Why I'm Not Attracted To...?

Question

Black men. I am biracial (moms white & dads black). My father was a very negative figure in my life & I believe I had never build any daughter/father relationship. The only feelings I had towards him was hate. How could I be more open towards black men in sexual relationships? I had never dated really b.c all my life I lived in black neighborhoods so I never felt comfortable even flirting. I made very few friends that were black, but they were never the typical negative sterotype of a black person. I look on here & see girls whose mixed w. bw,but they identify themselves as black & date black guys. That seems so foriegn to me... I get the whole culture, but w. ME in the pic is a totally differ vibe. I also delt w. black girl jealousy in school or by random strangers. It's crazy! Idk why, but as a third person, I ask the same thing. I almost feel like I can't have a life living in the ghetto. I don't identify w. it. Most black guys harass me b.c "I'm sexy.." I hate that. Makes me sad.

Answer 1

hey girl. your question really struck me. i have been looking for someone who had the same issue. while im not biracial im black and when i was younger my father left my family because her couldnt keep a job and support his big family. even though i have a soft spot for him, i have had dreams of hating him and disowning him for turning his back on me when i needed him the most. they always say that little boys need thier father...what about little girls.

i dont date black men for that reason. black men are always supposed to be seen as the strong one, but how can you be strong when you leave your flesh and blood and dont want to get right. i have no desire to date black men and i honestly dont think i ever will. while i do find some black men attractive, i will never date them. all i can think of is them leaving me when i need them the most. sexually im not attracted to them.

i think that if you really wanted to you would try to date a black man, a good one, which is really hard to find. you have to branch out for that. tell him your situation and hopefully he will understand. if you dont then it's perfectly fine. we all have a reson for something. it can be done, just take time.

Answer 2

I think beacause your dad was black, and if you want sexual relations with a black man, then somehow that person reminds you of your dad, in the respect that they were both the same colour you understand?

Its a difficult one this, and certainly hard to give a decent answer really.

If you dont identify with life in the ghetto, i think its time for you to move on, becauce if you cant identify, you cant mix really.

If black men harass you because your "sexy" you should not feel sad-they should-because there the worst kind of idiots around-"sexist".

Answer 3

It makes sense. Many black men seem to have a problem with loyalty to their women as well. Follow your heart, it will lead you true. The most important thing is for you to set a course that will lead you to happiness, and the more thought you give that the better.

Answer 4

You can be more open my seeing people for who they really are, not what their skin color is. We put people into too many categories. You may meet a black man who acts white, or a white man who acts black. Look past the race thing. We put each other into too many categories we forget who we really are.

Answer 5

It seems that you answered your own question, but here's what I have to add:

We don't really choose who we are attracted to. It's one of those things that just kind of happens. I'm not saying it's random, it's just something that is either there, or not. Don't stress over it. Maybe if you were to get out of the ghetto - maybe that's what you are telling yourself and you just haven't realized it yet.

Anyway, good luck.

Answer 6

your probably not attracted to black men because you havent been exposed to positive black men ...you probably have more in common with white ppl because your mom is causation and i assume you dont live with your dad so you havent really seen the other side to your roots but i think you should start talkin to guys that are other than causation and you might be suprised how much you might have in common with them but it has too be the right person ...how ever you see your self is what your going to be attracted to

Answer 7

i can't help but i have so many problems with white men i was actually thinking of dating black men yesterday . so this question freaks me out .i'm white and have always dated white men . but they are such jerks, maybe it's just men. any color ! and jealous women are always around if you get more attention . be flattered . i know it's hard when you just want friends and they are jealous . but heck we must be good lookin lolsome's got it some ain't

Answer 8

It is because of the relationship with your father. You will have to get past that hate before you will be able to overcome this problem. If you are not ready to forgive him for him you still have to do it as not to allow hate to rule your life.

Answer 9

if men try to hit on you say back away and go home and if they call you sexy ingore them and tell your mom or any of you famliy members if your parents dont care ask anybody who will take of you and live with them make sure that you know them very good

Answer 10

You want to be appreciated for something more than just your looks and figure. Thats tough if your hot.

I have the perfect solution. Go to blind, deaf and dumb.com and see if you can find a blind mute who doesn't cat call. (There is a special charge for finding one without a libido.)