what does it mean when your scared to approach somebody and try and make friends with them incase you give?

Question

yourself to them, be who you really are..and they end up rejecting you for being the person you really are?

so this thoughts to painfull so it prevents you from approaching someone who youd like to be friends with, incase they reject you for being you..

im 30 years old, have borderline pd, and have never made any friends in life or ever been in a relashionship with a girl...i was bullied severly growing up, through high school, and have very very low self worth....ive missed out terribly in life.....but im waiting for therapy and are still aiming to achieve the goal of finding a loving partner and to emigrate from the uk.

Answer 1

I think the best thing you can do is just keep on being you. Its true some people will not like you but screw them and keep on looking for the ones who do. If someone rejects you for being you then they won't make a good friend anyways.
One thing I do to try to feel more confident is to think that a lot of people feel like I do, and they are too shy or nervous to talk to or approach me. So I introduce myself first and try to be friendly. Sometimes they may say hello and that's it, but if they are interested they will continue conversation with you, or hang around you the next time they see you.
Also, it can be hard, but find something you think is really great about you, and remember that thing. If you remember that you are great for some reason and focus on that it can make you feel or seem more confident. People are always interested in people who seem sure of themselves.
Another thing you could try is online groups. You might be able to make a connection with someone who feels the way you do, and eventually could meet in person and make good friends.
Good luck, and good luck in therapy, I am sure that you will find love in your life once you find love in yourself.

Answer 2

This is what i feel, i find it very hard to trust people and i'm scared of letting my guard down with new people i meet etc. I haven't got any friends either and half the time i make myself beleive thats how i want it because least that way i'll never get hurt again! But at the end of the day everyone needs somebody, no matter how much you kid yourself you don't. Paranoid personality disorder is something you might want to read up on as this often makes you feel isolated and targeted by people, hence the paranoia. All the best.

Answer 3

i know how you feel, i suffer with borderline pd, and i dont make friends that easy either, i never tell anyone about the way i am until they have know n me a very long time. i have now got 1 true friend who excepts me for who i am and forgives me for all the stupid things that i do from time to time, as i cant help myself at times. i know its scary to find true friends but nothing is totally impossible. im 33 years old by the way. dont give up hope.

Answer 4

See if you qualify for a relaxant that you can take as required before an anxiety provoking experience?
drugs arnt all bad and can really help. Speak to your Gp

Answer 5

You history could be mine. I developed a very nice case of social anxiety disorder. Any public situations, including dating, are almost impossible.

Answer 6

A fear of forming attachments to someone sometimes get in the way of friendships. Don't think of the future when you meet people, only the present. The future is undecided, so let it take care of itself.

Answer 7

Sounds like avoidant personality disorder. Here's some info, see if it sounds familiar.

Answer 8

listen, we are all afraid of rejection. all of us...from the top notch banker, to the young school boy...if you are not you, then whoever you fall for, will fall in love with a facade....and you don't want to have to keep pretending that you are someone you are not...be who you are...the right person is going to come along, and then you can relax..because they will love you for just who you are...

Answer 9

sounds like social anxiety