how can I get out of this, Stuck in a relationship?

Question

Im am in the house 6 days a week non stop, my kids dad is always calling me a retard, stupid, bitc*, exe. He treats me like trash. All of my Identification came up missing, and he wont let me work. My family refuses to help, and I have only one close friend, but she is busy with a family of her oun and is unable to help. I find myself crying in the bathroom everyday. I cannot cry or be upset around him because I get made fun of. He says he has never done anything wrong and calls me crazy, meanwhile he comes home at 8am in the morning drunk swearing at me while putting his fist through the walls. I am thankfull that his kids are #1 to him. he treats them awesome and loves them so much. And so does his parents.
But I am starting to think there is no way out. I have only one option left, that i have thought about everyday. That is to just end everything. Is there no hope? What else can I do?
I would love to hear from someone, please help.
please dont critisize me, I get that here

Answer 1

http://www.womensshelter.com/do/Home

Find a women's shelter near you, and contact them.
Take the kids (or leave them with his parents, whichever you'd feel better with) and go. Get out on your own and put your life back together. You deserve better than this. I would suggest taking your children with you, or you he may get full custody and you might never see them again. Take no prisoners here, don't give him an inch. Leave, and take your children with you.

Once you're at a shelter, you can apply for new identification.. if you had a license, you just have to take your birth certificate to the DMV, pay $10-35, take a new picture, and you'll have it before you leave the office.

You CAN do this.. you CAN succeed. You just have to believe in yourself and take the first step. If you need support, further advice, or just someone to talk to, you can e-mail me.

Good Luck.

Answer 2

That is NO way you should be treated, no matter how well he treats your children. You dont deserve that and im sorry he's been like that.
The only advice i can offer, is to go to Social Services. My mom had this problem with my dad when i was younger, however he was physically abusive. But verbal abuse is just as bad. If it has gotten to the point where personal things have gone missing, especially involving identification and financial information, something needs to be done ASAP.
Mostly with someone who would act like that, of course he's going to say he does nothing wrong. He has the mentality that what he's doing is okay.
The drinking, is the worst part. I dont know the whole situation, but if for now its just verbal abuse, with alcohol involved, it could get worse.
The best advice is to get out of there as soon as possible. If it means staying with your friend for a few days, then so be it. Offer that friend something, such as cleaning (if you dont have the money) or childcare just to help her out if you stay there.
Good Luck with everything and i definetly wish you well.

Answer 3

I wish I could give some useful advice; I have a few ideas, but I'm not sure they'll help.
Does your friend know about your situation? If she does, enlist her help. You'll probably need a friend if you try to leave him. Even if she's busy with her own family, a true friend will help.
If you do leave, get her to take you in, or if neccessary, go to a women's shelter. Take the kids with you. He might try to use them against you or hurt them to get you back. Even if you have to run in the middle of the afternoon with no money and no possessions, it's better than staying. He's a terrible influence on your children, and if he hasn't hit you yet, he'll soon start doing it. It's better for the children to have no father rather seeing their father treat their mother like sh*t everyday.
Please, don't kill yourself. I know you probably don't care what some stranger online says, but you need to keep yourself healthy for your kids' sake. They would never get over their mother's death, and kids who've had suicide in their family are much more likely to have depression or commit suicide. Even if you think no one needs you, people do. There is always at least one person who relies on you, and would be devastated if you were gone.

Answer 4

I was in a similar situation for 6 years. I just got out of it 9 months ago. I had enough and couldn't take it anymore. I left him took my daughter and went to stay at a friends house. Then I got a restraining order on him.... It was a lot more difficult then just that tho.... if u have a messenger, IM me... i have yahoo. Or email me or something and i can try and help u through this. Since i have been where u are.
my screen name is cari210kel or carity210

Answer 5

Take your children (IF you are serious) and move into your local women's shelter. There is no reason a women, men, or children should ever live in an abusive relationship in this day and age. There are many opportunities to just "Get Out" and if you feel that you are being abused then make the move to a better life for you and for your children. And PLEASE always remember that abuse is a vicious cycle that can be brought to the lives of your children's spouses and children It does go full circle. So the abuse that you receive your children are also receiving. So please get out before verbal becomes physical.

Answer 6

You really should get out of the situation. It does not sound good at all

Need to talk some time IM me... I will listen.

Maybe a non-crerdit course at a local college. Something to get you out of the house so your not there 24/7

I have friends that do that all the time. The gal next door does pottery at the local college. It's kewl she keeps making ash trays.... Don't have the heart to tell her I quit smoking 6 years ago.. ( smile) but they are kewl for a change dish... Think about it.

Answer 7

Wow! I first would like to say am sorry for what you are going through. I also want to say that its not your fault. I'm thinking that you are very smart person and you can get out of this. Like they say the best revenge to your husband is show him that you can be independent. What you are going through is emotional abuse. its one of those abuses that bruises the person emotionally. The best advice I can give you is get out this relationship as soon as you can. You do not also want your kids witnessing this especially your daughter if you have one because she will let men treat her like that. Emotional abuse can become a cycle. And nobody deserves to go through it. Find the nearest Domestic violence Shelter. they will assist you and untill you can get on your feet. As for your husband, I will tell you to divorce him and cut all connection. Do not let him near you or your children. You are a very strong person. Hold on tight. Also go to the department of child services or department of human resources . they will help you. go online and read about emotional abuse. There is a self-help book called Safe People. if you can buy it. buy it and read it. Good luck and I wish you the best of luck.

Answer 8

The most important thing is to get your thoughts together and get your brain on-track to improve your life. It sounds like you need to think carefully about what resources you have and how you can use them to get back on track. Think about your options and start making wise choices. Find out what you can do to earn his respect or think about finding a different path for your future. If he loves his children, perhaps that can be useful in convincing him to stop drinking and staying out all hours. I would suggest you insist he treat you with more respect to start with. Second step, start getting your ID's replaced so you can leave him if he doesn't improve.

Answer 9

Call the police and have them take you to a womans shelter. Take a pic of any holes he punched in the walls. You have to get out of there at any cost.
Once you are aout and talk to a counsilor then you will be better off thinking about things
Good luck

Answer 10

You don't want out too bad or you'd find a way. Apply to get your indentification back. When you get it, get a job and leave. And he is not putting his kids first. Because it is not good for them to see the way he treats you. They are going to follow in his footsteps and treat you and others disrespectfully. You just need to help yourself. I mean, seriously. Do you think people just roll over and die if they lose their social security card? No, they contact whoever and get mailed a new one. GEEZ! Get out of there for your children's sake. ....And that was only to be used as CONSTRUCTIVE criticism.