Trust problems?

Question

Me and my bf have been together for 2 years... before we met he was with the wrong people and was doing drugs, however he stopped he went to cali in rehab and everything. Anyways he is 23 and I am only 20 so I can not get into bars and he wants to go really bad w/ his friend...this friend does all of this stuff still and I do not want him going w/him alone...just because he tries to get my bf to do it again and I do not want him mixed up in it...he gets mad and says I don't trust him...I do trust him I know he would never cheat on me & all of that I am just scared bc I know he would give into this guy...I have no problem hanging out w/this friend when were together...am I wrong for doing this or should I let him go??

Answer 1

Two years is a long time, and you have done alot into helping him become a better person. Don't let someone you love go, it's easy for people to say let it go, but you only know how you feel about him. Building up a relationship with the history you two have is not something easly broken, and theirs no reason to break it unless he cheats on you.

But about his friends, that's what im most concerned about, you should speak to him and tell him what bothers you. Don't put yourself or his friends unless he does anything distructive to your relationship. As for the friends if they do drugs or look like they do, then he should decide what's most precious. But it sounds like the two of you don't have a relationship problem, it's the influence in the relationship that's a problem. Speak with him, otherwise be straightforward and speak with his friends, let them know he means the world to you, and that your not going to let anyone get on your way.

Goodluck, i hope everything works out, and that you stay together for as long as your love lasts! :)

Answer 2

No you are not wrong, you really care for your boyfriend and just don't want him to mess up his life, but your boyfriend is an adult and should be able to think for himself, if he cannot say no to this guy and has no desire to stop hanging around bad company, there is not much you can really do. The decision is yours, give him a chance, see if he can really handle being with this friend, show him that you do trust him, you must know if he starts using again. If he has started again, best advise I can give is, be his friend but don't get caught up in his mess.

Answer 3

LOL!!! He shouldn't even trust himself in those situations.

He needs new activities and different ways to entertain himself. He should work at finding a hobby or learning a new skill that takes him nowhere near bars. Nobody ever accomplished anything at a bar except a hangover.

As for relaxing, there are lots of ways to do that without a bar or nightclub in the mix. Kicking old abuse habits usually means kicking old buddy habits, kicking old hangout habits, etc.It's just part of the maturing process to acknowledge that doing the same old things leads to the same old results--only worse.

Answer 4

Obviously you still care about your boyfriend, and you are worried he might give into his friend. Try to help out you bfs friend, and if you have any friends yourself over 21 (that are not easily convinced) try introducing them, and have your bf, bfs friend and your friend hang out. Then your friend could meet some people new and have something fun to do, and also the person can try to keep them out of trouble. Also try to convince your bf that you trust him completely its just you love him (if you do) or you care about him and don't want anything bad to happen to him.

I really am not good with this stuff, but there werent many answers on this and I thought i should try to help, so i hope this does!!!! :D

Answer 5

I think you're doing the right thing. Once someone has gotten into the habit of doing drugs, it's fairly easy for them to fall prey to the temptation of doing it again. I'd say you should plead with him to wait until you're 21 when you both can go to bars and hang out together (where you can keep an eye on him). If he really cares, he'll concede. Not only that, but he's screwed up his life once before, why should trust come so easily again?

Answer 6

Tell him your concerns, and then let him go if he still wants, you can not control him. You do not own him. If he gets back on it, then it is his life, no matter how it hurts to see him go down that path. It is what he has to learn to overcome. If you try to stop him, he will resent you and then grow more angry with you., so all you can do is to just trust him and show that you care, and love him. maybe your support and trust will help him not succomb to any pressures.

Answer 7

To me it sounds like you not only don't trust his friends but that you think that he is too weak to say no on his own. Perhaps you should tell him that way? If it is not something that you want to tell him, then I would recommend finding another boyfriend. By the way, you're only 20 and there are a lot of other guys your age out there that don't do all of that crap.

Answer 8

As long as he keeps going back into the environment that caused his drug problems the risks will always exist. Have a family member with same problem.

Answer 9

i think the biggest problem is that although he has overcome his addiction his friends haven't. You cant give up a substance that is that addicting and still have friends that do it.... as much as i'm sure he loves his friends, he cant be friends with ppl like that and think he's going to stay clean

Answer 10

this isnt wrong at all because you dont want him doing something that it leads to him in bars. tell him that you love him and care for him and you know that he wont cheat on you but i just dont trust your friend.