I'm Thinking About Suicide?

Question

You see, my life was never satisfying for me. I had always had emotional problems... I never had a fun childhood, now that I'm a younger adult (19 yrs old), I'm still struggling w. finding myself. I could do nothing right. Everything is always in the wrong direction for me. I don't know who to turn to or what to do. If things would never turn out amazing for me soon, I think I would just explode & have a mental breakdown.

I have tried overdosing on anxiety/anti depressant meds at 13, but never succeeded, obviously. I'm currently not on those meds anymore b.c I "showed some progress" which was about 3 yrs ago. I have ideas in mind about how to end my last day, but theres still a side of me that wants to feel some success in my life or make some kind of mark in this world before I do. In the middle of this, I think its impossible for that ever happening. No one would ever understand me. I will never have a b/f or have close bbf which I could hang out w/... =*(

Answer 1

You say you want to feel some success in your life - well that's your reason to live!!!

If we all look back on our lives, most of us can say that our lives were never satisfying. Things could have always been different. They say that we may our own breaks - but I do believe luck has something to do with it. I'm not lucky either, so don't feel bad. I guess in your case you need to take a step back and look at yourself - what is holding you back from getting to where you want to be?? It's hard pushing forward in life when there are sooo many things holding us back. I'm not sure how active you are in your life - but if you're not, you need to be. Start doing things for you. Start loving yourself. Once you feel better, get some self-esteem, self-confidence.. things like a bf or friends will start to fall into place. When you're depressed, you emit vibes that push people away. But when you're feeling good about yourself, you attract more people to you. None of this happens overnite - it takes a lot of work. But if you start to change you, things around you will start to change too.

Answer 2

I've had uncontrollable thoughts of suicide from age 12 up until today (I'm 29). I cant' stop thinking that life is pointless because I don't know what to do with myself and nothing gives me any pleasure. I'm on 3 different meds which help a little bit I still think of suicide every day. I may need to try different meds. I'm also seeing a therapist along with the psychiatrist. One of the things that stops me from killing myself is the thought that suicide is pointless too. At least if you are alive, there is some hope that tomorrow may be different.

My worst years were around 19-21 and then when I had a breakdown at 28 right before I got on medication. You are not alone when it comes to feeling like this. Message me if you want to talk more. There's not much more I can say other than I feel where you are coming from.

Answer 3

I am also 19 and have struggled in the past with emotional problems. I don't know if this will help you but what helped me was to set a goal in life and really REAALY concentrate on in to a point where it shadowed other issues. You said that you wanted to make a mark in this world, so why don't you? Definitely by ending your life you are not doing anyone a favor, you will not be alive to know whether it was a good decision or not anyway.. you will be dead, that's it. Why don't you join an organization like WFP and go to a country that is less fortunate and try to help them. I am sorry to say this, but you are being selfish by thinking about your own problems like this when people have it much worse. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and be there for those that need you, turn your life around and help people, you were put on this planet for a reason and it would be a shame to see you go when you have so much to offer.

Well, that's all.. just think about it okay? And realize that people out there care for you.. or else they (as I) would not be posting. You are loved, learn to love yourself.

Answer 4

you are still young hun... most ppl dont find their purpose in life till they are older. I remember having those same feelings as a teen but if i were to have ended my life i would never of known the joys of having 3 children. they are my life now and that may not seem like the excitement your looking for but for me it was exactly what i was meant to do. I was suppose to stay on this earth and make sure my 3 boys were happy, healthy and safe. i didnt have my first child till age 21 so if i would have ended it i would have missed my life's purpose all together. Hang in there hun tomarrow might be the day your life changes forever. Dont let the problems of right now get you down. you do have a purpose in life and it isnt to die at a young age and cause your family and friends grief. It is to live and see what comes next good or bad. Me and my husband have just been thru the worst 4 yrs of our lives. but finally we caught a break. see never give up. and just know that although you think no one is watching and no one cares about you. that is not true. you have people who love you. Take care hun. if you need to email me feel free its [e-mail]

Answer 5

Just try to look at it this way...at least u arent dying of some horrible disease, your child isnt sick, you arent a vegetable...there are so many things that could be wrong with you that you couldnt change....this depression you have you CAN change, you just have to want to, trust me when I say things could be a lot worse..
If you really want to get better do whatever it takes, I know you can do it, its just hard at first. You will find the love of your life too, its destiny you have a soul mate but if you end your life you miss out on a wonderful adventure with someone. Be cool, and start to move in the right direction you can do it.

Answer 6

You need to try and think positive, I am also only 19 and have recently lost my boyfriend to suicide i am 38 weeks pregnant and i have never felt more suicidal in my life 4 weeks ago my life looked reasonably o.k as in i could cope but not without him and now hes gone so I know what you are feeling maybe not exactly the same but i can relate.

What you need to ask yourself is what is suicide going to solve all it does is destroy lives its not going to solve anything its going to hurt people your 19 and you have your whole life ahead of you I know if my boyfriend had a second chance he would not have done it I mightn't know you but i know suicide is not the answer sometimes you might feel like theres nothing left and everythings crap but your young and its part of growing up everything will get better you just need to stay positive

If you feel yourself starting to feel worse please try talking to a helpline ill be thinking of you and you will be a success you just need to give yourself a chance stay positive

Answer 7

don't end your life before it even starts.we all have some sort of emotional problem and very few people had a ''little house on the prairie'' childhood.
You are only 19 and everyday you wake up you have a new chance to start again.
find something you like to do and develop whatever it may be,drawing,music,fitness....
whatever.
taking good care of your body will also help your mood.
end trust in God to show you the way.
whatever you think God is.

Answer 8

You need to get back on your meds. Call a professional or your local mental health clinic.
Even our failures are part of what makes us who we are, what makes us unique. Don't give up on your self, you still have a lot to offer the world. You could be a good influence in someone's life without even knowing it, and you would be letting them down by quitting now.
Call the clinic tomorrow and tell them about your suicide thoughts, and they will see you right away.
Good luck.

Answer 9

Focus on the +ves in your life, not the negatives. It's very easy to get dissatisfied in life by thinking of all the ways your life hasn't gone as planned. But this happens to everyone. I could go on but in the place you are right now, this will all be meaningless sentences. The most important thing for you to do right now is get in touch with a college counsellor or psychologist. These people are qualified to help and that's what you need right now.

Answer 10

NOTHING that could ever happen to you in life is worth ending your life .... NOTHING!!!

Come on, you are YOUNG! At 19, nobody FINDS THEMSELVES. Life is a journey! Learn to enjoy it and stop taking yourself so seriously. Think of it this way, you are one person in this world ( by the way, you fit in nicely ) trying to understand life in general. Don't be so hard on yourself .... you don't have to be PERFECT! How boring would that be?!
If it is other people, friends, family that are TELLING you that you are as bad as you described yourself to be .... then stop spending time with them. Surround yourself with things you like and move on.
Get a job so you can surround yourself with people living life and see how good it makes you feel to be around other people. STOP PITYING YOURSELF and START THINKING POSITIVELY! There is way too much emphasis on "FINDING YOURSELF" these days. One day, when you least expect it, you will look back and say "Wow, Life isn't so bad after all. I really am a strong person!"
Remember what I said .... NOTHING that could possibly happen to you in life is worth ending your life! NOTHING!!!Heed those words!
You have a lot to live for and so much you have yet to experience ... aren't you curious at what good lies ahead of you?