if you will remain true and faithful, relying upon the Lord, you can lead a fulfilling, faith centered life, even if you remain single for many years to come. We are promised all that the Father hath, if we will but live the gospel, independent of what may be going on around us. I hope I was able to be of some help. Just hang in there, and take care of yourself. Do as the Spirit directs, and you'll be just fine. Best Wishes.

Answer 4

Utah in some ways is doing what happens in the book of mormon. The Nephites started out richeous, but look at what happened in alma's time when the judges reigned or at the time of king noah. They said they follow the church and are keeping the church's standards high, but they arn't. The Church is fine, its just that the people have become to proud and caught up in the things of the world and rationalize sin. I have a friend that lives in utah and he says there is two types of mormons. There are the orthodox mormons which live th gospel to the word and then there is the jack mormons that dont obey the gospel at all and still stay in the church some how. The teachings are good, the hearts isn't. here in the east, the members of the churhc are very orthodox, at least most of them. I think that the utah mormons have got a little to comfortable and lax in their religion.

Answer 5

I feel your pain. I live in Ogden and I see the hypocrisy of the members of our religion everyday. They think they are so much better than everyone. They don't realize that they aren't. I'm LDS and from Utah, but I don't like to claim that because I don't want people to think I'm a hypocrite. I was ostracized by the girls in my ward and so were some of my friends. We just didn't fit the mold.

I was reading newssweek last week and they had a new article out on divorce and Utah didn't have the highest rate. It was somewhere in the middle. If you search the rate of marriages in that were in the temple you will notice that the rate of divorce for that is much lower than the national average. I heard the divorce argument so I researched it.

It is so different outside of Utah, and inside of Utah if you manage to find friends that aren't holier than thou mormons.

That girl who said those things to you is much worse off than you are. If she really meant those things she shouldn't be going to the temple.

You should come to some of the student wards up here in Ogden if you live near here. I've been to two or three wards where everyone is normal and not hypocritical.

Still wait for the temple. I'm 21 and I haven't even been on a date. I still want to get married in the temple because I want that eternal marriage.

Mormon boys are very immature. Some of them still have the 19 year old mentality when they come home from their missions. They think we are high maintenance when it comes to who we date, but it is the other way around.

They treat you poorly because they think they can. There are so many more "good" LDS girls than there are boys.

Keep going to church, even when you don't want to. I stopped going to church my sophmore year of college and it took me a year to come back. For me at least, I'm happier when I'm going to church regularly.

Email me about wards around here if you live close...

We aren't all like that. Some of us are fairly normal...as far as a mormon can be normal. lol

Answer 6

Ok, just noticed you added another question, so last question first...... The Bible, at one time was not ONE book...ie Mark, Matthew..etc were all different books, in Revelations it says not to add or take about from that book, and that is what it means..do not add or take away from Revelations. The Bible was put together, a lot later, so that quote could not have meant the whole Bible. There are probably other books out there, from other prophets and those inspired by God, but not YET found....there is no reason, why that can't be so. Yes we do believe Jesus Christ died for our sins. We take on his name. We follow his teachings. He is the Father of Heaven and Earth, our Creator.

Answer 7

Check your facts....Utah does not have the highest rate for divorce. Utah is middle-of-the road at #27

There is a difference between Mormon Doctrine and Utah Culture.

Perhaps my favorite talk in recent years was "Beware of Pride" by Ezra Taft Benson. It is one of the easiest sins to fall into.

In Utah it can be "cool" to be good...whether you want to or not. It creates some hypocrisy.

Sorry about your negative experiences. Don't interact with people who treat you bad. Some will be Mormons, some won't be.

Answer 8

I used to go to Mormon church, and I saw the same things. It is the way some are taught, I'm sorry. They told me I was lesser than a man, and that I would be his property, and if I was raped it was my fault. A lot around here (not all by any means) are self-righteous. Not all are, but a lot of them are tuaght they're the only right and holy people on the planet, and they have the right to treat anyone how they please.

As for marriage and divorce--they rush right in and get married at 18, so of course they get divorced. I've taken 3 1/2 years to get to know my man, and we were best friends before that and we're still not ready for marriage. Anyone taht rushes in will be unhappy--thye have no chance to live life and get a partner that they know, trust, and can live with.

Find your own beliefs, even if that means not adhering to any single religion. You know what is right for you, they do not. Live your life and find a belief to be happy with instead of torturing yourself and staying with something that is hurting you. Don't let anyone suppress you--find a religion that fts you, not one that fits everyone else or forces you to be what you're not.

Answer 9

Please really read what i have to say and take heart. I myself am a mormon and i'm so truely happy to be one. Have you ever heard the saying "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent" ? It's by Eleanor Roosevelt. You can't always trust what other people are saying and doing, you can only really trust yourself and take a deeper look. You say Utah has highest rate for divorce, that may be but how many of these are actually LDS families? And out of those LDS families struggling with divorce, how many of them need a hand or extra bit of faith? So many people leave the church for very small misunderstandings. Is this girl from high school a LDS member? If so, you should just correct her by telling her how much of a poor example she is being. She sounds like she has just went against alot of things the church teaches! Please don't let that one girl hurt you and change you. Maybe see your bishop about her? Just make sure you try to avoid her and avoid conflict with her. I am so sorry for what you are going through. I don't know what else to say but i just want to let you know that you might have heard this from other members but i say this with meaning and true heart- Have faith, keep praying, talk to some of your LDS friends/members and stay positive! I know you will be happy and get through it. From experience, i know what it's like to question the church and feel like it isn't right for you but hang in there! Stay strong! Heavenly Father loves you very much and knows that you are hurt and need help, let him help you and pray to him. Open your heart to him. It's hard, i know. Ignore any negative attitudes that come your way, they mean nothing. After all, If this church is what we devote our lives to and learn to love so much is it really worth throwing away? All these people just want to pull you down and keep you from being happy. Stay with the church, i know you will be very happy! Trust Heavenly Father.
If you need anything i am here=)

Answer 10

I often tell people that it is never any ones job to make you happy, and a person who expects others to make them happy is a very selfish person.
But you seem to have some demons and you really need to talk to some one and sort out your feelings.

Jesus said that we must love one another. I know that's hard to do. In my church I am ver passionate about home teaching.
There are people in the church that think all you have to do is Call the person and that counts as a visit to a family. It frustrates me to no end. Yes you are right that a lot of Latter Day Saints are sinning.

But lets remember the two people Jesus taught us about. One was a holy man and the other a tax collector. The Holy Man stood apart by himself and said I thank you God that I am not an adulterer like every one else. I thank you that I am not like that tax collector over there. I fast twice a week and I give you 10 percent of all I make. but the Tax Collector would not even raise his voice to heaven but beat upon his breast and said: God forgive me, a sinner.

I tell you, the tax collector not the Holy Man was right when he went home that day. For he who exalts himself shall be humbled and he who humbles himself shall be exalted.

-JD