A friend of mine and her husband and daughter came to house for dinner the other nite, before dinner my friend came to me and didn't want me to pray before dinner, she had confessed to me that she had not yet taught her 5 year old how to pray. This distured me and said, we always pray and we will be praying tonite. She really never told me why she didn't, and her husband bowed his head, and she refused to talk to me now, did I do something wrong?
2007-07-28 08:51:06 · 16 answers · asked by flannelpajamas1 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Im so sorry this happened to you. We pray as a family at every meal also, whether if at home or a restaurant or at a friends home From the time my daughter was born I prayed with her every night, and as she got older she would recite after me til one night she said "Mommy let me do it by myself" (she was 3 ,I think)
I dont think your friend should have asked to to refrain from praying. I think she should have explained to her daughter before hand. Really she should have taught her daughter about prayer long ago, but to each their own. But she was wrong for asking you to refrain and I think she owes you the apology. But I would advance the olive branch myself to get this matter settled
2007-07-28 09:31:17 · answer #1 · answered by tebone0315 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Parents should set the example and pray with their children. I am a strong believer in family prayer. If the child is young, then the parent should assist the youngster with their night and morning prayers. Children can also bless the food or pray at other special times.
You did not do nothing wrong with your friend. She should have respected your home and prayed with your. It's like going over to my friends house. He is married to an oriental. I take my shoes off when I enter their house.
2007-07-28 21:01:40 · answer #2 · answered by jack-copeland@sbcglobal.net 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's an interesting thought: children do not naturally know how to pray. They've been learning all their short lives how to sort out what is visible and not visible, what is present and not present, what is real and not real. And out of the blue, someone starts talking to someone who is not visible, apparently not present and-- well, she's not holding a telephone, who IS she talking to?
I'm presenting this from the child's point of view. We usually forget what a mystery life is to the very young, who are willing to accept the reality of whatever adults say is real, and are constantly challenged to incorporate new experiences into the categories of knowledge they've already accepted. This is not to demean the ideas of "God" and "prayer", just to point out that it is a big adjustment, requiring a lot of young questions that you and your friend may not wish to settle over dinner.
You may be disturbed thinking about a child who does not "know God", but it is not your place to impose your belief on your friend's children unwillingly. If your friend chose to "explain" the ritual in her own way beforehand, or permitted you to explain it, that would be different. But since she made the effort to ask, hospitality says you should respect her wishes. Your family can pray before their arrival, or pray silently before you eat. (You might simply say, "Let's just take a quiet moment to sit, smell and look at this meal and think about how it, and all of us, came together.") Just don't give the impression that you are trying to pull a trick on your friend. If you truly wish to have an influence over their lives, it is better done by the respect you show than by doing end runs around their chosen disciplines.
2007-07-28 16:24:09 · answer #3 · answered by skepsis 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I don't think you did anything wrong intentionally, but I think she felt annoyed due to the fact that she [for whatever reason] did not want the prayer said around her child.
It's done now and all you can do is say you're sorry. What I would've done is this: I would've told her that for this ONE time, we will not say grace out loud before this ONE meal. (You still could've said it silently to yourself before dinner. God would've still heard it.) But I would make it clear that your family always says grace and you will continue to do that and next time, you will say it out loud. Ask her to please explain it to her child before the next time she comes to dinner, so that everyone can participate.
If the real issue is that she did not want her child to participate, because it somehow went against her own beliefs then she needs to (before her next visit to your home) explain to the child that others do pray and her family can sit quietly for a moment while your family prays. It's called being respectful of others when you're in their home and it's a concept her child should learn.
By the way, I did know how to pray at 5, so her child is not too young to learn now.
2007-07-29 07:32:13 · answer #4 · answered by Michael B - Prop. 8 Repealed! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Praying is just talking to God, I"ve been doing it since I was 3. It is so much easier if we don't make it so holy holy holy. God is holy holy holy but we are the children He created and loved and He can read our hearts He knows exactly what we are thinking. With children with whom I've had 56 years of teaching exp., keep it very simple like : What was special today that you want to thank God for. Kids love rocks and they may seem silly to adults, but as a teacher kids were always bringing me rocks as gifts for years and years and I found that at about 1st grade they love them and are intrigued by them so let them thank God for the rock or dandelion etc. Don't chide them for this, what you were thankful for 10 years ago may not be the same today. Let them be innocent and intimate with God. Just let them talk to Him and remember to ask them to thank Him for one small thing and then they will begin to see God's beauty in almost all of the earth :)
2007-07-29 08:21:14 · answer #5 · answered by I Love Jesus 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no you didn't, just go to your friend to discuss the matter ie give her help/hints on how to go about teaching her 5 year old how to pray,your husband may want to talk with the husband,it would be best likely if you all had dinner and talked about it, but let them know your intentions prior to any discussion. that is if they are still talking to you.
2007-07-28 16:01:35 · answer #6 · answered by fenian1916 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No not at all you were at your house, if this is something that you nomally do in your house then you should be the one offended.
If you were at her house you would expect her to pray? Most likely not.
Lets nor forget about the 5 year child, this child will pick up on so much. Maybe God can use your devotion to him to bring them closer to him through her!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-07-28 16:00:33 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
In situations, like this, it's almost impossible to tell the difference between the adults and the children.
2007-07-28 16:05:47 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
no, you did nothing wrong. and her asking you to not pray is like satan putting a burr in your side and trying to stop you from giving thanks to God. she was a guest in your home and as such, should have never asked you to not pray. If she has issues with it, then she needs to deal with them. Is she a Christian? i would guess not, if she would be opposed to praying and giving thanks for the day and the meal.
you can be assured that you did nothing wrong. that you only need please God... and that comes first and foremost!
be blessed †
2007-07-28 16:06:44 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't see how that was inappropriate in your own home. You were assertive, not antagonistic. Don't let people cause you to back down from your faith. It's not easy, but all things are possible through God who strengthens us. God bless you and your family.
2007-07-28 17:04:43 · answer #10 · answered by suzi q 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋