Well, you said it was slow tonight, so here I am to spice it up!?

Question

After a few days, the Lord called to Adam and said, "It is time for you and Eve to begin the process of populating the earth so I want you to kiss her."

Adam answered, "Yes Lord, but what is a kiss?" So the Lord gave a brief description to Adam who took Eve by the hand and took her to a nearby bush.

A few minutes later, Adam emerged and said, "Thank you Lord, that was enjoyable."

And the Lord replied, "Yes Adam, I thought you might enjoy that and now I'd like you to caress Eve."

And Adam said, " 'What is a 'caress'? So the Lord again gave Adam a brief description and Adam went behind the bush with Eve.

Quite a few minutes later, Adam returned, smiling, and said, "'Lord, that was even better than the kiss."

And the Lord said, "'You've done well Adam. And now I want you to make love to Eve."

And Adam asked, "What is 'make love' Lord?"' So the Lord again gave Adam directions and Adam went again to Eve behind the bush, but this time he reappeared in two seconds.

And Adam said, "Lord, what is a 'headache'?"

God says to Adam, "I have some good news and some bad news. What do you want to hear first?"

Adam says, "Tell me the good news first."

God says, "I'm going to give you a penis and a brain. You'll derive from these great pleasure and great intellect."

Adam replies, "Wonderful! But what's the bad news?"

God says, "I'm only going to give you enough blood supply to work one at a time."

Star so others can liven up! :)

Answer 1

God and Eve

EVE: "I've got a problem."

GOD: "What's the problem, Eve?"

EVE: "I know that you created me and provided this beautiful garden and All of these wonderful animals, as well as that hilarious comedic snake, but I'm just not happy."

GOD: "And why is that Eve?"

EVE: "I am lonely, and I'm sick to death of apples."

GOD: "Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for you."

EVE: "Man? What is that?"

GOD: "A flawed creature, with many bad traits. He'll lie, cheat and be vain ; all in all, he'll give you a hard time. But he'll be bigger, faster and will like to hunt and kill things. I'll create him in such a way that he will satisfy your physical needs. He will be witless and will revel in childish things like fighting and kicking a ball about. He won't be as smart as you, so he will also need your advice to think properly."

EVE: "Sounds great," but what's the catch?"

GOD: "Well,.....you can have him on one condition."

EVE: "And what's that, dear God? "

GOD: "As I said, he'll be proud, arrogant and self-admiring... so you'll have to let him believe that I made him first. And it will have to be our little secret... you know, woman to woman."

Answer 2

Too bad I'm not at work! I could start talking about the hot seccurity guard I like to flirt with! That would spice things up!

Answer 3

He he . . . I'd say Adam was between a rock and a hard place. What a quandary.

Answer 4

BLASTphemy