Have i the right to be annoyed??

Question

Im getting married in 5wks time. Last night me and me husband to be went out. After a while i decided to go home as i had 3 kids at home and thought i'd betta go as 1 of us had to be in a fit state to look after the kids. My 2yr old still gets up in the night to get into bed with us and a 8mth that still wakes up for a feed. My partner on the other hand stays out getting pist and makes a tit of himself while out. This however results in him getting punched by a landlord of the local pub and also results in a bloke that is supposed to be doing entertainment for our wedding to cancel our arrangments.
This landlord owns 2 pubs that we go into and this bloke doing our entertainment is running one of these pubs and feels now that he cant do it all because my other half did what he did last night.
I am seriously pist off with it all. Am i right to even feel this way? or am i over reacting? Bearing in mind my wedding is only 5wks away and im now left with finding other entertainment?

Hi there kitten, im sorry your going through what your going though but my man to be is in fact a very good dad and family man. We dont go out that often and he doesn't drink at home. It's only when we got out does he act this way. I just wanna say how thankful i am on you sharing your experiances with me i do hope things turn out ok for you!!

Can i also say he's BARRED from both these pubs for LIFE!!!!!!! Bin to see both landlord and lady and they aint Happy!!

Answer 1

first of all...let my say I laughed my a** off when you called him a tit. you just made my day...but apart for that...yes you have every right to be annoyed. first off, a guy getting married in 5 weeks should be way more responsible then that and should have came home to help you care for the kids. its crazy that he should be making a fool of himself like that. and I would be angry about the guy that is supposed to do the entertainment for cancelling on you. yes, your fiance acted like an a**, but to go and cancel with only 5 weeks left based on I drunken night is just not right. for all he knows your fiance could act like that on a regular basis or be worse just that he doesnt see it and that would be ok for him do to the entertainment, but becuase he sees it happen 1 time hes cancelling. thats not very professional of him either. if he works in a pub he should be used to seeing this kind of thing happen...that doesnt stop him from working there does it? wow...I feel so bad for you. I hope things work out.

Answer 2

Ok the first thing you need to do is make sure that your priorities are right and that whatever happens, you children ALWAYS come first, so you were right to get home when you did. I am not making excuses for the other half, but is this a regular thing? Is it something he does every time you go out?If it is, then maybe you ought to address his drinking issues before getting married. It is not right that he should subject your children to this kind of behaviour at any age, let alone as young as they are. If it continued after your wedding and the children grow up with this kind of role model, could you imagine what things may be like for them when they are older!! If it isn't, make sure that when you have a little time together, you need to make sure that he knows that he has really dissapointed you and has put an extra amount of stress on the wedding arrangements because of the entertainment being cancelled due to his stupid drunken behaviour. I really hope things go ok and that you have a fantastic day!!

Answer 3

Sure u have a right to be annoyed. ur embarrassed in front of people that know about ur wedding . now u have to start from scratch to set up entertainment,what was he thinking.Is this regular behavior for him? You have children to raise, U don't need another. [he has 2 grow up ] I'd give him the word is getting drunk or, us me and the kids.If u have this now before marriage what after?Let him choose ,a once in awhile outing is exceptable but a drunken brawl.He would come home with me ,or sleep at the bar.If u don't say no they won't. Booze will be the mistress, if u don't stand ur ground. U were looking when U found him their like trains,another will be by soon.Wishing u the very best.

Answer 4

Yes I would be very angry, it's totally irresponsible to behave that way, as an adult he should know better. In this day and age getting drunk and getting into a fight is even more stupid because you never know if the person you are fighting with has a weapon or not on them, in the UK people get stabbed for this sort of thing, he needs to remember that he has children and a wife to look after and not get himself into such a drunken state. I guess all you can do is start searching for a new entertainer, and get your future husband to go and apologise, even if the guy still won't do your wedding your husband should still apologise.

Answer 5

How often does you "husband to be" act like this? First of all if you leave make no issue about it he should be leaving the bar too! You both have 3 kids in common...there's no reason for him to be hanging out and you going home to deal with the kids....how much of that are you going to deal with? How many fights has he gotten into?
Every arrangement he screwed up due to his drunkenness he would be liable to put back in place...i would not do anything...I'd let him know this marriage is on the line, due to his behavior...hell you can do bad by yourself. What's next? A cop at the door saying your husband has been arrested for striking an officier??
You got some thinking to do..

Answer 6

Yes i think u have every right to be annoyed with him. I think if this is something he is doing everytime ye go out, maybe u shud have some serious words with him, Does he feel bad about what he did?? or does he see nothin wrong with it, maybe the next time ye go out u shud make a deal that he goes home early an u stay out with the girls!!!!!

actually on second thoughts, Let him prove how much he is sorry an let him find the entertainment for ur weddin,!! why shud u do work if he done the crime!!!!! the best of luck with it all

Answer 7

Yes you have the right to be annoyed I think that anyone would be in this situation. I think that your partner needs to go and do some apologising and very quickly so that you can get this all sorted out. Also it might be an idea if you go with him to make sure that fences/ bridges are mended hopefully if you explain to the entertainer that at this late stage it will be hard to get anyone else, he will understand.

Just to help things along it might be worth saying that you don't mind i your partner is barred in the future but it is your special day and you would appreciate it if wasn't ruined. Hopefully he will have a heart and agree to do it

Answer 8

You can defend him and say he's a good dad but the fact of the matter is that he got so drunk he is now barred for life from 2 pubs. I don't know anyone who has even been kicked out of a bar let alone banned. Your fiance has a drinking problem. I would not marry him until he gets help.

Answer 9

Forget the wedding entertainment arrangements. It sounds like your hubby to be is getting a bit of a drink problem, it is clearly affedcting his judgement, his socialising and more worryingly, your life too.

Talk to him. Tell him you'r e about to marry him but you're worried he's on a rocky road to alcoholism. Get him when hes ssober, not hung over, not on his way top the pub. You owe it to yourself and your 3 little kiddies to tackle this head on.

My ex husband started like this, got in squabbles with our neighbours, our local landlord...i am currently divircing him for alcoholism/ abuse. $ years into the marriage, things got so out of hand hew picked a fight with a bunch of "kids" and got kicked nearly to death, head stamped on and everthing.

You are definately not over reacting. You sdound like you're under reacting, to be honest!

Answer 10

You are right to be annoyed! God, men!
they can't be let out on their own!
He messed up the wedding plans, let him sort it out. Tell him to go grovel an apology to the landlord, and see if the booking will go ahead; alternatively, he is going to have to come up with something else.......look, the world is full of pubs, inns, hostelries, places that will cater for your wedding at short notice....are you sure you still want to marry him?