I am always thinking my boyfriend doesnt truly love me, he just says he does to spare my feelings. Yet he treats me with love, and respect. I often say things just say I know for sure he still cares about me. The other day I asked him "If we broke up could u still be my friend?" and he's like "Why are you breaking up with me?" and I'm like "no!" but him just getting worried like that, made me calm and relaxed for just a minute. Why is this?
2007-07-28 18:49:57 · 32 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He says he loves you, he treats you with love and respect. You could just accept that! Your life and his would be much nicer. Is there something inside you that makes you feel unlovable -- that you can't trust that he loves you, no matter WHAT he says?
Work on that and quite testing the poor guy. Love him without condition and let him love you.
2007-07-28 18:55:48 · answer #1 · answered by Moe 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Insecurities like this are very normal. When you are with someone you care about it is natural to worry about the status of your relationship even to the point where you aren't satisfied if everything is going "too well." You said he tells you he loves you, but your mentality is that he tells you this to spare your feelings. It could be that he truly does and you are not used to things going this well for you so you revert to the "too good to be true" idea. Good relationships are based on trust. If you trust your boyfriend then you can believe what he says.
You can't tell that someone loves you from the things they say. It's in their actions. This does not mean to pick up on meaningless details. Let your judge of character determine whether or not he is geniuine. Most importantly be honest to yourself. People often lie to themselves to make themselves feel better about their relationship (or in some cases they lie because they cannot accept the simple fact that they are in a solid relationship).
I hope this helps.
2007-07-28 18:59:36 · answer #2 · answered by firefingers100 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are haveing trust issues. That is probably caused by something in your past. My favorite motto is "actions speek louder than words". I can almost garuntee that if he was saying it to spare your feelings then he would not be acting the way he does. If he really didnt love you he would not act like it or treat you with lots of respect. Remember women are emotional creatures. We have no problem saying the words I love you. We are built that way. Men, however, have a harder time saying what they feel. I think you are asking him little questions to be reasured that he loves you. This is a very dangerous thing because he will feel like you dont trust him. Trust is the number one issue that keeps relationships going. If he didnt love you I think he would be showing it in his actions. It sounds to me like he really does love you. I would believe him, and show him you trust him. Think about this, how would you feel if he were asking this question about you.
2007-07-28 18:59:32 · answer #3 · answered by Tina S 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i don't think many guys like to express themselves a lot and maybe you should tell him how you feel with things he could do to make you feel better. Or, you could be having trouble being happy with your relationship and you should calm down and keep a positive attitude about your relationship because if he didn't mean it he wouldn't worry about your relationship with him or treat you with love and respect. You might know that already and that's why you feel comforted by his worry
2007-07-28 19:04:42 · answer #4 · answered by babyg0323 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because you're so insecure, you're addicted to him reassuring you that you're okay.
Why can't you value yourself enough to know that you are worth loving? If he treats you well and you truly love him, why do you want to torture him with all these crazy questions? Do you really need to feed your own ego so badly that you have to make him prove his love to you every day? Several times a day?
Honestly, if you don't believe your boyfriend doesn't love you, leave him alone and find one who does. But this guy's been tolerating your crap for this long. Doesn't that speak volumes about him?
Yeah, hon, the problem is with you.
2007-07-28 18:56:27 · answer #5 · answered by ann81969 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You are very insecure and so you seek reassurance from your boyfriend over and over again. I can guarantee you that he will break it off with you one day if you continue to act the way you do. Men want a woman who is self-confident and assured in herself.
A word to the wise is sufficient.
2007-07-28 18:58:04 · answer #6 · answered by Sage 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are playing games w/him because you lack self confidence. What it also may be is that you don't truly love him. Young girls who are head over heals for a guy are often blind to (don't want to see it) when the guy doesn't love them back.
2007-07-28 18:55:58 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
could be a lot of reasons. you could be insecure, cheated on, didn't have the proper attention when you were younger... could be a lot. I was cheated on before and before my husband and I got married, I was the same way...I still am kinda to this day. I was cheated on A LOT and also b/c I love him so much I couldn't stand to loose him. To make a long story short.
2007-07-28 18:53:54 · answer #8 · answered by mommy2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you even doubt that he doesnt truly love you then something is wrong. he probably hasnt shown you that he loves you. and if thats the case you need to talk to him and tell him. but dont ask questions to see if hes loves you, thats not the way to go about it. he can say whatever he wants to make you think he loves you but does he show it?
2007-07-28 18:54:28 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that the real question in this case is why do you doubt his feelings for you. Has he given you any reason to do so? Why are you thinking of what could happen if you broke up?
2007-07-28 18:54:41 · answer #10 · answered by Lola 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋