First, my father's brother passed away about ten years ago leaving a wife of three years. My family hardly ever got to know her and did not have much of a relationship after his death.
My mother was adament that she was not invited to my sister's wedding, which my father initially agreed upon as well. However, his family threatened to not show up to the wedding is my aunt was not invited, therefore my father invited her, also after being handed $1000 from his parents.
About a week later, once my uncle's widow received the invitiation, my father rescinded the invitation, telling her that he only sent it due to the threats from his family. Was this right?
Also, my sister invited one of my friend (well, he's not really a friend, he's someone i've known for the past 10 years amd everyone gets annoyed by). After overhearing from my sister that she did not receive a gift from him, my father calledh im and told him he used poor wedding etiquette. Was this right?
Give yur thughts
2007-07-28 17:58:06 · 7 answers · asked by MLeinart7 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
My mother was floored both of these incidents. My mother was not told about the invitation until after he had sent it.
Also, I did not know about this threating phone call my father made to my friend until a few days later when my friend told me about.
I am also interested in your thoughts on my father and why he would do such things.
2007-07-28 17:59:34 · update #1
I would run away from home if I were you.
However to answer your question; no, it is not proper wedding etiquette on your father's part.
2007-07-28 20:04:05 · answer #1 · answered by Patti C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow..what meddlesome and controlling parents you have...It is the bride & groom's descision who is or is not invited to a wedding. Parents can be helpful with the list but the final decision is the couples! And as for presents, that is entirely up to the guests not anyone else! A guest is invited to share the joyeous occaision, and yes it's traditional to bring a gift it is not mandatory. Personal circumstanes may not afford a guest to bring a gift but they should still be more than welcome to the ceremony & reception if they are invited! Demanding a gift by the father is extremely rude & in poor taste! I would be horrified if I were the bride or groom & my parents behaved in such a horrible manner!
2007-07-29 01:25:44 · answer #2 · answered by evemarkra 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What your father did on both counts was wrong, very wrong. I find it interesting that he would chastise someone over what he thinks is a lack of etiquette! I know you must be quite embarrassed by your fathers actions. I am wondering, with the death of your uncle, does your dad feel she had something to do with it? Obviously, there is a reason why your dad didn't want her at the wedding. Also, I wonder why your sister would find it necessary to say who did not give gifts!!!! Was she checking her guest list against the gifts she received??? Bringing a gift is proper, but not mandatory. Wow, it sounds like a mess over there. Good luck to you.
2007-07-29 01:14:22 · answer #3 · answered by candace b 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's incredibly wordy.
That was very rude of your father to tell her [your aunt] that. It's not flattering at all, and it sounds like she's not even wanted in her own 'family'.
Thing is, when your aunt was married into the family, she's in the family. Even after your uncle died, because it's not her fault he died after three years of marriage [unless murder, but she'd hopefully be in jail instead of a wedding].
And your sister and the 'friend' invitation...now who's wedding was this that he never bestowed a gift upon?
In the end, however, it's up to the bride and groom [parents are entitled to their suggestions, sense they help out with the bill].
2007-07-29 01:11:39 · answer #4 · answered by Licorice 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your father needs to get a grip...the couple should have the final determination as to who is or is not welcome at their wedding
your father is embarassing your family and I think he needs to stop...if I was your mother and sister...I would be completely humiliated
sometimes family and friends are rude...it doesn't mean their horrible people....maybe they don't view the same things as seriously as your family does in regards to wedding etiquette...it's not a course taught in school you know
2007-07-29 01:21:40 · answer #5 · answered by Mel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bottom line: whoever is footing the bill for the wedding is in charge of the guest list. I would never deliberately exclude a family member without an extremely good reason, but that's me. Your uncle's wife married into the family, so she's family. Your uncle died; she didn't divorce him.
2007-07-29 01:03:15 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
your father wants nothing but the BEST for his girls. (it's been like this from the beginning of time) he did what he thought was best at the time. it might have been wrong, but he had her best interest at heart.
this is the reason i'm 'for' justice of the peace weddings. no drama.
2007-07-29 07:30:18 · answer #7 · answered by craina c 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋