My 4 year old has started daycare for the first time in his life. He screams and cries when we leave in the morning and the teachers say he stands around crying most of the day, won't eat or nap?! I am wondering how long it takes them to get used to a new place. He was with his grandma all his life so I knew it would be hard but not this bad. Is this good for him to be so upset or should I pull him out and find homecare???
2007-07-28 08:25:50 · 6 answers · asked by Samantha 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
Aww, poor guy. Is there any way you can ease him into it? Can you stay with him for a few hours for maybe a week or at least a few days, and then pick him up early? Will they let you call and speak to him during the day? Can you stop by at lunchtime and spend time with him?
It's just too much of a shock to go from all to nothing. I'd work on transitioning. Good luck.
PS - Be careful with homecare. I've heard lots of horror stories. Check your references really, really well - although that really goes for any type of daycare.
2007-07-28 08:33:53 · answer #1 · answered by Magaroni 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How long has he been going? I would give it at least a month. Let him know you will always come back and that it's okay and he has allot of friends to meet and play with there. Ask the teachers for ideas on drop off. Does he have a picture of you with him? What about a watch to know when you will pick him up (be sure to tell him about a half hour later than what you will pick up so that he isn't scared if you are late). Are you saying a proper goodbye when you leave? Develop a routine that you stay 2 minutes playing with him and then give a big hug and a wave at the window!
2007-07-28 15:37:54 · answer #2 · answered by Donna L 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Back it up a bit! You or hubby take him into Day Care and stay for a while and then take him to grandma's. Next time stay a little longer. Next time leave him for 30 minutes. Next time an hour, etc.
He is telling you he is not able to handle this, and you must respond in such a way as to reassure him he can. Or, you will have to deal with another problem later on! He is communicating as loud as he can. To with draw him is cruel, because it teaches him he is NOT able to be without you. But to leave him there to tough it out and cry all day is also cruel.
Compromise. Sure it is very time consuming. But you will look back at this and be so proud that you listened to your son!
Of course, make sure there is no other reason he is so miserable. Like inappropriate caregivers. Observe while you are there.
2007-07-28 15:37:52 · answer #3 · answered by Still Me 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How long has he been there? The daycare workers are being honest with you about his issues, which I have found to be a great thing. If the school constantly tells you there are no problems, it is cause for concern.
It does take some time. But your son is probably starting kindergarten next year, so getting him used to a school environment is a good thing.
2007-07-28 17:51:43 · answer #4 · answered by KP7689 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
until school age theres really no developmental need that isnt met by mom.
He will get over the crying thing, so long as you make sure not to make it an issue whenever you pick him up or take him there. Just be real matter of fact and move on with the day.
Either way he will survive.
2007-07-28 15:33:41 · answer #5 · answered by amosunknown 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It took my 3 year old about a month before she stopped crying when we dropped her off. The other idea is you may want to look at other daycare facilities.
2007-07-28 15:30:41 · answer #6 · answered by Blue 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋