I feel ashamed when....?

Question

I'm a virgin and I'm proud of that but I'm normal like every other human and I get sexualy excited - but when I do and I act on that overwhelming sensation (like almost going all the way with my boyfriend and seeing things for the first time. him touching me in certain places sorry for TMI seeing body parts that are ment to be hidden) I feel very bad about myself and feel like my day is ruined because I did something that a good christain girl wouldn't do and also like I can't look at my family. (I'm almost 20 and I'm going to college in August)

I also feel bad when having dirty thoughts before I fall asleep at night.

Answer 1

As a guy with a Catholic upbringing, it sounds like you have taken religion classes seriously.

Although we as humans do have some control over what we think, there are times when thoughts like this come to us as a result of our physical feelings & sensations. I personally do not think those thoughts are sinful.

As for seeing "things" for the first time that are meant to be hidden - they are part of the human body, and the only reason they are meant to be hidden is for the sake of society. Do you look at yourself in the mirror when you are naked? You should. When you can do that and not feel bad about yourself, you are on your way. If your boyfriend really loves you, then you and he will explore each others bodies when the time is right. Religion teaches that there should be no intercourse before marriage, and that's fine. Kudos to you for keeping your virginity!!

Good luck and God bless!

Answer 2

Hon, there wouldn't be any good Christian girls if their mothers didn't do some of the very same things. Your virginity is wise and admirable especially considering how far you got and then stopped. Your boy friend must be a pretty darn good Christian too. Just forgive yourself the indiscretions you have and do not worry about thoughts at all. Sex is a part of Christianity and experimentation is useful in preparing for that big day. It is normal to feel guilt whenever we percieve something we have done to be wrong. College will help a whole lot and what you have been doing will better prepare you for college. Guys are going to hit on you there you know and you'll be better able to handle yourself after some exposure to male sexuality. The higher the education, the lesser the guilt.

Answer 3

Why feel bad? We are human and there is nothing dirty about so called dirty thoughts they are natural and a part of God's plan for us all. If you feel the way you do by just seeing "it" then that should help to reinforce your conviction to wait until marriage. Stop tempting yourself. Stop going almost all the way and stop looking and touching where you shouldn't and stop letting him do the same with you. The process was designed so that once you get the motor running it is hard to shut it down again so if you do not want to get carried away and do something in the heat of the moment that you do not really want to do, Remember, do not turn the key in the ignition if you don't want to take a drive.

Answer 4

Congratulations I' glad to know that you are still a virgin really I am. Everything you are feelin is totally normal. If you didn't you wouldn't be a good christian. Is this boyfriend willing to wait for you? If not you nedo ge rid of him you deserve someone whois respectful of your decision to wait. hoe you don't change your mind and consider going any further withthis young man. remember your virginity is the only thing you as a woman have control over and only you can decide when you will give it away.

Don't feel bad and maybe you should talk to a close friend someone who could help not encourage.

Answer 5

Don't feel ashamed.

If you didn't feel the way you felt (sexual feelings), the human race would cease to exist. Your body is telling you to replicate (have sex) in order to pass your genes onto the next generation.

I personally have a problem with religeon in that I think the world would be a whole lot better without it (I'm sorry), and this case exemplifies it perfectly. This religeon makes you feel bad for what has caused your ancestors for bringing you into this world.

Practise safe sex..its fun, and don't you dare feel bad about it at all.

Also I recommend the book "The God Delusion" By Richard Dawkins.

Answer 6

You are repressing yourself, and that is not good for your health. You have your Christian beliefs mixed up in your budding sexuality, and I hate to be the bearer of bad tidings here, but... that's just not good for your well-being. Now, there is absolutely nothing wrong with saving yourself until marriage. However, it is not shameful to feel the way you do, and it's also not shameful to make out with your boyfriend. It's a natural thing, humans are very sexual beings. We are built to procreate for a reason. Your body begins to develop sexually in your teenage years, and while it is a good idea to be smart in your sexual encounters (safe sex is VERY important!) it's bad to repress those feelings because the people at your church told you to! You are an individual, your own person. Formulate your own beliefs based on how YOU feel... Don't let other's opinions dictate your life! Don't allow your Christian beliefs to make you feel ashamed of your natural feelings! You can remain a virgin and still respond to the feelings you are having. Just be responsible for your actions, love yourself, and stop denying yourself of your natural feelings. Good luck.

Answer 7

It is completely normal for you to be feeling like this...you are human. Set yourself boundaries with your boyfriend that you know you will not feel uncomfortable with and know you will not regret after. You don't have to go all the way to feel close to your boyfriend. Sex is a normal part of life and how all of us are sitting here right now so you should not feel dirty.

Answer 8

There is nothing wrong with sexual urges. Back in bible-day, girls got married off at age 13 or thereabouts. there's no reason to feel bad (except if you're messing with your boyfriend's mind because you keep telling him you're going to go all the way.

This is why so many "good christian girls" turn into slut-hos in college. (god bless 'em) they're so bottled up and so sexually frustrated from their "life of purity" that when they slip, they fall HARD, and since they already fell, they might as well jump the rest of the way.

Don't you go fall into that trap
know it's okay to feel that way
but if you do, fall in my lap
and we can repent on sunday.

Answer 9

You kind of answered your own dilemma, you're human and yeah it's hard sometimes. I know what the Bible says, but I also know God made us in his image, not his perfections. We're not perfect nor will any of us ever be, though there are those few you seem to think they are. But you need to find someone you really trust to discuss this with if you're feeling that bad.

Answer 10

look having sexual desires is perfectly normal..nothing to be ashamed of..and whether u want to do it or not is completely ur choice..if u feel guilty after foreplay with your bf then dont do it!