I'm 14 and gonna be a freshmen in high school. I was looking forward to going to school with all my friends, when suddenly my dad gets a job, and says we're moving. The place we're going is in the same state, it's about a four hour drive, but it's totally different. It's way more expensive, so we have to get a house half the size of what we have now. And we're getting our house built so we have to live in an apartment for 6 months!! I've never lived in an apartment for more than 30 days and it's really small and my entire family (my parents and sister) have to share the same bathroom. Right now, we are living in a pretty big, 3600 square foot house, with 5 bedrooms, a study, a living room, a family room, a huge kitchen, and a pool. We're not gonna have any luxiories like that any more. And my parents are saying that they'll save a lot more money for my college cause I wanna be a doctor and go to med school. So then I feel bad for them......(continued)
2007-07-29 13:18:06 · 9 answers · asked by Stephi 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
....My parents are really nice, but I'm kinda mad right now, seeing how much our lives will change. Also, I'm Asian (Indian), but my whole family is very Americanized. But where we live right now there are a lot of other Asians, but where we're moving there's almost 0. I might feel like I don't fit in at school. How do I deal with all this? I want to have a good attitude, but I'm pretty mad about everything. How can I make friends? How can I be happy about this? Help!!!!
2007-07-29 13:20:25 · update #1
....My parents are really nice, but I'm kinda mad right now, seeing how much our lives will change. Also, I'm Asian (Indian), but my whole family is very Americanized. But where we live right now there are a lot of other Asians, but where we're moving there's almost 0. I might feel like I don't fit in at school. How do I deal with all this? I want to have a good attitude, but I'm pretty mad about everything. How can I make friends? How can I be happy about this? Help!!!!
2007-07-29 13:20:34 · update #2
Sorry, I posted that last thing twice....
2007-07-29 13:21:18 · update #3
You sound rather spoiled. If living in an apartment is the worse problem you have Id say your doing pretty good.
Your worrying about things before they even happen. You need to chill out and relax.
2007-07-29 13:23:21 · answer #1 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Having done that move from being someplace where there were a lot of people like me (Mexican American) to a place where there weren't any I can say that it can be scary. But go into the new school with an open mind. You may be just what they needed to complete the place.
Just before high school is actually a pretty good time to move, too. Especially if the new school has a few Jr. Highs or Middle Schools feeding kids into it. All the freshman will be new and lots of the students won't know each other. That makes you stand out less and gives you more opportunities to make new friends.
You also have the chance to reinvent yourself a bit. I know I always worked on a new hairstyle or way of dressing when I moved. At least back then. I still move a lot now and work on overcoming shyness and with each move it gets easier to talk to more people.
All in all this move is going to be what you make of it. If you go into it with an open mind and a spirit of adventure it can be a great experience.
2007-07-30 13:13:33 · answer #2 · answered by Critter 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know, in life we have to learn to deal with and accept changes, some are bigger than others and this is a big one for you, I understand. However, it's not just affecting you, but also your sister and your parents. They are leaving everything they know, too.
Try looking at it as a more positive change than negative. Sure, the apartment will take time to adjust to, but sit down with the family and work out a bathroom schedule to avoid stress later on. Figure out how to work together to make this a more positive and fun experience. Look into the area and find what there is to do and see and make plans to do and see those things as a family while everyone is adjusting and meeting new friends.
If you have a digital camera take funny and meaningful pictures during the process of your move; packing, the moving trucks, friends, neighborhood, your room, your bathroom, etc.., and make your family a scrapbook to look back on.
Be thankful that you're moving now rather than later when you have become totally involved in high school activities and studies. This is a good time. Look for the good and positive and you'll have an easier time. Not to say that you won't be sad, your parents won't be sad, your sister won't be sad, because you all will be sad; but together you'll pull through and they'll be so proud of their mature 14yo daughter. Think what that could mean for your future of negotiating with your parents. If you are mature and helpful, and continue to be that way, they will remember it and you will be rewarded!!
2007-07-29 21:19:44 · answer #3 · answered by gma 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like you have a few issues with your parent's decision. With regards to being in a new place with not too many others who mirror your culture, go online and do some research. Find out if there are any asian-youth organizations in your new city, and if there are, start making friends now. You can also go online...try yahoo geocities, and start connecting with new friends. Find out the name of your new highschool and see if they have a website as well.
With regards to giving up the luxuries your parents have grown you accustomed to, :), you'll get over it. It will mean nothing when you are an adult. Hopefully you will look back on your parents decision as one that put moving ahead before material possessions, and that is all about sacrifice for the greater good. If you are patient, understanding will come. Also, talk to your mom and dad about how THEY feel deep down. Im sure they are putting on a happy face for your family, but they are probably a little sad about leaving too.
Dont lose touch with your old friends. Try to see them once a month..email and video web each other...
...as for sharing a bathroom with your entire family, just remember that this is just temporary and everyone is sacrificing. Events like this in our lives absolutely allow us the opportunity to grow up a little. How lucky you are, that you get to grow up as a result of an experience in which you are protected, nurtured, and in which you will benefit greatly in the future. I promise you if you are a good sport, your parents will never forget it , they will realize you are growing up, and they will be forever proud. Thats a pretty good position to be in with your parents.
Good luck and dont worry !!!
2007-07-29 20:30:23 · answer #4 · answered by kendallmargo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sucks that you have had this change in your life. Its going to be scary for a while but in time you will make new friends and do ok. A part of what makes a good doctor is looking outside the box. Medicine is not an exact science because it involves the human experience. To be a good doctor you have to learn how to go with the flow and how to control yourself when disappointed. Every time you lose a patient, and you will, you will feel personal disappointment. Look at this as an opportunity to start learning how to cope with the uncertainty of life.
Oh and the material things you have around you, those are not luxuries. Having parents who love you enough to sacrifice for you, that is a luxury.
2007-07-29 20:26:48 · answer #5 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm in the exact same situation.. only i am just now going into jr.high but i know how iti s .. i had a 3 story house now too but now i have a tiny 1 story.... i am still freaking out a bit no friends... new school... new area.. kinda (i'v been here before) but i just recieved an email from an uknown person saying this.... This is a fortune cookie... the fortune says where u r now or the changes u have in you life.. r good for you. And my mom ended up with a boyfriend who spoils me rotten and likes my music.. i also ended up getting new friends and seeing guys who like me alot... everything will get better and be easier.. it just takes tiem
2007-07-29 20:26:13 · answer #6 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look on the bright side, you could be homeless.
Downsizing from 3600 sq ft to 1800 sq ft is not the end of the world. At the tender age of 14, it may not be possible for you to foresee that this change, may end up being a blessing in disguise.
Having more money set aside to pay for you to go to med school vs. being able to live in a spacious house is one of them. Not a bad trade-off.
2007-07-29 21:21:00 · answer #7 · answered by Prodigalchild 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get over it... your only 14 you can make new friends...who cares if you have to live in an apartment do you know how many kids out there that have to sleep in shelters every night grow up...things could be much worst you could be at the same school only instead you dad lost his job and now you have to move into and apartment...be happy for what you have...dont worry about fitting in if your cool and be yourself the kids will like you when you get into high school anyway you dont really stay friend with the kids you went to middle school with because you make new friends with kids from other middle schools in your city
2007-07-29 20:23:23 · answer #8 · answered by girly27 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know who u feel when i finished 5thgrade in singapore ( a country in asia) my mom moved me to the usa n thn i finished 6th grade and move again, 3 hrs away, n i finished 7th grade and i moved from IL to WA....so yea...n now im going to a diff hs from all my friens...and in singapore my house was HUGE. apartments arent that bad i had ta live in one cause my mom cuddant find a nice house for 8th grade... but the sharing one bathroom part sux...but i mean freshman yr everyone is new right? wish u the best of luck =D
2007-07-29 21:00:16 · answer #9 · answered by angelpinkgal 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋