Dealing with Parents of Preschoolers?

Question

I have a summer job at a preschool to pay my way thru college. Wele, I am not 100% sure about everything that goes on. I have had two parents come up and ask why I am not teaching their children how to write their ABC's. My director said the best way to handle it was to write a note to all the parents explaining the concept behind it. Well, I do not know it myself! I understand not all 4 year olds are not ready/willing to learn print and if you force it on them they wil hate it. Can anyone help me write a professional letter to the parents? PLEASE! I would like to do my job well. I am doing the best I can.

Clarification: They expect me to keep the children in desks and have them write their ABC's the correct way.

Answer 1

Four year olds sitting at a desk practicing writing the ABC's is not developmentally appropriate. Children that age should be exposed to environmental literacy incidentally throughout the day. They should be read to daily, talk about the pictures, see print in the environment and many other activities too numerous to mention here. Check out NAEYC and developmentally appropriate practices for ideas on how to address this topic with the parents. Best wishes.

Answer 2

Think about the word "pre-school" and that should be your focus. Before entering school a child is learning to concentrate, to appropriate socialize and share, and to continue to neurologically develop eye-hand and foot-hand coordination. Not all children develop at the same rate.

If you don't know the concept, first why not ask the teacher who has been there for years. That should help you write the letter. If is OK to say, I don't know than to pretend you do and be frustrated and frustate the parents.

And why aren't you teaching the ABC's which means learning to identify the letters of the alphabet, not write or spell. Child love to play games and there are many ways to teach a child to identify the letters. They can learn the alphabet song as they learn what those letters are.

You put the kids name on the blackboard and ask if they know which is there name. Yes, Tommy that is your name and this is a T; keep it simple. Wow, Andy that is your name and an A. Get blocks with the letters and stack them. They kids name, with your help, the letter or number as they stack it.

Put the alphabet on index cards (large letters only) and turn them over and play concentration. When the child turns over a card, have them say the letter or help them. When they make a match, congratulate them and say YES, two b's B is for boy, etc. Concentration is eye-hand coordination, uses both sides of the brain (singing uses one and talking the other), helps them learn to sit, learn to share, etc.

As to the letter, I would again ask why you don't teach the ABC's to the kids, or is this just a child care not a pre-school. Then write a letter from the brochure the parents received. And if the brochure says they will learn the ABC's tell the parent you will be focusing on the basics of the letters of the alpha through games and music. Keep the letter simple and very short. And tell the truth.

But I would question whose job it is to justify the learning structure of this pre-school!!!!

Answer 3

Let them know children learn at a different pace, and not only that they have very short attention span. During the summer months it is all about review not so much writing. Tell the parents they also need to help at home, because the parents and teachers r to work as a team.

Answer 4

Refer the issue to the director of the preschool. That person should call the parents and let them know what the curriculum is for the 4-year olds. If you have not been directed to teach the 4-year olds to write their ABC's, it's not your fault.

Answer 5

I know exactly how you feel. I have worked in daycare for 5 years and I know exactly what goes on. You have 25-30 kids by yourself, the floaters don't help. You don't get reimbursed for supplies, you have biters, add kids, and bullies, and other kids who refuse to come to circle time. Now concerning the ABC's. First of all in daycare, they don't teach the ABC's in order, otherwise kids would only remember the ABC song and not be able to recognize the letters. With preschoolers, you must incorporate "whole language learning." This is where you have a center with nothing but, magazines, newspapers, comic books, abc foam letters, etc. Most daycares don't start abc recognition until the age of five. But, you can incoroporate "early literacy." By reading stories, going over the abc's during circle time, but don't do the letters in order, otherwise the kids only remember the song but have no comprehension of each letter recognition. Tell the parents, in our preschool class we do "early literacy," beginning understanding that letters are the introduction to words. In preschool we do activities to begin the pathway towards "early litracy." Instead of group activites like in school, where kids are shown the letter and than sing the ABC song, we do what is called, "whole language learning." At circle time we use foam block letters and have the kids say the letter and than match it up with the correct letter on the chart. We use pocket charts and show the kids words A-Z and read stories that discuss A-Z, example: Alfred the Ant, Bobbie the barnacle, Chester the Cat (you can get these books at Lakeshore or learning is fun.) We do activities at the table like, fingerpainting, where the Teacher paints an A, B, C etc and the children trace over the letter with their paintbrush. You could also use playdough, file folder games, etc. In daycare they do "whole language learning." Research has proven that children learn their letter recognition if they are introduced to ABC's in random orders. Do a different letter each month and incorporate that into your monthly theme. Father's day activities anything with F. Easter anything with E. Halloween anything with H, Thanksgiving anything with T etc. You see in daycare Letters and art often go hand in hand, combine the activities. You are teaching your preschoolers letters, but not in sequential order, and if you are not than you should begin whole language activites. If you do not have a curriculum that supports whole language learning you can still incorporate into your daily activities on your own. Helpful monthly themed books to get are called: Teacher friends publications, themes for every month, get them at Learning is fun. You will find that as a daycare teacher you will have to do many things on your own and purchase items that your center will not reimburse you for. Also, it would be helpful if you took several Ece classes through your college, "Early childhood education classes." Such as: Children's literature, Math in the preschool classroom, Whole langauge learning, The whole child etc. By law your center must reimburse you for ECE college classes you take and they count towards your 15 units each year that you need. Remember start "whole language learning."

Answer 6

I can answer this question for you. The research shows that the last muscle to develop is in the hand. 3, 4, and some 5 year olds can not hold a pencil in the correct way. You will have those students that are ready to write, those are the ones you need to work with. That is why we concentrate on fine motor skills in pre-k to build up those muscles in the hand in order for them to gain that control to hold a scissors, pencil, pen, or crayon in the correct manner. I believe if you explain this to parents and point out that if you push them to soon, that they will discourage them from learning, I am sure they will see why we do not push them to write when they are not ready. Now that you have the research information, all you need to do is present it in the form of a letter. Good luck.

Answer 7

Some -- a lot, really -- kid hassles are easily sorted by following the same etiquette guidelines you would follow for dealing with other adults. You wouldn't eat or drink something in front of a guest without offering to share, right? So... Anyway, what MT said. If you need a big bowl of Cheetos or whatever wait until bedtime; in the meantime it's a great way to sell your three-year-old on the virtues of grapefruit and pesto.

Answer 8

Tell the parents you are going to start doin ABC games and charts to start and doing just one letter a day of a coloring page and slowly let the grasp it! Making preschoolers sit in a desk and write is to much and can be hard on them and make them even more resentful So you are going to take a fun approach!

Hopw this helps!

Answer 9

Here's a short article I wrote for Montessori Life that talks about handling parent complaints. I would start there:

http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_qa4097/is_200507/ai_n15615315

You mentioned in your "Additional Details" about them wanting you to sit them in a desk and teach them how to write and that seems to be the main focus for the parents. The results are something tangible they can have and see.

What your letter should do is describe how you do teach writing. What is it that you do? (From letter recognition to writing it with their fingers in the sand to .... anything.) Do you have activities that enable the children to improve their pencil grip? (The knobs on most Montessori Materials are designed specifically for that purpose. When the child grabs them, the most natural way to do it is with a pencil grip. See if you have something similar around your classroom).

What steps do you take and what are the stages for reading/writing that you go through in your classroom?

Matt

Answer 10

You'll get this often if you stay in this profession... parents do not know what is developmentally appropriate for young children to know how to do. They often expect much more than a typical preschooler is capable of. Your director should have given you a little more direction in the process of writing a parent letter- perhaps you could ask her help. I often send info home with my parents from various sources- my child development books, magazine articles (Parents magazine often has good articles), and info I receive from seminars or trainings. During "Open House", I set up each of the center areas with photos of their children in each of the areas. Then, I write a little description on each that lists various things children learn in those "work" areas. Such as: BLOCKS- spatial awareness, balance, cooperation, physics, geometry, etc. This lets the parents know that "play" IS a child's work! Good visual for the parents to see that their child really is learning something when they play. Here's an example of a letter I'd write to parents:

Dear Parents,
I'd like to take a moment to tell you about all the things your children have been learning here at (school name/class name). Here at (school name), our philosophy is that children learn best in stimulating, supportive, playful environments. We strive to give your children the foundation they will need for later learning by supporting and scaffolding their play. This means that we will offer suggestions for play experiences, give them the tools and equipment needed for play, and support them as they develop their play. Young children learn best through meaningful play experiences, so to build on that foundation is the most effective method of teaching young children. Your children learn about the world around them through play, including pre-literacy skills, pre-math skills, language skills, cognitive skills, gross motor, fine motor, and social skills. Playing with blocks, cars, dramatic play items, discovering in the science center, painting and creating with art materials, building sand castles in the sandbox, riding tricycles, bouncing balls, looking at books, pretending to write letters, and stringing beads all help your child develop these critical skills. Play is a child's work, and it comes naturally to a child. So, enjoy playing with your child as I do, and see what your child can teach you! Have fun!

Parents are just often unaware of the value of play, and that this is how children learn best. They think you arent' "teaching" them anything unless their child is coming home with ditto sheets of practice letters. We have a no-ditto policy at my preschool, and the parents are told this in their handout book. We believe children learn best through their experiences with the world around them, not through a packet of dittos. But, this was often how the parents of the preschoolers we teach were taught- so it is what they expect to see their child doing as well. We have to move the parents out of this thinking, and show them the new methods that teachers have. Good luck!