I'm getting engaged to my boyfriend of 6 years. Here's the problem, I want to wear a wedding gown but.....

Question

I really want to experience going out to the bridal store, picking out a gown and just wearing it. But he wants me to wear something simple. I find myself getting annoyed. I feel it's my 1st big day whereas we both would become one. I don't want the whole big sha-bang like a bachelorette party and etc. I just want to wear my dress and have a photographer take pictures of the BIG DAY when it comes. I want it to be memorable and simple at the same time.

I pitched a plan to my fiance. The plan was to throw a nice Thanksgiving Dinner Party at a hall and invite all of our family and friends so we can make the big announcement. We are getting married on my birthday which is October 11th of this year. So all we're doing is just announcing we got married already.

I really don't know what to do. I need all the suggestions I could get about my situation. How would you work this out with your fiance? What simple wedding plans did you arrange?

Answer 1

You can still get a wedding dress.... but yeah, keep it simple. shun the train and the veil and stuff... just a sweet simple bridal dress.

Answer 2

You go right on down to the bridal store and try on some dresses.

Your fiance is probably invisioning a big ball gown with a three yard long trail, and a big white veil. You sound like you're thinking of a simple A-line or slip dress, both of which can be found in many designs at a bridal store.

You're right- It's the big day, and you want to feel your best. You should be able to.

I'm getting married in just less than 3 weeks, and I bought my dress at Kohl's on sale for $15.90. It's a knee-length, cream colored sundress. He's wearing black cargo pants, a green button-down shirt, and we're going to buy him new black boots before we go. We're having a 'planned elopment' with 4 (maybe 6 if they can make it) friends in attendance, and then, like you guys, will make the big announcement when we return.

Answer 3

It's your day that you will have to look on from your wedding day forward, you can definitely make it rememberable but yet simple. If you have been with your boyfriend for 6 years, he should be willing to compromise your wants along with his for something this important to you.

Try having your small ceremony first and having wedding pictures taken by a trusted friend or family member with a digital camera at a scenic location. Or go to a photographer's studio (to cut cost) and take some posed pictures for an album of memories. Then have the hall wedding reception as a huge surprise for your guests. Decorations can be made in advance by you and family members. Check to see if your banquet hall comes with any amenities so that you can take advantage of them. If you need any more assisitance contact me. You should have a great wedding day regardless of your situation.

Answer 4

There are many gowns at the bridal store that are simple in nature. Maybe if you can take him to the store with you so that he can see you in one (not necessarily the one you buy) he'll understand how important this is to you. Your other alternative could be a destination wedding. Take a little trip, and come back married. A lot of places will videotape your wedding so that you have photographic memories.

Answer 5

First of all, it will be very difficult to keep your wedding a secret in your hometown because when you apply for a Marriage License you names and addresses are published in the newspaper (it is a matter of "public interest").

If you wish to do something discreet or secret or romantically private then you will have to go "out of town." There are lots of country inns or bed and breakfasts that will help you make all of your dreams come true. You can wear a wedding gown in a garden, have a lovely dinner, and a weekend honeymoon without anyone's knowledge. And many of the inns will recommend a florist (for a small bridal bouquet). . someone who can bake a small wedding cake . . or a photographer in that area. Innkeepers love weddings and most of them are very helpful, cooperative and knowledable about what services are available in their town.

I have done many of these "Bride and Groom only" weddings and it's actually quite simple because you have eliminated so many things (attendants, flower petals, invitations, chicken dinners, a DJ, and limousines).

Do a search on weddings with country inns or bed and breakfasts . . and you will be pleasantly surprised with all of the choices you have. Everything from a private chapel to a flower garden to a honeymoon suite to a private candlelit dinner to breakfast in bed. Yes, it can be done . . and actually, it is done every weekend of the year. Treat yourself to something special!

Answered by: A Certified wedding specialist / A Professional bridal consultant / A Wedding ceremony officiant

Answer 6

If he is saying in regards to your getting a dress that it should be a simple wedding-- to means indicates that there might be an overriding financial concern.

Perhaps you should consider a budget-- and stick to it-- Weddings can get expensive-- and he may not feel right about spending a lot on it.

If the money is a concern-- Do what someone else said (Do something unique).

But my advice-- is to get to the bottom of the problem-- men and women speak two different languages. The last thing you want-- is to resent him for anything -- then get married.

-Jason

Answer 7

Bridal shops have plenty of simple elegeant dresses, I really don't understand why this is becoming a big problem.

If you want to go to a bridal shop, then go. Find a dress you like and that is that. This is your wedding too and you should wear what you want!

Besides once he sees you in the dress he will be glad that you picked something you like!

Good luck!

Answer 8

This is your big day to feel like a princess and you should be able to wear the dress of your dreams because your gonna be looking at your wedding pics 5- 10 years from now and you wanna have no regrets because then you'll be blaming your husband for not going to a bridal store and you'll feel unhappy.

Answer 9

You can do the whole gown shopping thing and still find a nice simple elegant wedding dress to get married in.

Congrats!

Answer 10

We totally agreed on what type of wedding we wanted - which was a traditional church ceremony with reception for 200 guests.
Are you thinking of wearing a full wedding gown just for when you and him get married alone somewhere? That really doesn't make sense.

Answer 11

oh my gosh, girl, i was reading the answers here and i was shocked that a couple people picked up on how strangely controlling your bf is. i have never ever heard of a bf ever objecting to his bride wearing whatever wedding dress she feels pretty in. i too was real uneasy with your question as it was so bizarre and your question had some strange details, like you are walking on eggshells around him and he wants to be married but does not any one to know and does not want you to look like a bride. and why dont you want a big shabang, if you have all your family and friends around, dont you know people who care about you want to be included, invited, want to give you a shower, want to be your bridesmaid, want to ohh and ahh over your wedding dress ideas. ??? why does this guy have such a problem with this.? i know people elope every day, but i have seen a million brides in vegas, and they may have had no one at their weddings, but they are usually dressed up in wedding dresses to kill for.

oh yes, having any sort of party on thanksgiving is doomed to utter failure, every person you would invite already is obligated to have thanksgiving with their own family, thanksgiving is a family holiday, not a wedding reception day.