My fiance proposed in February but it was very unexpected! We were in between kisses and he was saying he loved me and wanted to be with me forever, then asked "will you be my wife?" and I didn't even hesitate a split second and said YES!!
I know it's not the traditional on one knee proposal but OMG I was so happy after he asked! I told my mom and she's very excited for the both of us, however, she keeps asking me if he's going to get me a ring... I told him and her that I didn't want a ring. I know he'll probably get one anyway lol which I will love and he did give me a bracelet that I wear every single day that belonged to his father. If he gets me a ring and gets on his knee then I'll have two wonderful proposals from him to remember but it's still not necessary to me. My mother on the other hand looks at me like I have 3 heads because I don't need an engagement ring I just want us to have wedding rings when we exchange vows.
2007-07-28 09:44:12 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I also reminded her that my father bought her an expensive blue diamond engagement ring and she lost it!!
2007-07-28 09:44:55 · update #1
captain s: I see what you mean, but to me the commitment is the actual vows you take, and engagement is time for preparation for those vows. My father didn't exactly step up to the plate, my mother picked it out and told him what to get and they were divorced while I was a teen. To me him asking me to be his wife and spend the rest of our lives together is the most special thing to me with or without a piece of metal. The wedding ring will symbolize love & eternity between us. (i hope that makes sense)
2007-07-28 10:02:19 · update #2
What's your question? If you are happy with the proposal and don't need a ring that's all that matters.
2007-07-28 09:49:41 · answer #1 · answered by indydst8 6 · 3⤊ 2⤋
Whether or not you wear an engagement ring - or what it would look like if you should get one - is entirely between you and your guy. It sounds like his proposal was pretty spontaneous, in which case he wouldn't have a ring ready. But if you've been telling him since February that you don't want a ring until the wedding, I'd say he's most likely taking you at your word at this point, which is pretty great of him.
A lot of people forget the ring is a symbol of the comittment you've made; it's not the comittment. Also, he's given you a symbol in the form of his father's bracelet. I think that's lovely.
Your mother isn't the one getting married here, you are. Do it in the way that works for you.
I know I had a couple people tell me I wasn't really engaged when they saw my ring because there's no diamond in it...but I wouldn't have wanted a diamond. It just isn't my style. Now I've been married for fourteen years, and my guy and I are still besotted with one another. Rings? Well, I wear a silver frog and my mother's wedding ring. He doesn't wear one at all. Doesn't change a thing other than how much we spent on jewelry.
So if you don't want a ring other than the wedding band, don't bother. It won't change how engaged you are now or how married you are then.
2007-07-28 11:35:19 · answer #2 · answered by gileswench 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think you both have the right idea. It's the commitment, not the material things, that make an egagement and a marriage work!
If your mom doesn't understand that, then don't worry just tell her that is how you want it.
Reading the other posts I think it's ridulous that some people would think that you not really engaged without a ring or a diamond? Gimme a break, some people don't like diamonds!
Anyway I think you are off to a great start and have your priorities in the right order, I am sure you will have a happy life!
2007-07-28 16:21:34 · answer #3 · answered by Reba 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't have an engagement ring either, and my wedding is in 3 weeks! I'm going to have a non-traditional wedding ring as well- it's an emerald set in silver, with diamonds as accents. It's an estate piece and not something mass produced from a jewelery store, or I would link you to a picture.
Some people are just stuck in the typical, traditional way of looking at it. Though really, engagement rings have only been vogue for the past century or so. Before that, there was just one ring, or nothing at all, just a ceremony.
2007-07-28 13:30:04 · answer #4 · answered by Queen Queso 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi, don't worry about not getting an engagement ring... I'm getting married next year and we decided against engagement rings because (a) there are many other things we could use the money for (b) they do not have as much meaning as wedding rings, since the engagement is only a preparation for the lifetime commitment of marriage.
Having an engagement ring will not add to or decrease the beauty of your relationship, so I suggest that you simply do not react when your mum looks at you like you have 3 heads!
Good luck and congratulations! :)
2007-07-28 10:45:26 · answer #5 · answered by Rakelina 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
That is such a sweet story of how you got engaged!
Don't worry about the ring and pleasing your mother. What you choose is your choice. If you don't want a ring, don't get a ring. I have a friend who has the engagement ring but not the wedding band even though they are married.
Ask your mother which she would rather you have: the engagement ring or the wedding ring? When it comes down to it, you don't really need either. You already got what you wanted: a great guy.
Best wishes!
2007-07-28 09:52:23 · answer #6 · answered by lady_amarna 2 · 5⤊ 0⤋
If the ring was part of a long and happy marriage, yes (if was pretty, of course!). But this ring, while very pretty, is from a FAILED marriage. Give it to her as a present, or the something blue for the wedding, but surely I'm not the only one who thinks he should have given her a (new) ring - one that his father didn't give to the woman he merely married while waiting for the one he really wanted? Bad beginning, anyone?
2016-05-21 03:17:52 · answer #7 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Without a ring and on the spur of the moment I always feel like it's done to appease the woman and hold her off from getting a ring and actually making it an official engagement. It's been 5 months since he asked. I assume the date and location are reserved and all the deposits are in? If not, then something else is holding up the process and it's not just the ring.
2007-07-28 11:23:26 · answer #8 · answered by Luv2Answer 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I think your Mother wants the best of everything for you and that is why she wants you to be formerly engaged with a ring. I am a mother and that is the way I felt when my daughter got engaged. My son in law got down on one knee and gave her the ring in our living room. It was so unexpected and it was beautiful. So I do understand how your mother feels. Don't let your guy off the hook that easy, if he thinks you are so understanding, you may never get anything from him through out your married life. The wheel that squeeks, gets oiled, if you know what I mean.
2007-07-28 18:26:45 · answer #9 · answered by cardgirl2 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Gently explain to Mother that you would rather apply that money spent on an engagement ring would be better served elsewhere. Let her know that the ring is just a symbolic gesture and you dont need it to know he loves you. Sfter all this is your choice, not hers.
I feel for you because if she is dictating this, what is she going to be like planning your wedding.
2007-07-28 11:52:17 · answer #10 · answered by psstoffagain 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My mom had done the same thing - she said we weren't officially engaged until there was a ring and a date. I did get one later. However, now that I'm older and wiser, I do agree that there is something to having an engagement ring - or another piece of jewellery he chooses - because it's a symbol of the promise to marry. It doesn't have to be pricey, or diamonds, etc. - It's the symbolism which is important.
2007-07-28 10:32:43 · answer #11 · answered by Lydia 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋