hi,hope u ppl won't mind answering my question.i have no one to share or ask bout this problem.?

Question

hi,hope u ppl won't mind answering my question.i have no one to share or ask bout this problem.
i'm turning 29 this month.i belong to a strict family.to make it short .the point is i went 2 some ct
to attend a wedding their a guy followed me n gav me his number.i took it n called him.there in anotherct, with cousins
i met him.my parents r insane.they hav ruined our lives.they dont let us go out.always fighting
n have made up our minds in a way that v dont like going out or even having friends.v live like animals,
isolated.hav studied til high school.had friends but mom n dad made all of us siblings leave them.the
guy n i hav been talkin since ayear.he has asked me in the very beginning that he wanted to marry me.i
used to ask him n than he wud say his parents didnt agreee.now he told me that he has talked to his parents
n they hav agreed upon the condition that they will tell my parents bout us that v hav chosen each other.
i told him not to coz my parents wud kil me n refuse.than his parents called n said so but he(the son)
disconnected the fone.his parents called again n talked.he didnt let his parents say this to my parents
.now he told me that v shud do the wedding ceremony in his ct as his parents wont come to my ct.i told
him that this wud be harder 4 my parents coz marriage is done by the gal's family n valima is done by
the boys side.the arrangements thier wont b possible, very limited ppl wud com from my side.i told
him ,he said my parents hav agreed n they hav asked me not to say anything again.my parents dont want me
to get married.i dont hav a career.hav no life.staying home since childhood.seems like im in asylum.
brother got married by fighting n as he is the only son ,dad agreed.bro doesn't work so dad has been
looking after his wife n kid.he has been giving bro money 4 business which goes wasted.father is retiring
in few months.dont have a house of our own,living on rent.i hav another sister who is is 26.if ppl
come for our proposal mom nevers sits wid them.dad says marry my relatives.his relatives r villagers v
cannot marry them.brother has become selfish.he wants to hav the money doesnt want us to get married
either.1 sis got married.she doesn't care if v ever ask her to help us out.she only comes when she wants
us to babysit her kids.i m looking very old due 2 stress.hav turned pale.hav no way out.shall i stand up
4 this guy if i do i hav no idea whether my father wud go for the maariage in another ct as his parents
r also against me.i hav told him mumerous times that v shud do court marriage he says if nothing
works out v both shud go on our separte ways..i asked the guy wat if my parents say no,he said let's
stop it as it isn't in his hands.'i dunno wat will happen.parents r old.i m not allowed to work outside
or even leave the house.if i marry this guy he's not helping me in convincing his parensts.dunno about
his family.wat shud i do?if i dont marry him i know i hav no chance of getting married again at all.
all the gals of my age n younger r married with kids.few of my friends r not amrried but ther
r independent.i wish i cus commit suicide.i hav planned if i dont get married to this guy i will
kill my self.u ppl wil say to go out n take a job.i'm in fear.i hav lived in fear how can i start
working or going out.i wish i cud leave this country than it wud b possible but who will help me
in getting to an asylum as life here is not possible.pleeze help me.i dont want to liv like this

Answer 1

This is a Hugh letter you are 29 when are your parents go to cut the apron string stand your ground do not let them make you do anything you don't want to,have you got friends to help you to find some where to live or go to while you get on your feet if you have no money no job or no life you need to start and if you don't have these things then your parents are holding you back as so to have to so-lie rely on them so you will do as your told this is sad they want to own your very existence and not give you the chance to grow up and leave the nest get help find a friend or go to your local church or woman's refuges they will help you go down the right path to help you good luck I hope you find yourself don't let them win and that means with your life as well don't give up easy you can do this !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 2

That's terrible!! First of all, you are almost 29. You can do whatever you want. 18 is when your parents have no more control over you. If you really love this guy, say yes to his proposal. Don't be fearing what it is like in the real world. Your parents may have told you how evil and cruel the real world is but, it is only as evil as you make it. If you marry this man, he will support you and help ease you into the world. Don't live your whole life in fear. There are so many things to see. What country are you from anyway? Well, it doesn't really matter. I'm sorry to say this and I hope I don't offend you in anyway, but your parents are monsters!! If your family doesn't want you to marry or have a career or anything you want, then they are stealing your happiness from you. Leave them. I promise, once you get out, you will see what you have been missing your whole life. And be happy that you have someone who will be there for you when you do get out, and you won't be alone. Suicide? No. Don't. No one should ever kill themselves no matter how bad their life is. Killing yourself is murder. Except you are the murderer and the victim. You need to ask yourself what you want to do. It's not your parents life, it's yours. Ask yourself, do I want to live my whole life alone? I finally have someone that loves me, what will he do if I kill myself? He may end up doing the same exact thing. Do you want him to take his own life, too? I would say not. Don't you want to know what it feels like to have a baby in your arms and know that it is something that you helped to create? Just run away with him if you can't get your parents to agree. I know it would be hard but, if your parents are keeping you within the confines of your home, then you wouldn't have much other choice. I hope I helped a little.

Answer 3

I am so sorry....:( I don't know what to say... I think that you should start to look for a job to start with... because it will get you on the right path to independence... You won't have to depend on your parents... Then when you are stable and have enough money you should consider marriage again... The thing is that if he really loves you he will wait for you ... because when you are independent things get so much easier, anyways... I do not think that commiting suicide is the answer to anything.... I know that when people commit suicide or talk about it, it makes me depressed... so you guys should wait... you have all of the time in the world to get married and have kids... just live life and be happy...

Answer 4

You are breaking my heart. Not anywhere in this do I see where you love this man. Do you love him or are you just thinking he is your only escape from your family?

You CAN get out if you want too. You will need an education which I am assuming you don't have. You are smart enough to get out on your own, you just need the help. There are organizations which will help you. Womens group that will help you become independent. You must contact them. You are suffering from domestic abuse and the social services in your area will help you. Or perhaps you should contact a college in your area the explain your situation. A church in your area would help you - don't give up and don't sell yourself short. You can be your own person and you don't have to marry this person to do it. If you love him and want to marry him then ,fine, you still need an education. You need to be able to take care of yourself. Go to your mental heath center and get some counseling! Hang in there girl, you can DO this! Good luck to you!

Answer 5

????? This makes no sense at all! You are 29, what country do you live in??

I don't think that you should marry this guy, he doesn't sound as if he is going to be supportive of you or stand up for you.

There are other options than suicide. That won't solve anything. Sounds like your family is pretty messed up.

Don't have any real answers for you on this. Can you go to a doctor for help??

Answer 6

The first thing you should do is learn to express yourself clearly in English, and the second thing you should do is to post a clear description of your problem in English. Once you have done that, someone might be able to help you. As long as you can write interminable tirades in your own bizarrely encoded argot, nobody will ever understand what you are trying to ask.

Answer 7

I couldn't understand all of your shorthand but it sounds like you need professional help and/or the police. You shouldn't feel locked up by your own family.

Answer 8

i have gone through many of the same things you have. all i can tell you is to get away from them. no matter what you have to do. as long as you allow this behavior to continue, it will and probably get worse. there are womens shelters that you can contact.

Answer 9

i really don't understand this.

if you are 29 and living with your parents, maybe get out on your own?

that way, they won't stick their noses in your business.

otherwise, rewrite the question, use proper spelling and maybe we will understand what you are asking.

i'm oblivious.

Answer 10

umm srry i got lazy and the wasn't exactley to the point