I have a 3 and 2 year old and every time we are out in public with my mom she does not let me discipline them. Today we tried to go out to eat and while waiting my kids started acting up and when I tried to tell them to sit down my mother scolded me,so I got my 2 kids and left her there. I had enough I dont my kids to be out in public and act like maniacs!! I have told my mom tons of times they are my children not hers!! What should I do!!
2007-07-28 12:29:15 · 12 answers · asked by sassy1218 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I have the same exact problem. If my children act up and my mom is around I still discipline them. And my mom just about faints every time!! Good for you for standing up and doing the right thing. It is pretty hard because you know darn well that your mom didn't allow you to behave the way she allows the grandchildren to. This seems to be the case for everyone I know. You just need to make this point to her. They are your kids, you will raise them as you wish. Let her know you love her and you know she loves her grandchildren, but unless she wants them to grow up to behave like spoiled rotten brats, she needs to allow you to correct them when they are wrong. When my mom starts to act up about discipline, I always look at her and say, "Would you have allowed me to behave this way? What would you have done"? Then continue with what you know is right. Disciplining your children.
2007-07-28 12:35:22 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋
Print off this page and all the replies.
Then the two of you need to discuss when the kids aren't around. Find out why she feels the way she does.
Ultimately Grandma needs to know that its now your decision.
Remind her you are the daughter she rasied, remind her how she disciplined you when you were younger.
As a general rule, taking children that young out to eat just isn't a very good idea.
2007-07-28 19:38:46 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
give your self a week to calm down then call your mum(if she hasn't called you) and tell her calmly how you feel and you think it would be best if you didn't shop together any more with the kids. I agree with you. Kids need to know how to behave in public and unless we teach them how else will they learn
2007-07-28 22:04:32 · answer #3 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes ..scolding you in public is not acceptable .Leaving the table with the doting grandmother..is heartbreaking.I have a toddler and a preschooler but i have a mother who fortunately listens and agrees with my mwthods of raising my children.
We all love our mothers and no one in the world knows us or loves us more than our mothers.Communicate with her.
Telling your mom they are your children not hers is absolutely accurate.The manner you are telling her is also important.I sensed a lot of tension between you and your mom..resolved emotional baggage, tell her of the importance of her respecting you as a mother now.If you dont do it now..when?
Life is too short..We do not want to hurt the people we love and then regret when they are no longer with us.
"Mothering is a necessity and Grandmother is a luxury"
Just as you and me are new to motherhood she may be new tgo grandmotherhood..so we are anxious mothers and they are excited grannies..Give them that luxury but of course after the both of you have sat down and communicate your needs and expectations.My mom found this fridge magnet in one of the stores that reads, "If i had known grandchildren were so much fun, I would have had them first."
All the best and take care of ourselves before we take care of our little ones..
2007-07-28 19:45:21 · answer #4 · answered by World 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I wish I had read this when my kids were little. Oh, I should have left my mother in law a few places! She was always, "Oh, they're fine. Leave them alone." I never thought of just leaving her! Excellent parenting and daughter-ing. I don't think you need advice, you seem to have a handle on this thing already.
2007-07-28 19:55:01 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
to save feelings try to tell her that you will greatly listen to advice but it dose not mean u will fallow it....explaine to her you are the mom now and with her support you want to determine best punishment if she still dose this to you then what you did by taking them home was wonderfull, you let her know you ment it and that might take a while to really sink in...also remember that it dose truely kill a grandparent to see the babies in trouble you might be surprised how you feel when the time comes for you
2007-07-29 03:20:33 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You are right and your Mom is wrong. They are your children and it sounds like you know your stuff. You can't have her countermanding you infront of them - they won't know which way is up in the future. You need a firm talk with her and get it sorted before they get old enough to notice this. Good luck.
2007-07-28 19:39:00 · answer #7 · answered by cobra 7 · 2⤊ 2⤋
my mom had the same problem with my grandmother just tell her firmly that YOU are the mother NOT her ! and if she gets mad she will deal with it you had the kids you are the one to disciple them. best wishes ! And good luck
2007-07-28 19:46:23 · answer #8 · answered by Paitin C 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think you did the right thing, just as long as it's not too traumatic for the kids. (Be sure to tell them they'll see Grandma again.)
2007-07-28 19:35:25 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
You are right. They are your kids and you get to choose how to parent them.
2007-07-28 21:29:07 · answer #10 · answered by no one 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋