If you had adenocarcinoma of the lung and it has spread- would you have treatment or live out the time left?

Question

My mother who is 64 has been diagnosed with lung cancer- PET scan shows positive areas in other parts of her body. She is refusing to have radiation and chemotherapy treatment. She thinks her life is over. I am trying to be as supportive as I can and respectful of her wishes. This is a difficult situation. I don't want to insist she has therapy - if it she has a short time left- the chemotherapy may cause her suffering. Of course I want her around for as long as possible- but not at the expense of her suffering- and then she still passes on.

Answer 1

This isn't a question that a stranger can answer. I have two suggestions, both rather obvious.

After helping your mother emotionally and giving her whatever assistance she needs, tell her: "I want you to do whatever you think you should do."

Involve Hospice!

If your mother has no objections to a religious organization, the "Stephen Ministry" can be very helpful. Their priority is not evangelism.

My best wishes to both of you in a very difficult time!

Answer 2

I think that you should share your feelings with your mother. Your mother is probably going through a lot of emotions right now. Her feelings may change as she comes to grips with her disease.

Based on your question, I'm guessing that your mother has stage 4 lung cancer.

There are several treatment options at stage 4 lung cancer. However, the chances of the cancer going away and never coming back are not high.

You and your mother should talk to your doctor. Your doctor should explain the choices open to your mother. Some might be chemo, others will not be "chemo".

Once you've talked to your doctor, I suggest that you get a second opinion. Physician experience matters. It plays a big role in what options doctors give you.

I hope your mother gets better and wish you and your family the best of luck.

Answer 3

Difficult decision that is often based on the age of the patient and their overall health. A stage IV cancer is different in an older person who has lived a long and hearty life compared to a child or young adult who hasn't even started.

I would say that the choice is up to her and you need to abide by her wishes. Make sure that she first has all the information made available to her . . so she can make an informed decision. Some people are just feel too miserable to undertake the fight . . it can be daunting and difficult especially if the patient is ill to begin with.

My teenage son on the other hand was willing to undertake the fight. He was young, strong, athletic and overall healthy enough to fight back. He was diagnosed with advanced abdominal sarcoma over two years ago. He had multiple large tumors within the abdominal cavity, on the large and small intestine, spots on liver, tumors caked onto right and left diaphragm, spots on lungs, chest wall, and lymph nodes. He was given the choice of having treatment or going home. He wanted to give treatment a chance. So he did and it paid off for him. He had nine months of high dose chemotherapy, debulking surgery, cytoreductive surgery and intraperitoneal hyperthermic chemoperfusion, low dose chemotherapy, thoracic and liver surgery, and is currently living with stable disease in the pelvic area. His quality of life has been excellent as he has been asymptomatic the majority of the time. He is only ill when he has treatment and thats only for one week each month.

So . . has it been worth it. Yes. Every single precious day has been worth it to him, for me, for his friends, and family. He is still here with us and doing well.

Contrary to popular belief . . not all cancer patients 'suffer'. Many live with their disease under control using medication.

People Living with Cancer
http://www.plwc.org/portal/site/PLWC

Best wishes as you sort out this issue. I know how hard it is but try to respect your mothers decision. There is no right or wrong decision to make here. You do whatever feels right.

Answer 4

I would ask the oncologist what extra time / chances the treatment would get me, and what problems it might bring. Then compare the two and try to make a decision.

My husband has cancer and we are near the end of the planned chemo treatments - and probably will refuse the last treatment as he is having significant side effects. We feel comfortable with that decision as the extra "life-chance" can be only a few %, whereas the loss of feeling in hands/feet is significantly affecting his quality of life.

I know that's quite a different stage from where you are, but hope it shows the thinking process.

Can you talk with her oncologist? Or attend an appointment with her? Then maybe you can get a better idea of her options and whether she is being realistic about the outcomes.

Best of luck

Answer 5

You should speak to the oncologist about whether treatment would be beneficial and the side-effects. The main thing is to spend as much time with your mom, and to give her all the support. Speaking as someone who survived cancer, the initial shock, chemotherapy treatment etc, all can be pretty daunting, and having someone there for you helps alot. Good luck.

Answer 6

Talk to your mom and ask her about the treatment options she and her Doctor has discussed. Your mom probably made a decision based on that discussion. Tell her you want to know the truth even if it hurts. My mom died of lung cancer and never had any treatments and lived for two more years after her initial diagnosis.

Answer 7

this is what my sister had. she did one round of chemo to see if it would help. it did, a little. so she went for a second round. it did nothing. they tried radiation too but it didn't help either. that's when she said,enough. she wasn't going to spend all time traveling back and forth for nothing. it would only have prolonged the inevitable.it was a tough desicion but it was hers to make. i think she made the right choice. i'm glad she gave it a shot before she did though. however, if she had decided not to try at all, i would still have supported her choice. no matter how difficult it would have been. i guess that's what you'll have to do too.i'm so very sorry you have to go through this. it will be the toughest thing you've ever done. my best to you,your mom and family.if you wish to chat, e-mail me. peace.d.

Answer 8

Its her decision and i presume she has been given the statistics on survival from the oncologist. I wouldnt put any pressure on her at all as she is already going through enough. In reading the other answers so far,it is refreshing to see that many are valuing quality of the life left rather than simply the months.

Answer 9

my grandfather died from cancer a few years ago and the treatment for it caused more suffering than the actual cancer did.the doctors told us the treatment bought him 6 months but to me that 6 months wasnt worth the pain and suffering and the quality of life wasnt worth living either.to me the decision to start the treatment was a selfish one on our part.i understand each patient is different and each one responds differently to treatment but if i had it to do over again i would have told him not to try the treatments.id listen to the doctors to a certain point but remember the doctors and hospitals dont make any profits if they let their patients simply pass on so they will say anything to get you to try treatments.

god bless

Answer 10

I am so sorry for your mother. This is her decision how she deals with the cancer. My sister had cancer and maded decisions that I did not agree with. After she died, I realized that she had to deal with the pain and treatments of cancer. She maded the right choices because she was to tired and sick to fight anymore. Give your mother the support she wants, and love her .