I am joining the army but I am afraid that if I get married, my wife would leave me due to being away lots?

Question

Does this happen often and any military personel, please tell me what you think ad your own personal beliefs on this. Does this happen often????

Thanks a lot.

Answer 1

if there is a question in your mind that she may leave you she is not worth marrying.

Answer 2

You are actually a symptom of governmental miscalculation that has being in evidence since the end of the cold war. The army was an attractive employment option, where if you were posted abroad, your wife would accompany and you would get a married quarter and you would both fit in with your new community. The only postings abroad, apart from a token in Cyprus and what remains of British Forces Germany are Iraq and Afghanistan. We do not have sufficient forces to meet these government volunteered obligations. Make no mistake about it, if you join the army, although your regiment may only have one foreign tour in two years, you could find yourself in Iraq or Afghanistan for 18 months at a time. The way it works is this, is that you will normally have a couple of months of pre-op training (Canada?), then you do your six months operational tour. Return to UK, but then because of lack of strength in another regiment, your unit gets attached to make up the numbers, and you end up going back to where you just came from, after repeating the two months pre-op training !!! (This is not rare and it can happen repeatedly)

No matter what the recruiting sergeant tells you, this is the reality.

Answer 3

If the two of you love and trust each other you have nothing to worry about, I am so sick of people assuming ALL WIVES cheat, I have not or will I ever, I have entirely to much respect for myself , my kids, my husband to even want to look at another man.

Have I seen Marriages fall apart? yes of course most is because the Soldier is away alot , and cheating involved by either the wife or Soldier.
The hardest job in the military is being a spouse you are left to care for children being mommy and daddy not knowing if you will see your Soldier again, it is hard keeping home in order and keeping the moral of your spouse up.. I have never asked for pitty from anyone this is what we decided we wanted for our family many yrs ago, I am on both sides of the fence because I am a Soldier in the Guard but I have been an Armywife longer.

If a person wants to cheat they will regardless if they are in the military or not, I suggest if you really are not sure about getting married date , there is alot of stress in the military and some spouses can handle it while others cant.
Do what you feel you need to do for you and for her.
Good Luck in what ever you decide to do!

I hope you dont listen to younglady she has ALOT of issues with military .. and is really getting on my last nerves!!
I am a strong woman who has always known what I wanted out of life for myself and my family... Any man would want a strong woman , that gives him secuirty of knowing she can take care of things while he is away.

Answer 4

Both me and my husband are 33 years old we have been married 16 years and he has been in the Army 14 years, we have a son... and I will tell you this much I have spent many nights ,days, birthdays, wedding anniversaries,holidays alone. It isnt fun, but I dont complain, I know its my husbands job. I support him 110% percent whether he is right beside me or thousands miles away in a foreign land. He is my husband and i love him no matter how many times he deploys or has to pull CQ or go to the field. It takes a strong woman to be an Army wife. Communication, love, honesty and faithfullness will get you through...just remember true love never dies it only gets stronger....
UPDATE : I have been reading all th posts and I see everyone mentioning the divorce rate of the military..however I see none of them mentioning how many of those divorces were due to the fact the lady and i use that term lady loosely married the military man only for his benefits....

Answer 5

mate the one thing you have to realise is if your doubting this now, theres no future in the relationship. have a sit down with your girlfriend and explain that for ten weeks youll be apart(basic training) then a further 6 weeks apart, stage two trainig then more time apart specialist training.
after that youll go to your battalion or regiment where you will find out when in the future you will deploy and you can usually write off a month to six weeks build up training then a bit of leave then on operations bit of r and r then back out , then home for a month. then probably start build up training for your next tour.
so as you can see unless shes willing to support you and dont take this the wrong way, but this is from personal experience cut away now and get on with the future, on the lighter side just remember women come and go but medals last forever.

Answer 6

I hate to say this, but, divorce rates for military members have skyrocketed since the beginning of the war. The military does offer plenty of classes and discussions on maintaining a relationship during deployment, as well as family support groups to help out the spouses and dependents. I have seen it go both ways, it all depends on how much your wife loves you. I have seen spouses cheat on their soldiers during deployments, and upon the soldiers return the marriage is over, and I have seen marriages continue through multiple deployments without (so it appeared to me) any major difficulties. My personal opinion is that if you really love a woman and she really cares about you, do not get married before a deployment, it is a painful situation to put someone you love through, and a new marriage can be severely strained by a year or longer deployment in a harzardous environment.

Answer 7

I wouldn't get married before you enlist. Wait till you leave once or twice. I'm deployed now, and my roommate is getting a divorce because his wife can't handle him being gone. We've only been gone 5 months. Another guy has to call his wife every day, or else she will flip out on him.

You have to know how she'll handle you being gone for a year at a time. Especially when you can't call for extended periods of time. Even when you do call, you can't tell her what you're doing, sometimes you can't say where you're at. It's almost as hard for them as it is for us.

Either way, good luck.

Answer 8

statistically the military has the higest divorce rate there are many factors that suround it but it could happen\

generaly because soliders are young and fixing to be shiped far from home so they marry quick with out considering if the woman they are marring is a good woman or not or rather she can handle the military life if you do think before marriage if she is willing to wait for you with out getting married for a year then she is marriage material if she cant handle it then she isnt for you

it takes alot of strenght and understanding in a woman to be married to the military

Answer 9

If you even think she would do this, dump her now before you get hurt.

It takes a special breed of woman (or
man ) to remain faithful to a spouse who is away in the Military, likewise for a person away in the military to remain faithful to a spouse back bome.
And, yes it does happen, --- too often.

Answer 10

well my son has been in the army for 12yrs, and has been married for 10yrs and has 2 children one is 8 and one is 5 ,he is away a few times per year but the army wives and in fact the army look after those who are left behind they look after each other.
so you shouldn't worry about that,as you may regret it if you don't join up.

Answer 11

There are exactly 3 possibilities here.
1. Your deployments will not cause her to leave you.
2. You do not belong in the military.
3. She is not the person you should marry.

I have no idea which is true, but 1 of them is.