jealousy??

Question

i get extremely jealous when my boyfriend thinks another girl is pretty. when i was with him and his friend they were rating girls from 1-5 and i asked him what he was doing because i heard him say 0 and he lied about it then i later found out about it and i got pretty mad and he said that it was just for fun but then he told me that no one was prettier than me but that didnt really make me feel any better. how can i control my jealousy???? please help!!

Answer 1

Lady, you feel this way because you have faith in the permanence of physical attributes (a.k.a. looks). The truth is, they all fade with time and circumstance. And there's no shortage of good looking people. You can be (and probably are) drop-dead gorgeous, but so are a lot of other women...you had no control over that; you did nothing to earn that, and it's a credit only to your parents and their genes. Being good looking isn't a competition anyway. The fact that there are maybe 300 million or more pretty women on the face of the earth at the same time as you doesn't make you any less attractive. But placing too much emphasis on things like that (and having a guy stupid enough to reduce women to their physical characteristics as if he was selecting pork chops in the market) will make you "feel" like this is the most important thing in life....trust me, it isn't. Last point: there is a PROFOUND difference between being pretty (attractive, etc.) and being beautiful. Beauty is as much about your state of mind, your self-worth (self-esteem) and the value you place on all mankind as it is about your looks; maybe even moreso. Beauty is something you CAN do something about, because you can do the internal, spiritual work necessary to step outside of a shallow existence and see yourself as God intended you to be...a compassionate, caring individual who seeks to make the world a better place than it was when she found it. A person, (male or female) who does that is a beautiful person, and beauty doesn't fade over time. Pretty people are a dime a dozen; beautiful people are truly rare. Get off the martyr-go-round and enjoy your life to the fullest....and never let any guy (or female, for that matter) put you back on that no-win cycle again. Good luck to you. Believe what I tell you.

Answer 2

Girl that I am not sure anyone can answer. I am big on that too. and I am married... it never ends when you truely love someone and worried to lose him.

But it has to some from inside you.. to know that no matter what you are better than anyone you have the confindence that you are the bomb... let him do it, do not show you are jealous,... I think it drives men letting him know that you are jealous, act like you do not care.. turn the table make him jealous of you,., it feels good. have you ever had some one jealous of you... doesnt it make you feel good, make your head high. I hope the words are coing out right I know exactly what you mean... but do not show your jealousy...

Answer 3

I met my hubby when I was 17....i`ve been with him for 17 years now and am still UNREASONABLY jealous....to the point where we have split up LOADS of times over it.I KNOW there are MILLIONS more gurls out there prettier than me, but, i`me not ugly either and my rational mind tells me that, BUT, my irrational mind builds up all sorts of scenarios that has him having affairs and running off with someone!....he has told me that CONFIDENCE is more attractive in a woman than anything....barr breasts I suppose!!!!....LOL....BUT it`s TRUE!!!!....down the years I have got a BIT more confident, it got to the stage where I REFUSED to go on holiday with him incase he checked out gurls topless on the beach, I was just ruining it for myself!....we went away and I just went topless to!....should`ve seen how jealous he got from the attention I recieved!....ha ha ha!....BE YOURSELF....love him, let him love you and try not to be too paranoid, we all get jealous sometimes and I am totally understanding where you come from, it`s actually a physical hurt inside....DON`T turn him away by constant accusations, enjoy your life together and try not to ask him to rate gurls on their looks. If he says a zero, you will only badger him till he tells you something he thinks you want to hear....it`s not healthy....enjoy being together....HE CHOSE YOU!!!!

Answer 4

Fair is fair. When you have your girl friends around, you gals need to judge other guys. Let him know how it feels to sit and watch others to be judged. Maybe then he will see how it makes you feel by feeling the same way. But in the same breath I am going to say, there are many men out there that look at other woman but are faithful to the one they have. And looking at the opposite sex is only normal for humans to do. Even when your married. God created EYECANDY for all to see!!

Answer 5

Don't worry I get like that too! What I try to do is to just let it go.. so he doesn't think that I will get mad. Men hate a girl with insecurity's. Just have a bowl of confidence, its all about having trust in him!

Answer 6

YOU HAVE GOT TO REMEMBER YOUR BF IS WITH YOU RIGHT?????DON'T YOU THINK SOME GUY ARE GOOD LOOKING?????WELL IT'S THE SAME THING IF HE DIDN'T WANT TO BE WITH YOU HE WOULDN'T HE WOULD BE WITH ANOTHER SO JUST UNDERSTAND THAT'S PART OF BEING A MAN AND A WOMAN ALL PEOPLE HAVE SOME KIND OF BEAUTY IN THEM IF HE DIDN'T THINK THAT WOMEN WERE BEAUTIFUL WOULDN'T YOU WORRY ABOUT IT I WOULD THAT WOULD TELL ME THAT HE LIKES MEN ONLY THAT'S NOT A GOOD SIGN SO JUST SHINE IT ON AND REMEMBER YOU ARE HIS QUEEN NOT THE OTHERS AND HE IS YOUR KING YOU ARE NUMBER ONE IN HIS BOOK OK HOPE THIS HELPS GOOD LUCK

Answer 7

Just give him a bit of freedom, or he will just brake up with you... I mean you dont have 2 be jealous if he is still with you.. Unless he will start dating any1 else.. Just everytime u will get jealous again think about that you bf hates when you get jealous, just like any other guy and he can brake up with you! Good luck :)

Answer 8

hey. don't worry bout it. just ignore it we're guys and we do stupid **** all the time. don't u watch movies and shows? haha guys are stupid and they always mess up so u gotta forgive us and give us some slack. ur being to sensative about it. they were just playing a game it's not like he was saying he would break up with u for her or anything it's just fun and games

Answer 9

You should find the root of the problem. Self esteem maybe? Possibly if you work on your self esteem then you woun't be so jealous.

Answer 10

thats not jeaolousy.......thats disrespect what he is doing. rating a girls is not something he should be doing in front of you or behind your back....so what does his friends rate you at? what rating is his mom? or sisters? no you dont need to change your jealousy he needs to change his actions and be more respectful towards women......if he is not respecting other women what makes you think he will respect you?