Last night I was supposed to go dancing with some people but (last minute) friends cancelled and I ended up with ony 1 girl friend and 2 guys from work. On an empty stomach I stupidly got drunk too quickly. THEN my friend started "going at it" with one of the guys. The other took this as his cue to kiss my neck and try to do stuff with me. Mind you, I've drank a little too much so I didn't exactly stop it 100% at first. However he kept trying to do more and more. He tried to touch me and have sex with me but I pulled away and wouldn't let it happen. He managed to touch me a few times got inside, but in seconds I pushed him out. I told the guy I had a boyfriend and that I can't. He listened. Then my boyfriend started calling and I panicked and didn't pick up. He left messages nervous about where I was. At this point i left the house and told the guys to take me home. Telling my boyfriend would DESTROY our relationship even though I stopped things from happening. What to do?
2007-07-29 02:12:16 · 15 answers · asked by lalalady 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
What's the point of telling him if you know that it will destroy the relationship? Keep this one to yourself. I think your bigger problem is how you're gonna deal with the guy at work. He's probably *not* gonna keep his mouth shut.
2007-07-29 02:22:43 · answer #1 · answered by ~RedBird~ 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hi...tough one...My suggestion would be telling him even though you have the risk on him becoming angry. Why? Because your bf might hear through the gossip line anyway and it's better hearing a situation like this from you than from another. It's always better to be honest than to hide a secret that becomes known. Also, I have to question the integrity of your gf and your coworkers. I'm assuming your gf knew that you had a bf, as well as your coworkers since you do work with them. They should have respected you more for just that reason instead of what they had done. You, on the other hand, should have thought before you acted. If you know your limit on drinking alcohol then you should have stopped before issues arose. I'm not trying to criticize or sounding like your parent, but you should have used common sense. Your bf will be asking a lot of questions and unless you are an excellent liar, then I would definitely tell him the truth. What comes around, goes back around. So remember...! Good luck with your decision.
2007-07-29 02:41:15 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some things are best left unsaid, even though you might try to do the right thing and talk about it. If you know that this is going to have an effect on your relationship with your boyfriend and he might break up with you, are you willing to take that chance by telling him just to find out? The people from work, they are co workers and not friends. This is going to be the job gossip to save yourself the embarrassment and the chance of your boyfriend finding out ,change jobs and move on. Make this a lesson learn, next time take your a** home if you don,t know or trust the people you are hanging out with.
2007-07-29 02:24:58 · answer #3 · answered by liz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My opinion is not to tell him.
I understand you try not to keep stuff from him, but I also see you care for him and the relationship. But as a man like me, If I know my gf were touched by someone eles. I will get mad doesnt matter its just a little or all.
So be smart next time, and just don't do it again.
2007-07-29 02:18:43 · answer #4 · answered by Glenn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep this to yourself, and hope to God that your friend doesn't open her big trap.
In fact, you may have to monitor your friend closely, and if she starts to make jokes with you about it, you may have to kill her.
Seriously, as long as you pretty much NEVER go out with this girl alone again in a situation like this, you're better off keeping it to yourself.
I doubt your boyfriend will be very undertanding that this guy "got inside a few times" but you stopped him.
DO NOT SAY ANYTHING and move on and be more responsible from now on.
2007-07-29 02:17:23 · answer #5 · answered by johnpnj 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I wouldn't tell him. I think when you cheat and tell the other person you're only doing it to clear your head. The other person just ends up getting hurt. On the other hand, did you use a condom with this other guy..if not you should tell him you are putting him at risk. Also what would you want if the roles were reversed?
2007-07-29 02:17:56 · answer #6 · answered by Tammy G 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keeping secrets like that will ruin your relationship, honesty is a key part in your relationship, if he loves you a lot he will understand that you got a little to drunk (which i don't believe in drinking at all) andand had some things done to you, but you still had enough sense to pull away after your mind caught up with what was happening
2007-07-29 02:17:42 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
you could have done more to stop what happened....you said dude got inside you???? ya so you had sex with someone that night. being drunk is a weak excuse. if you really cared about your relationship you wouldnt have gotten yourself in that situation..though you claimed you stopped anything from happening you indeed had sex with another man that night.
2007-07-29 04:19:50 · answer #8 · answered by David C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say that you avoid telling him....
And resolve never to go out drinking with strange people.
Next time, have a more reliable friend who will watch out for you, as well.
2007-07-29 02:17:36 · answer #9 · answered by darkening_hope 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You put yourself in that fix. You may want to forget it ever happened and move on, it would destroy your relationship.
2007-07-29 02:17:01 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋