Does this happen to other parents?

Question

My 12.5 year old can become very paranoid at times. If she sees so much as a black cloud in the sky she will sit in front of the weather channel for hours giving updates on the weather every 5 minutes. Or if we have to go somewhere, she will incessantly watch the clock and start to freak out if we are so much as 10 seconds late going out the door. She also will start asking what we are going to eat hours in advance of meal times and If I don't know for sure what we're having she almost has a tantrum because she thinks she won't get to eat. These are just a few examples of things she does. It drives me nuts when she does these things and I have never given her any reason to be afraid of these things. She also has ADHD and I'm not sure if these things are a part of it or if they may be a separate condition, but I'm just not sure how to handle her when she gets like this. I've tried ignoring her but that seems to make it worse. Any suggestions or experience would be appreciated.

Answer 1

You child needs a good assessment by an experienced mental health provider -- a PhD Child Psychologist would be ideal, or a Social Worker (LCSW) would be helpful, too.

She may have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder or another disorder, which may be very treatable with proper medication and/or behavioral techniques. These professionals can diagnose, then refer you to a competent Psychiatrist who can prescribe medication, if needed.

Important to you: Do not punish her, ridicule her, make fun of her, or belittle her. This is a real concern to her, as real as you being concerned about her running into the street when she was five! Just let her be. Reassure her, give her straight answers with no excitement or big emotion. Just respond as if you are telling her what time it is.

When she is out of the home, or upstairs away from you completely, let down with hubby or a friend on the phone. But please do not add to her feelings of frustration or guilt by getting excited about this in front of her.

Good luck to all of you!!

Answer 2

Yes, this happened to my son about 12.He doesn't have AD HA or anything and this happened. It's from seeing a little too much of the news. It gives them fearful thoughts. God rest their souls but when that Jet Blue crash happened in the everglades my son was about 11 & for years would really argue with me about flying anywhere. Also he saw where someone got shot in a neighbor hood close by & he didn't want to go over there anymore. So I would say she's seen catostrofic things that she fears, and that would be her inclination from doing that. Also maybe a bad car crash from someone rushing somewhere so she want's to leave early. A few of the other peoples addvise was good about being the adult & keeping a better schedual and such would help. Just talk to her too. Ask her what she's scared of. Maybe she does need to see a Dr. for a while.

Answer 3

I was like this as a kid. It drove my mom nuts until she realized what the problem was.

She knows too much for her own good. She feels she has to be in control and know things in advance because the adults in her life seem too unstable.

It can be something as simple as you always asking her what she wants to do, or where she'd like to go or what not.

Be the adult and let her be the kid.

She doesnt have to worry about whats for dinner, and you will let her know when there is something to worry about with the weather. Let her know that you can be the adult and she can trust you to take care of her.

If she's labled with "ADHD" she needs routine, that can also help her realize that she's being taken care of and she doesnt have to worry about it. She can jsut be a kid.

Ive nannied and cared for a lot of kids with ADD and ADHD and learning issues, In all my 14 years with kids ive never met one that really had a problem. it was always a poor realtionship with one or both parents, generally dad, and poor diet.

I know it sounds insane, but after the first 10 kids I started noticing that pattern.

As for OCD, teach her how NOT to be obsessive. Its a trait people learn to have, and she can learn how NOT to have it. Its a control issue, people have it because they feel like theyre out of control. Or in her case, not feeling secure in her role as a child being cared for by the adults in her life.

I know i sound insane, but its true.

Answer 4

You need to make an appt for her. She might have a compulsive disorder. See a therapist. Hopefully this will help the situation out and prevent it from getting worse. She might need to be put on medication. Do you or the father have a family history of things like this happening?

I hope the best for you and you daughter.

Answer 5

While I was reading your question I was thinking to myself, "She must have some kind of disorder." when I read she has ADHD. It's common in children with her affliction. You need to give her a schedule. Tell her everything that is going to happen that day (including what's for dinner) It will calm her down. My son needs a schedule to feel like he's grounded. Otherwise he feels out of control.

Answer 6

a shedule will help a lot. she needs to know whats going to happen that day im kinda like that but dont freak out. about the weather thing you might need to get her into see a doctor.

Answer 7

yeah...ocd is what i was going to say. my husband is like this about certain things but he was traumatized as a child about some stuff too. his grandma used to shove him in a fruit cellar every time it rained (with the best intentions of course) and now he's kind of psycho about weather like your daughter.

Answer 8

Sounds like ocd.