When I throw b'day parties for my kids (under 10 yrs), some parents ask something like 'hey, what is ryan into? we'd like to get something he enjoys'.
I used to hem&haw, and say something only after the parent insisted a few times. After a few parties, I'm more frank, and say something like: 'oh, thank you for asking, just having Tommy over will be great. Ryan loves books, trains & anything that moves'. Or: 'Andrea loves pretend play & anything Princess.'
My husband feels they might ask, but it is rude for me to mention what the kids are into. I am more like, hey, it is easier for that parent/kid, my kids and me(no returns).
I keep my reply generic, and do not mention any 'expensive' toys my kids might be into currently.
So, is it rude? Or just plain practical. THEY ask, and these are folks who we know but not very well, but kids get along great. My husband feels they can ask their kid what our kid likes...I feel, just mention couple categories..
who's more right?
2007-07-29 07:20:07 · 10 answers · asked by ritah 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
It's not rude to ask you what your child likes. They want to get him a gift he will like and use. It's also perfectly acceptable for you to tell them what he would enjoy as a gift. What your husband needs to realize is that it's a gift for your child, not for him. Telling people what your kid wants for his birthday isn't wrong or rude. It's expected and acceptable. They're not hurting anything by asking. What does it matter if you know what your child is receiving ahead of time? Your husband needs to get over it.
2007-07-29 07:27:13 · answer #1 · answered by Samantha 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not rude if the parent keeps asking or insists on "what 'Ryan' likes?".
From the scruples teaching, you did fine in answering and keep doing that. First time they ask say that's ok he has enough toys or whatever. Then if they ask again, say well right now he is into this and you can add that if he is friends with the child of the parent that is asking then you can include their child and say, "well the last time they were here they were into Transformers, or whatever they were into".
It's not rude to tell them, they asked. If they ask with good body language and they insist, then tell them. It's more frustrating for them if you don't answer, or they end up buying something anyway and it may not be something that your child likes, they never play with it, then that could make the parent friend feel bad or that they wasted their money, so tell them.
The flip side is if you have a birthday party and say no gifts, then they should respect that.
2007-07-29 14:42:30 · answer #2 · answered by nonstp 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When I ask I ask because I don't know what to get and I want to get something the kid will like and MOM will not have to return (what a pain in the ***!). It is NOT RUDE, it helps me so much when a parent can say Oh they are really into Barbie or Princess or NASCAR, etc. Now that my kids are older (than 10) I just buy Visa gift cards because all the kids love those. You are awesome that you give suggestions!!!! Your husband is wrong (and my guess is doesn't "deal" with the b-day parties so he doesn't know what it's like).
2007-07-29 14:43:39 · answer #3 · answered by PK211 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I always ask what would be a good gift because I wouldn't want to buy something the parent finds objectionable (for example some parents don't want their kids having toy guns or bratz dolls). It would be terrible for the parent to have to take a toy away from a kid that he got for his birthday. Also, if I can get an accessory for something he already has (like if he has a leap pad or a video game system) then we all know it is something that he can use.
2007-08-01 04:49:07 · answer #4 · answered by missbeans 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What we try to do in our family is use invitations of what the child is currently interested in. There isn't always one though: Last year I bought Cars invitations, and where it says, on the inside, "It's a Party", I inserted the word NASCAR before party. Also, you can use stickers on the invitations, that indicate what the child likes, if possible.
2007-07-29 14:31:50 · answer #5 · answered by SANDRA T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the person asks, give them your kids' favorite color and cartoon, or whatever book series they enjoy the most.
It's most certainly not rude, in fact it's probably polite so your kid (which I'm not saying WILL happen) doesn't end up making the "I hate this, but I'm pretending to be into it" face.
Good luck.
2007-07-29 14:23:40 · answer #6 · answered by Kaci 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you're more right. If they asked the kid what they want they'd be all specific and such and probably mention all the expensive toys they want (I WANT A PONY AND A SPACESHIP!). If they ask you you can be more tactful with your response and be generic like you have been.
2007-07-29 14:28:12 · answer #7 · answered by Mandiex 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your answers to them are fine! They ask you and you're doing your best to answer them. I also agree with your husband on one part. I always ask my children for input when attending birthday parties. They usually know what the other kids have and what they're into.
2007-07-29 14:24:48 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
$$$$$$$$ thats what they want
2007-07-29 16:06:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if they ask then go ahead and tell them wut ur kids like
2007-07-29 14:42:12 · answer #10 · answered by ur mom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋