My brother is a 3 year old monster?

Question

I am several years older then him and and am often the only one forced to babysit. Ordinarily I'd be good, but my brother has just learned things that shouldn't be done. He kicks and punches, and hard, in places like eyes and stomach. He jumps on me and throws hard things. He uses bad language from Shut up to even the f word. My parents refuse to discipline him, and now I can't because he either just laughes at me or hurts me if I stay with him. I have asked my parents repeatedly to discipline him because this behavior is unacceptable, but they say they have better things to do with their time. What should I do?

Answer 1

I am sorry to hear of your situation. It sounds like your parents are not giving you OR your brother the attention and love that you both deserve.

A couple of suggestions:

1 - Talk to a counselor. Your parents are WRONG to be "using" you as a baby sitter and also WRONG for ignoring your brothers abuse of you.

2 - Do NOT use physical punishment or threats with your brother, but let him know that he may NOT hurt you and that you will not let him.

3 - Find some "fun things" to do with your brother. Perhaps if your parents are this clueless overall, he is also wanting attention and trying to get some from YOU by hurting you. Go to this website and try out some of the activities with him and make it really fun for him: www.magicalchildhood.com

4 - Talk to your parents and tell them, without being nasty, that you think your brother needs some attention and that you are going to try to help by doing your part. Perhaps they will see that you are making a great choice in making a change in the household dynamics and perhaps they will take a look at their own behavior.

Good luck!

Answer 2

First of all I feel sorry for this child. Without discipline this childs life is not going to be one of quality.
I would roll up your sleeves and use reward systems for good behaviour. set some house rules and tell them to your brother give him smilie faces and stars for obeying the rules and sit him in a corner for three minutes for breaking a rule if he continues, use time-outs in his bedroom...but only three minutes...its a minute for every year of his life. Time outs should be rare they are an exclusion and a final option.

Do not shout!! he wins as soon as you raise your voice be calm throughout and think of yourself as a school teacher rather than a sister.

Oh yeah when the smilie chart fills up you can take you bro to the park or for a long walk or get money off parents for a small toy.

I am sorry this has fell to you but if someone doesn't do it he will always make your life hell. by you doing this it will strenghten your bond and ,ake for a happier home.

Good luck and email me for more tips my son has ADHD and these techniques help alot.

Never hit a child it tells a child that is normal and OK to do.

Answer 3

The above question clearly gives indication on how responsible the kids are (the asker) and how irresponsible the elders are (the parents). This is becoming the order of the day at many homes globally. This situation has to change and parents should always have priorities for their kids than anything else in the world. The attitude has to change in parents to get a make child.

Children learn from parents and if the parents are irresposible, how can they be good?

I just read a similar question and an answer as below.

The basic issue with the parents are their lazyness to take of the kids. Following are the usual excuses they say to escape from their responsibilities.

1. Children now a days a matured enough to understand and take care of them
2. Children need to adopt to the modern world and this is not wrong.
3. What if they do mistake in our absence? Instead let them do it in front of us so that they stay in limits.
4. Children to be treated as friends and Equally. So let them do what ever the elders do.
5. Children to be given freedom to do what ever they feel to do.

AND SO ON.......

This is really very wrong thinking. Parents should not try to escape from their responsibilities of making a good child. Yes it is hard to handle kids at time, but it is really sweet when you see your kids (once they grow up) gets greeted by the world for their acheivements and behaviour. Parents try to avoid responsibilities when they really can handle and finally end up hearing their grown up kids are in trouble.

I just do not charge the parents who feed drinks to their kids but also who give redundant money / freedom to the kids than what a kid realy deserve for. Also it is the ultimate duty for any parents to keep an eye on their kids.

To be frank, now a days, parents are burried in "so called" issues like, husband - wife conflicts, financial hunt, spending more time out side home / away from kids, and so on. Whats the use in making all the savings and winning a fight against spouse, but finally failing in children rearing? Once you have a child, the mother and father should focus on the child than anything else in their life. Afterall parents made the children and a child is a product of a couple of people. When we thrive hard to market a product produced in your company, it is more responsible to parents to market (make the children perfectly fit to a good world) the children to the world.

Parents not only to understand their responsibilities but to work towards their kids will improve the situation globaly. When I mean kids, till parents are alive a son or a daughter is kid for the parents. No age bar.

Answer 4

oh my gosh! its so not your place to disipline but since you MUST, it will be hard at first but if you stay calm and let him know that when he hurts you it hurts, have him do a time out, take toys away, let him "earn" things he wants to do, make things fun for him,avoid conflict with him... he is 3, be his buddy. talk to him like he is your equal there is so many things that you can do with him to occupy his time that all the bad behaivor will soon go away you have to be patient, he has to find out sooner than later that his bad actions have consequences, since your parents wont step up , you need to lead him in the right direction. otherwise his bad behavior will soon be going to school with him, and then it may be too late to get it under control, little boys are full of so much energy, you just need to figure out ways to occupy that energy. it is really simple you just have to stick with it, take him on walks, show him wildlife, read to him, teach him his letters, numbers, address, birthday... etc. and soon enough he will give you the respect you deserve with out the unrulyness, soon you will look at him and think WOW look what i have taught him!

Answer 5

Wow that sounds like my life.
im 12 and is forced to babysit 4 kids!!!!
one 2 and one 5 so might know how to help you.
put a distracing music video on it alwayes works
tell him that if he hits or hurts you wont play with him anymore or be his friend and leave the house (dont overuse this)
tell your parents hes gone out of control and that your no longer babsitting if he dousnt get better be seruise
Email me if any q's
[e-mail]

Answer 6

You don't need to hurt him, but negative reinforcement is effective. Any time he does something violent, pin him to the ground and don't let him move for a few minutes, while telling him that kicking and punching is not acceptable behavior. After that, suggest some fun activity for him to do. Eventually he will realize it's more fun to play nicely than to have you restrain him.

I wouldn't worry about the swearing.

Answer 7

ummm.. okay when he start doing something bad tell him he will get a timeout if he starts beatin on you.. then sit down on a couch or chair sit him on ur lap wrap ur arms around him to hold him still and keep u from being attacted if he starts kickin u wrap ur leggs around him them wisper to him that hittin and kickin is inapropreatte and he has to sit still in ur lap for 3 mins befor u will let him up. then tell him ur going to count to 60 3 times and every time he acts out or trys to get away start over after a coulple times he will get the hint and sit in timeout on his own.

or u could let he run wild and destroy the house (making sure he does hurt himself in the prosess) and then ur parents will have no choice but to see how bad he is..

Answer 8

Tell you parents that you are going to take controll of this problem if they wont

if they do then its done with
if they dont then you tkae matters into your own hands

my actions would be this

Bad language (depeneding on the word):
Sit in corner for one hour
sit him down and wipe him with belt with pants down
(you have to know what your doing with this though)
go downstairs (or were ever your breaker box is)
turn off the eletricity to his room lock him in there and tell him he is going to sit in there for 2 hours

Physical Attack (depending where) :
Hit him in the same place
go outside tell him you are going to wrestle and pin him and get him under controll and cause him pain
just smack him across the face

Throws a object (harder the object harder you go)
say he throws a book knee him in the back not very hard though

if he throws a toy take all his toys away

if he throws something that really hurts go into the kitchen grab a pair of sizzors sit down ontop of him and cut of small peice of his hair (this is a little dramatic but he will learn)



I have 2 little brothers this always works

if he threaten to tell his parents tell him you are in controll now if he dont listen smack him or take something away that he likes

Answer 9

Just tell your parents that you refuse to babysit him until they get him under control. Then they will have no choice.

Answer 10

You start to discipline him or when he get older hes going to run over you.