should my 4 year old daughter know about pubic hair?

Question

the other day my daughter told me her older cousin told her about pubic hair, what should I have responded? am i making a big deal?

The cousin is a she, she's 9 but acts like shes 6. I talked to her mother & didnt think it was a big deal.

Answer 1

That was not OK. You need to find out in what context the cousin told her this info(make sure there's no sexual stuff going on). Once you deem it was innocent, then be honest with her-without getting too complex-remember she's only 4. Say something like when people become grown-ups they grow hair in weird places, like on their privates. She may have more questions but remember-answer honestly without getting into too much detail.

Answer 2

First I would speak to the older cousin and admonish her for talking to your daughter about this subject.

Secondly, since she already did, I would need to know the level of understanding that your daughter has. You can either dismiss what the cousin said or you can address the issue in an honest manner.

It is my opinion that your daughter is too young to understand what she was told by her cousin. I think you should contact the cousin and insist that this kind of conversation is inappropriate and that he or she discontinue this type of information or conversation. As a parent, it is your responsibility to protect your child and if you have found out that another member of the family is engaging in this behavior, then you should put a stop to it immediately.

Answer 3

What exactly was she told about pubic hair? Has she never seen you nude to see that you have hair there? I'm not sure the issue here. My daughter will be 4 soon and she knows that mommies (women) have "hair on their bottoms", and little girls don't. She knows that when she grows up she will have "hair on her bottom" also. She has also seen her father nude and noticed that "daddy has hair too" but that her little brother doesn't. She understands that adults have hair in places that children don't. It is normal for children to be curious about physical differences at this age.
I agree that your 9 year old niece should not be talking about private matters with your daughter. That is something you need to discuss with your niece. Tell her that you are the mommy and you will talk to her about private things... like her private parts. But as far as your daughter goes, there is nothing wrong with her knowledge.

Answer 4

I think its normal for the 9 yr old to be talking about pubic hair, that is their time in childhood where they are learning about sexual things, not necessarily sex in it self, but exploring their own body. I could almost bet you that if the 9 yr old had seen a tv show that talked about pubic hair, or even heard someone else talking about it, she would probably just bring it up again as a way to make herself look older, or more cool then the younger one. She is only 9, and I would still question the 9 yr old as to what lead to the conversation, bc I know that 9 yr olds like to experiement with things and with themselves. Your daughter on the other hand is only 4. You are not wrong in wanting to shelter her, she is way to young to know! Preserve her innocense as long as possible. I keep thinking to myself each day i go to wrk and see other people and their kids, that children are growing up much too fast. I would hold off and tell her later in life, let her forget about it for now, she is only 4, she should be focused on toys and playing right now. Not what her body may one day look like.

Answer 5

Be honest with her, yes she is only 4 but a child knows when a parent is just trying to blow them off and if you give her a lame answer it will bite you in the bum in the end. My parents always answered all of our questions regardless of our ages, I do my children the same way. Explain to her what it is and that she will learn more when she is older, but dont go into alot of detail. Pay attention to how she plays and what she says so you know what else her cousin is telling her and you can nip any problems before they become problems.

Answer 6

Why is the cousin telling her about pubic hair? There is more than meets the eye here. You need to talk to the cousin and find out why they were talking about this subject. This does not settle well with me.

Answer 7

You're making a big deal. There is nothing wrong with a 4 yr. old knowing about pubic hair. I'm guessing that most 4 yr. olds have seen either mommy or daddy in the bathroom at some point anyhow.

Answer 8

I am surprized your child hasn't seen you coming out of the shower or dressing and hasn't seen it yet. My child who is now 7, when she saw it for the first time asked me why there was hair there and I explained it to her. In about 10 minutes she came back to me and said I like my vagina the way it is and I don't want hair on mine. I said kind of chuckling to myself.. well okay then. I have raised all my children knowing what to expect and when to expect it so there would be nothing shocking. I think if you tend to make a big deal of it she will keep on asking and asking, but if you provide a simple honest answer it will satisfy her and she will move on.

Answer 9

I would grin and say, "wait till you are older". No one should be concerned about pubic hair unless they have it. If you tell her anything about it, then she will start becoming more curious by sneaking into the bathroom when you are naked just so she could see it and you don't want that(scary thought but wouldn't rule it out). It just would not be a responsible thing to do.

Answer 10

doesn't settle very well with me either. why was a 9 year old talking to a 4 year old about pubic hair? seems slightly strange for a 9 year old to be talking about pubic hair to anyone. i would not make a huge deal to my 4 year old about it, but i certainly wouldn't let her be alone with the 9 year old again.