ok be aware i know not ALL guys do this....but I am curious why is it that when I am split from a boyfriend and simply looking for a conversation and maybe a night to hang out to get over my ex that guys feel the need to try to sleep with me...it's not like the first thing i want after any break up sex....and I make it very very very clear that I am merely looking to talk and hang out strictly platonic yet i get the lines like "fu*k me i'll help you get over him" or "well what if us hanging turns into sex" it may i don't deny that I would just rather not feel pushed into dropping my pants and grabbing my ankles right after a break up...please explain this to me....because I am chalking it up to a) either men being pigs....or b) those men being sleazy
2007-07-29 14:17:04 · 15 answers · asked by TPete 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
"break up is sex" sorry for the typo it's just it really frustrates me
2007-07-29 14:18:06 · update #1
ok for those of you who didn't really read the question...I'M NOT LOOKING TO DATE ANOTHER GUY WRITE AWAY....I'M LOOKING TO HANG LIKE I WOULD WITH A GIRL....SO TO SPEAK...JESUS YOU ACT LIKE I'M TRYING TO FIND A NEW LOVE....
2007-07-29 14:23:56 · update #2
ugh another damn typo...right...and the reason for hanging out with guys is to keep me from being depressed after a break up....so many are like move on...well how can I if i don't get out there and try to meet interesting people....
2007-07-29 14:25:24 · update #3
wow... men are crazy, about 98% of the time a guy is at a bar or club they think with the wrong head, and that 2% is used up in careing about his beer, not in a girl that just want to have fun and distract her for a while from something that could be a heart-breaking situation, so on behalf of all men I'm sorry, and also sorry for not giving u a clear answer.
2007-07-29 14:24:45 · answer #1 · answered by chinchan 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your whole discourse is a study in contradictions. If you really want to know why many guys in your sphere of experience respond that way you should more closely examine the non-verbal message you're conveying as well as the verbal ones. The first apparent flaw with your premise is that you can go out with someone to forget someone else in the first place. That's not what people are for...when you break up if you need to heal, take the time to do so. When you start dating, you're implicitly saying you're healthy enough emotionally to be available to at least explore the possibility of being with someone else. If you're not there yet (and no one says you have to be) then you shouldn't be dating yet. Second, if you're really horribly put off by the thought of being approached for sex, why would you (in the very next sentence) conjure so descriptively seductive a mental image as "dropping your pants and grabbing your ankles" while otherwise trying to advance an opposite point? Call us pigs if you like (if that makes you feel better about the situation) but NO guy will hear much else beyond that statement once that vivid image starts resonating around in his brain....and YOU said that, not us. Ultimately you, not the guys you encounter,are responsible for your own mental health and for establishing boundaries appropriate to where you are emotionally at any given time. You can't transfer that responsibility to anyone else, or duck responsibility for the outcome if your messages aren't consistently clear. Maybe you should wait a more reasonable period of time before endeavoring to be social....I mean, what's the rush, anyway? Relationships rarely fail just because of the actions of one person; it takes two to fail, so there are obviously some personal issues you could be working through to ensure that your next venture into a relationship doesn't have the same dynamics and results. Good luck to you; just a little food for thought.
2007-07-29 21:38:56 · answer #2 · answered by Captain S 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sorry it is a design flaw.
The best way for a man to pass on his genes is for him to have sex with as many women, as often as he can, and as fast as possible. Men are sexually active from puberty pretty much until their death. Sex is intensely pleasurable to men, more pleasurable then almost anything else. Is it any wonder that men have sex on their mind at least 60% of the time after they discover women?
Not all men are pigs or butterflies jumping from sexual conquest to sexual conquest. Usually, the better looking and more built they are the more likely they are to have this behavior. Also the "bad boys" are more attractive to women biologically since they have the potential to defend themselves and their women better, to compete for food better and to survive better. At least they did back in the times of the cave men.
Oddly enough the best potential mate you are going to meet is the guy that doesn't attract you at first glance. The nerds are the ones who make more money and who treat their women better, those that need women; some are married to their video games.
To a woman the most important thing in their lives is their relationships. It is impossible to take care of yourself and a family all by yourself when you are pregnant or have a family. So a woman’s relationships give her more pleasure. This also explains why women talk about 50% more than men do, they need to. It also explains female porn; soap operas. Soap operas are complex stories with beautiful people who have horribly complicated relationships, affairs and things happening to them. Male porn is more straight to the point, a pretty naked women is enough to get most men sexually aroused. For women a nude picture of a well built man is only the start, and the next question will be but what about the relationship?
2007-07-29 21:29:16 · answer #3 · answered by Dan S 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
As a guy, I'm appalled at these guys' ideas for comfort. You need to find better guys to be in platonic relationships with, so when your break ups happen you'll have a good guy to hang out with where no pressure or expectations are set on you having sex with them.
2007-07-29 21:21:51 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Take a good look at the type of people you are hanging with and the places you meet them. You may need to change that up for conversations with gentlemen.
2007-07-29 21:23:20 · answer #5 · answered by gma 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Question for you...why don't you go out with friends or buy a dog! Why are you out with a guy so soon. You know we are swine so why? I'll tell you why...you are probably out looking to drop your pants and grab your ankles. Maybe not consciously but you are and these guys pick up on those feelings.
Try a fist full of Valiums and a quart of scotch.
2007-07-29 21:23:49 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You might be sending the wrong signals when you ask to hang out.
Either that or the guys you date are real pigs.
2007-07-29 21:20:51 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
When a girl goes through a breakup guys almost always think that they can get a quick one night stand because they can get the her talking, and then drinking.
(Sorry, but i know a lot of guys like that.).
2007-07-29 21:24:25 · answer #8 · answered by umfan_07 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Its both of those sadly, most men, find a woman vulnerability and strike at full force.
2007-07-29 21:20:53 · answer #9 · answered by Noe 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if you made it clear that you don't want to then that guy is a jerk, it's as simple as that, don't say men are pigs or sleazy, I don't look at girls who are dumb and ask why all girls are such idiots
2007-07-29 21:24:34 · answer #10 · answered by Billy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋